


in the morning.

by skittlestrash



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety, Depression, Domestic Violence, F/F, F/M, Homelessness, M/M, Sexual Assault, Slow Build, Very slight tho, a whole lot of song references because why not, age gap, josh is homeless, lots of angst probably, past self harm, tyler is a nurse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-07 06:35:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 35
Words: 76,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8787403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skittlestrash/pseuds/skittlestrash
Summary: Josh works at bar, Tyler is a nurse. Except it's not that simple.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [in the morning](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9402140) by [blurryspookyjim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blurryspookyjim/pseuds/blurryspookyjim)



If Josh had to pick a favorite day of the week, it had to be Wednesday. The odd day fell perfectly into the middle of the week, and nobody ever wanted to go a bar in the middle of the week. The only people who came to the bar on that day were the dedicated alcoholics, who were typically only sober enough to ask for another drink - which was the only kind of conversation he wanted to be apart of. Despite being a bartender, Josh didn’t really enjoy social interaction.

  
He plucked the old rag that sat on his shoulder off and began wiping off the counter when the last Wednesday regular walked through the front door. He grabbed a glass off the shelf behind him and set in on the bar top as the darked haired man sat down on one of the stools. He stared at the man as he tried to remember his name.

  
“Usual?” Josh asked as the other man - Josh’s brain recalled the name “Brendon” - grasped his head with both his hands, elbows resting on the counter. Josh watched as he blinked away tears and shook his head violently.

  
“Just water, please,” Brendon replied, his voice breaking on the last word. Josh raised his eyebrows in surprised before his expression contorted into one of concern. On Josh’s scale of raging alcoholics he saw come to the bar, this guy was definitely on the top. He couldn’t think of a time he saw this guy sober.

  
“What happened?” Josh asked, filling the glass with water as curiosity took over his words. Typically, Josh didn’t really care to hear why people came to the bar, but this alcoholic asshole held a soft spot in Josh’s heart.

  
“Sarah found out,” Brendon answered, his voice dry and broken. He scrubbed his misty eyes with the palm of his hands and began chugging down the glass of water.

  
Josh cringed sympathetically as the words settled in and his mind recalled all of Brendon’s drunk ramblings that revealed his life story. Brendon was a professor at one of the nearby community colleges and was unhappily married to a woman named Sarah. Josh remembered the first time Brendon came to the bar - it had been his bachelor party.

  
After a few too many drinks, Brendon confessed to the bartender that he didn’t want to get married and he wasn’t even sure if he loved Sarah. Josh remembered him going home with another boy sucking on his neck. Every night after that, Brendon would come to the bar, drink too much, spill his guts to Josh, and then go home with the same guy.

  
“And I’m guessing she didn’t take it too well,” Josh said, instantly regretting his words as Brendon viciously narrowed his eyes at the bartender.

  
“No shit, Sherlock,” he spat, “she kicked me out.”

  
“Does Ryan know?” Josh asked, pouring more water into his glass once he finished it. He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest as he listened to Brendon.

  
Brendon laughed bitterly. “I went straight to him after Sarah shut the door in my face,” he explained, “he told me he didn’t want to be the reason Sarah and I split up. The asshole told me to forget about him and try to work it out with her.” He snatched the glass of water and down it in mere seconds.

  
“Are you gonna try to work it out with her?” Josh asked, picking at the dead skin around his nails as he watched a couple tears stream down Brendon’s cheeks.

  
“I don’t love her,” he deadpanned, pushing the empty glass towards Josh. “I can’t do this water shit, give me something to forget about all this.” Brendon dug in his pocket and slammed a fifty dollar bill on the counter.

  
Josh’s hand hesitated as it grabbed the glass. He didn’t personally like enabling this guy’s addiction, but it was what he got paid for. He placed the bill into the money box and grabbed a cheap bottle of vodka off the shelf. He poured the burning drink into a shot glass and handed it to Brendon, who grabbed it greedily and instantly threw it into the back of his throat before shoving it back towards Josh.

  
It wasn’t too long before Brendon’s eyes grew glossy and his words came out faster than his tongue could keep up with. “I ‘ad always pictured dis moment d-differently ya know,” Brendon slurred, small giggles slipping out his mouth in between words. “I t-thought dat if she found out, Ryan and I could be h-happy together. But looks like I messed up with R-Ryan too.”

  
Josh uncomfortably watched as the man’s hiccups turned to sobs and he buried his head into folded arms. Reluctantly, Josh placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and rubbed it sympathetically. He sighed as he looked up at the clock and the empty bar.

  
“Dude, you gotta go, it’s past midnight and my boss will kill me if I don’t close up,” Josh told him regrettably. No matter how bad he felt for Brendon, he couldn’t get in trouble with his boss again. Even the thought of it terrified him.

  
Josh knew there was no way he could leave this place on his own and safely, but he also knew there was no way he could be the one to help him. “Do you have a place to go? Or someone I can call?” he asked.

  
Brendon nodded and his finger stumbled over his pocket before pulling out his phone. He handed it to Josh. “T-Tyler,” he stuttered, his eyelids fluttering.

  
Josh quickly unlocked his phone and clicked on his contacts, scrolling until he found the name. He pressed call and waited three rings before a voice answered. “Brendon?” it asked, voice tired and groggy. The poor guy must have been asleep.

  
“Hi, not Brendon,” Josh greeted, unsure what to say, “I’m a friend of Brendon’s and he’s currently shitfaced. He asked me to call you.”

  
The guy sighed and Josh heard rustling on the other end. “You should really be calling his wife,” he replied, “she’s probably worried about him.”

  
“Probably not considering she kicked him out,” Josh stated, plainly. It probably wasn’t really his place to be telling this Tyler guy about Brendon’s personal stuff, but he figured Brendon trusted his enough if he was the person he chose to help in his drunken state. Plus, he really needed to get Brendon out of here as soon as possible.

  
Josh heard Tyler sigh sadly and the sound of keys jingling. “Where you guys at?” he asked.

  
“Vessel Bar, it’s right off of Regional Street - there’s a bright pink neon sign on the outside of it, you can’t miss it,” Josh answered, groaning inwardly as he heard Brendon start snoring.

  
“Alright, I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Tyler replied, “just keep him alive until I get there please.” Then the line went dead.

  
While waiting for Tyler to show up, Josh was able to get Brendon to wake up for long enough to sip on some water. Ten minutes past before Josh heard the door open and his head shot up at the sound. A guy who looked to be in his early twenties stepped through the door with a panicked look in his cinnamon coloured eyes. His dark hair was messy and sticking out in every direction, either from sleep or constant pulling.

  
“I’m guessing you’re Tyler,” Josh said as he stared at the disheveled man. Tyler nodded and wordlessly walked over to Brendon, who was passed out on the bartop.

  
“Shit, Brendon,” Tyler cursed under his breath, shaking Brendon’s shoulders urgently. The drunk man blinked wearily and looked up at Tyler, a lopsided grin painting his face.

  
“Tyler! You’re here!” he exclaimed, his words still slurred from the alcohol. He tried standing up and immediately began stumbling towards the ground. Tyler quickly grabbed Brendon by the chest before he could fall to the floor. “Hey, hey, I k-know this is like super last minute but do you think I c-could crash at your place for a bit?”

  
Tyler pressed his lips into a forced smile. “Of course, Bren,” he replied, “let’s just get you there safely okay?” Tyler rested his arms around Brendon’s waist and shoulders as he guided him towards the door. He paused at the door before turning to look at Josh. “Hey thanks for calling me, man. Most people would have just left him out on the street.”

  
Josh waved him off. “Nah man, no need to thank me for a being a decent human being ,” he joked, making Tyler laugh through his nose.

  
“I’ll see you around, man,” Tyler said, struggling to keep Brendon steady as he opened the door. “And really, thank you.”

  
“Just take care of him, yeah?” Josh replied. Tyler nodded and carried Brendon out of the bar.  
Once they left, Josh quickly cleaned up the bar and locked up the money box. When he was done, he entered the back room and grabbed his jacket and keys. He locked the front door, turned off all the lights, and left the bar through the back door, locking it before entering the parking lot.

  
He shoved his keys into his car’s door and hopped into the driver’s seat. He turned on the ignition and backed out of the small parking lot. Josh sent a little prayer out to the universe that today wouldn’t be the day the piece of junk decided to break down.

  
Josh drove until he reached the familiar abandoned overpass. He pulled his car into the empty spot near the bridge and turned it off once parked. He climbed out the car and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets as the brisk winter air crawled over his skin. He jogged over to the shelter under the graffitied bridge that was illuminated by a small fire that stood in the middle. A group of familiar faces stood around the fire, their gaunt faces glowing under the orange light. His footsteps caused them to look up and their faces broke out into a band of smiles.

  
“Yo Josh,” Pete greeted, leaving the comfort of the fire to walk over to Josh and wrap his arms tightly around the younger boy. “You’re home late.”

  
Josh laughed at his use of the word “home.” “Long day at work,” he replied, simply. He ran his cold fingers through his hair as he surveyed the shelter. “Where’s Abby at?” he asked, a twinge of worry stringing his words.

  
“She’s up on the bridge with Hayley,” Patrick answered, piping in from his spot in front of the fire. Josh nodded and patted Pete’s shoulder before walking over to the rickety ladder attached to the cement walls. He climbed up to the top of the bridge where he spotted the two girls.

  
Josh listened to the sweet strum of Hayley’s guitar as he sat down next to Abby. She was quietly singing under her breath, it was a song Josh couldn’t recognize. Her voice went quiet when she looked over at Josh, a small smile playing on her lips.

  
“Hey Joshie,” she greeted, playfully as she slid closer to him. She rested her head on his shoulder and he combed his fingers through her blonde hair, ignoring the grime that covered it. “How was work?”

  
“It was….interesting,” he stated, laughing through his nose as his sister looked at him peculiarly, but said nothing. She snuggled closer into his side and Josh wrapped an arm around her shoulders as a gush of wind caused her to shiver.

  
A moment of silence passed over the two as they listened to a melody Hayley began to pick out on the guitar, her voice lulling them into a feeling of peace. “ _I’m going away for awhile, but I’ll be back, don’t try to follow me_ ,” she sang, her voice soft, continuing the song as Abby looked up at Josh.

  
“Is it the bar or gas station tomorrow?” she asked, mindlessly playing with the shredded denim on Josh’s jeans.

  
“Gas station,” he said. He felt his sister relax under him at his answer.

  
“Good,” she said, “I hate that bar. I wish you would just quit.” Josh sighed as he sensed the familiar argument begin to start.

  
“I know Abbs, I hate it too,” he admitted, “but we need the money, sis. I don’t want you to live under an overpass forever.”

  
Abby pressed her lips into a straight line as she stared at the older boy. She sighed as she stared down at her hands that sat in her lap. “I miss home,” she confessed, her voice hushed.

  
Josh flinched at her words, pushing himself away from her. His chest burned as her stinging words sunk deep into his mind. “You don’t mean that,” he denied, staring at the ground that suddenly looked farther away. “Not after everything they did-”

  
“I know what they did was wrong, Josh,” she retorted, “but at least you weren’t stressed out of your mind working two shit jobs and we had a roof over our heads.” Her voice seemed to get louder with every word.

  
The burning in his chest caused him to narrow his eyes at his sister. “Well it doesn’t matter if you miss it or not,” he spat, “you know just as well as I that there’s no way we could go back. This is our life now, so you better get used to it.”

  
Abby opened her mouth to argue, but said nothing as her eyes fell back down to her lap and her shoulders slumped. Another moment of silence passed over the two when another round of cold wind brushed against the two, forcing them closer together. She laid her head into his lap and he returned his fingers to her dirty hair. He closed his eyes and focused on Hayley’s lullaby.

  
“ _But I’m just a ghost_  
_And still they echo me_  
_They echo me in circles_ ….”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little warning for anyone who's sensitive to or triggered by vomiting. It's nothing graphic, but always stay safe frens <3   
> Also this chapter is dedicated to the lovely people who left me the wonderful comments on the last chapter!

Tyler wasn’t sure if his lack of sleep was due to his own racing mind or the obnoxious snoring coming from his best friend’s mouth. Despite being an entire room away, Tyler could hear the monstrous sound loud and clear.

  
Pulling his eyes away from the dull glow of the tv, he looked over at the clock and read “10:14” in right red font. A groan escaped his lips and he rubbed his burning eyes with his knuckles. Tyler was very grateful for the fact he didn’t have a morning shift that day.

  
He stood up from the sofa and sighed at the permanent crease the cushion had in the form of his spine. He groggily walked over to his bedroom door and quietly opened it, not wanting to disturb the most likely hungover man.

  
During the night, Brendon moved from the side position Tyler had set him up in and had his limbs splayed out like a starfish on the bed. His hair was chaotic and far from the neat, well-kept style he usually had it as. Early morning stubble covered his jaw, drool dripping down from his mouth and onto Tyler’s pillow. _Awesome_.

  
Tyler sat on the side of his bed and placed a gentle hand on Brendon’s shoulder, softly shaking him awake. “Bren? You need to wake up, I can’t have you drowning in a puddle of your own drool.” He spoke in a quiet voice, but loud enough for Brendon to hear.

  
After a few more minutes of shaking, a pained moan was released from Brendon’s throat. He curled into a fetal position under the blanket and swatted Tyler’s hand away from his shoulder. “Go away,” he murmured, his voice raspy from alcohol and sleep.

  
“Sorry, but no can do, friendo,” Tyler replied, pulling the blanket off of Brendon, causing him to shiver and coil further into a ball. “After your little shit show last night, someone’s gotta take care of you. And as your best friend and unofficial mother, that duty falls on me.”

  
Brendon rolled his eyes and threw the pillow over his face. “I feel like I got hit by a truck,” he groaned, his words laced with pain and muffled by the pillow.

  
“I think you’re hungover,” Tyler stated, flinching when Brendon kicked him hard in the thigh and threw the pillow at his head.

  
“You don’t fucking say,” Brendon snapped, squeezing his eyes shut and massaging his temples.

  
Sympathy crawled into Tyler’s chest and forced a sad sigh out. He rubbed soothing circles into his friend’s back as his breathing grew laboured. “What happened last night?” Tyler asked, watching Brendon’s face contort uncomfortably as he recalled the events of the previous night.

  
Brendon forced himself up into a sitting position and looked up at the ceiling, avoiding Tyler’s gaze. “So, I - uh - came home from work last night and Sarah just seemed off. She wouldn’t talk to me and she wouldn’t even look at me for longer than a second. I pestered her all night, just trying to figure out what was wrong and she just _snapped_.” Brendon paused to swallow the lump growing in his throat.

  
“She pulled out her phone and showed me a picture a friend of hers took-” he stopped again as he gasped violently, air seeming to his lungs suddenly. Tyler leaned towards him urgently as Brendon erupted into a gross coughing fit.

  
Brendon waved him off when it passed and cleared his throat, wiping the wetness from his eyes. “It was of me and Ryan at the bar - and I thought I had been _so careful_ ,” he growled in frustration. “We screamed at each other for hours it seemed like before she finally had enough and told me to get out.” His eyes fell to lap as he finished his explanation, rapidly blinking away tears.

  
“Did you tell Ryan?” Tyler asked, regretting his words when the name caused Brendon’s face to crumble to dust.

  
“I walked all the way to his house afterwards - I figured he’d be happy, ya know?” Brendon sniffed, wiping his sleeve across his nose. “He told me he didn’t want to be the reason Sarah and I separate. He told me to forget all about him and work it out with Sarah - as if the last eight months meant absolutely _nothing_.” He spat out the last words like venom.

  
Tyler quickly pulled Brendon into his embrace once his sniffles turned into sobs. He sighed miserably as he was forced to watch his best friend break down.

  
Tyler knew there was no way the two would be able to work it out. He knew Brendon didn’t love Sarah like he did a year ago. He remembered the way he used to look at Sarah like she was the moon and stars.

  
He also knew this wasn’t something Sarah could simply forgive and forget. Too much broken trust is created from cheating. Tyler knew all too well it’s something you can’t easily move on from.

  
He remembered when Brendon came to him weeks after the wedding, drunk and guilty as hell. He rambled about the bachelor party Tyler didn’t go to and fondly spoke of a guy with soft brown hair and the sweetest lips. Tyler felt betrayed - for both himself and Sarah. Even though his conscious begged him to tell Sarah, he didn’t.

  
“Do I need to say I told you so?” Tyler asked, jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood. He felt like he was gonna suffocate with all the emotions and tension that filled the room.

  
Brendon let out a watery chuckle. “Please, spare me from it,” he pleaded, half sarcastic and half sincere.

  
Tyler smoothed out his friend’s hair, pushing it away from his eyes. “You can stay here as long as you need okay?” he told him.

  
Brendon looked as if he was about to argue, but realized Tyler was too stubborn to let him say otherwise and nodded.

  
His face suddenly contorted into a pained expression and he hunched over the bed, away from Tyler. “I think I’m gonna be sick,” he groaned, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

  
“You know where the bathroom is,” Tyler deadpanned, watching Brendon jump up from the bed and stumble towards the bathroom.

  
Tyler pushed himself off the bed and walked over to the kitchen. He grabbed a cup and filled it with some water. He made his way to the bathroom and cringed at the smell and sound of Brendon wrenching.

  
He set the glass down on the counter next to the toilet and kneeled down by Brendon. “Ya need some pain killers?” he asked, rubbing Brendon’s back sympathetically.

  
Brendon spat out some bile and painfully turned his head to look over at Tyler. “Some weed would be really great right now,” he replied, wearing a weak grin before his spine jerked and he emptied even more of his stomach’s contents.

  
Tyler snorted and shook his head. “You do realize I could lose my job if I possessed any kind of illicit drugs, right?” he remarked, standing up from his position next to Brendon.

  
He opened up the medicine cabinet and rummaged through the contents that sat messily on the plastic shelves. He found the familiar white bottle and popped it open, meeting an empty inside. “Well looks like I’m all out of advil,” he said, throwing the bottle into the trashcan. “Are you gonna be alright if I make a quick run to the gas station?”

  
Brendon gave him a thumbs up as he leaned further into the toilet, almost throwing his face into it. Tyler left the rancid smelling room, threw on a pair of shoes, and grabbed his keys and wallet. He walked out of his apartment, locking the door behind him, and he inhaled the scent of rain. Small droplets of water landed on his forehead and he figured he’d survive without a jacket.

  
Lucky for Tyler, the gas station was only a couple streets away and he could easily walk to it. Tyler’s feet splashed against small puddles as he walked along the cement, the water soaking through his shoes and making his socks soppy. He loved rain too much to care.

  
He walked around the corner and came up to the gas station that was lit ominously, the gray skies and rain making it look all the more eerie. He wiped his feet on the asphalt before stepping into the gas station, an annoying beep ringing through the store as he walked through the front door.

  
Tyler made his way to small aisle that held a variety of different medicine. His eyes scanned the different bottles, bags, and boxes until he spotted the one he was looking for. He snatched the white bottle and grabbed a couple red bulls as well.

  
Tyler padded over to the register and set all his items down onto the counter. He pulled out his wallet and began digging out a twenty.

  
“Did you find everything you were looking for?” the guy behind the counter asked, his voice artificially covered with complaisance. He grabbed each item and began to scan them.

  
Tyler nodded. “Yeah, thanks-” he paused as he recognized the head of faded pink curls. “Hey, it’s you.”

  
The guy looked up from the scanner and his eyes sparked with familiarity when they landed on Tyler. “Oh hey - Tyler was it?” he asked, tilting his head to the side as he spoke with uncertainty.

  
“Yeah, it’s Tyler,” he answered, “I, uh, never got your name.” The pink haired boy pointed to a name tag pinned to his chest that read ‘Josh.’ “Oh,” Tyler inwardly groaned at his own stupidity. “Well, thank you again for last night _Josh_.”

  
Josh smiled shyly and brushed it off again. “You really don’t have to thank me,” he insisted, “I was just doing what I would’ve wanted someone else to do for me.”

  
Tyler shrugged and returned the smile. “I saw the hours of the bar, you should’ve kicked him out an hour before,” he commented, “why didn’t you?”

  
Josh printed out a receipt and gave it to Tyler in exchange for the twenty. “Brendon’s been coming to the bar for eight months,” Josh started, opening the register and placing the bill inside. “I guess he’s just one of my favorites.” He pulled out a few ones and some change, handing it to Tyler.

  
Tyler shoved the change into his pocket as he laughed quietly. “I would think the heavy alcoholic would be your least favorite customer,” he remarked.

  
Josh let out an angelic laugh as he bagged up Tyler’s stuff. “How could I hate the guy who gives me like eighty percent of my paycheck,” Josh smirked, handing the bag over to Tyler. He propped his elbows up on the counter as he continued to laugh at his own joke.

  
“Understandable,” Tyler agreed before realizing he needed to go back home to Brendon. “Well I guess I’ll see you around, yeah?”

  
Josh smiled softly and nodded. “Yeah.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter than the last one but I hope you guys still enjoyed it. If you did, please let me know! Your guys' feedback means the world to me! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's four a.m so please forgive me for any mistakes

Josh hated rain.

 

He didn’t always hate it - in fact, he use to love it.  He loved sitting by the giant window in the living room, watching the cloudy skies behind the protection of a roof and forcing droplets to race against the window’s glass.  

 

He would drag Abby out to the clearing behind their house and they’d run around in the puddles that accumulated in the grass, making it wet and soppy.  He remembered when Abby slipped and broke her ankle.  He carried her home on his back, both of them with tears streaming down their face.

 

Now such weather was nothing but an inconvenience.  The bridge didn’t do much to shield the shelter from the rain.  Drops spilled off the edge and openings and formed puddles around their homes.  They all pushed their stuff together in a few parts the water couldn’t reach, building a fire in the driest spot that they all surrounded.

 

“Hey Josh, where Abby at?” Patrick asked from across the fire, snuggling closer into Pete’s side as his teeth chattered.  Pete pulled a sleeve of his jacket off his shoulder and pulled Patrick under the leather.  

 

“She took refuge in the car,” Josh answered, hovering his palms over the flames.  They licked at his fingertips, threatening to becoming a painful mark in his skin.

 

“Why don’t you guys just live in the car?” Hayley asked, “it definitely beats this shithole.”  Pete scoffed at her words.

 

“Hey!  It may be a shithole, but it’s our shithole,” he stated, defensively.  

 

Josh rolled his eyes at the two.  “We tried living in the car for a couple weeks,” he started, “one night a guy tried to break in and it freaked Abby out.  She refused to stay in it anymore.”

 

Pete grinned from ear-to-ear.  “It’s a good thing I found you guys, amirite?” he asked, his voice fond.  Patrick shivered under his arms and he pulled him closer, forcing him onto his lap.  Their fingers laced together and Patrick planted tiny kisses into Pete’s cheeks.

 

Josh gave him a small smile.  “Yeah, it really was.”

 

_One year earlier_

 

Cars raced down the blacktop streets, their wheels running through puddles on the side of the road.  The water splashed against Josh’s legs and his muscles tensed up under the sudden cold wave.  Perhaps finding shelter by the sidewalk wasn’t the smartest idea.

 

He stared down at his lap where his sister’s head rested.  Her eyes fluttered as she slept, pouted lips releasing little noises.  He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and massaged his fingers through it, smiling when she relaxed under his touch.

 

Josh kept his other hand around the wrinkled piece of cardboard he dug out of the trash, ‘anything helps’ messily scrawled across it.  The sign wavered under Josh’s trembling hands, making the words even harder to read.  

 

Staring at all the cars, Josh imagined what it’d be like to walk out into the middle of road  Just end it all.  Better yet, take the forsaken piece of junk his father gifted him and drive it off a cliff.  It worried Josh how tempting the idea was becoming.

 

It wasn’t that Josh wanted to die or anything - he was just tired.  Tired of fighting everyday for both himself and his sister.  Maybe just ending it all would be better.

 

He couldn’t do that to Abby though.  As much as he found the idea desirable, he knew Abby could never forgive him for it.  How could he force her away from the comfort of four walls just to have him leave her out on her own?  Josh refused to be that selfish.  

 

Struggling to keep his eyes open, Josh’s head fell to the cement.  He fought to stay awake, but he eventually lost the battle and oblivion swarmed his head.

 

Josh woke up after God knows how long by something shaking his shoulder.  His eyes shot open and his body jerked up, away from the unknown presence.  Unfortunately, his sudden movement forced Abby awake as well.

 

“Woah!  Calm down, man, I promise I’m not gonna hurt you guys,” a male voice spoke, his words sounding genuine.  Josh held onto Abby a little tighter.

 

“Who the hell are you?” Josh asked, shaking away the fog of sleep from his mind, forcing himself to be alert.  He squinted his eyes up at the figure hovering over them.  

 

A man in his late twenties, early thirties, kneeled down beside them.  He wore a leather jacket and holed up scarf and gloves.  Warm eyes sparkled as he smiled softly.  “The name’s Pete,” he answered, holding his hand out in front of Josh.

 

The younger man took it hesitantly as he narrowed his eyes.  “I’m Josh,” he replied, reluctantly.  “What do you want?”

 

“Well, I don’t know if you guys know this but the sidewalk is not the most comfortable place to sleep,” he chuckled, “now I don’t got no fancy house or even mediocre apartment, but I do have a place with a couple mattresses, some food and water, a nice fire, and some great company.  If you want, I’ll take you guys to it.”

 

“Yes, please,” Abby agreed before a single syllable came from Josh.  He spun his head around to look at her and he stared at her in disbelief.

 

“Are you kidding me, Abby?  We don’t even know this guy,” Josh protested, “he could be some psychopathic serial killer.”  Pete snorted.

 

“So what? We’ll die out here anyway,” she retorted, glaring at her brother.  

 

Josh turned his attention back to Pete.  “Why should we trust you?  Why would you possibly want to help us?” he asked.

 

Pete’s grin fell into a sad smile.  “Cause I was in your guys’ position once, sleeping on the sidewalk and begging anyone who gave their pity looks for anything.  And if it hadn’t been for one guy who gave me the offer I’m giving you guys, I’d probably be dead,” he explained, “I know it’s hard to believe - and trust me, _I understand_ \- but there are good people in the world.  I hope you can believe I’m one of them.”

 

Josh wanted to be stubborn, but he wanted what was best for Abby - which was not sleeping on the side of the road.  If this guy was telling the truth, maybe they could actually get through this alive.  

 

“Fine,” he agreed, still hesitant.  A grin returned to Pete’s face and he offered a hand to both Josh and Abby.  They stood up together and followed him down the street.

 

He flashed them one last grin before marching down towards an old overpass.  “Trust me, you guys are going to love the place.”

  
  


“I’m gonna go check on Abby,” Josh announced, jumping to his feet and leaving the sweet warmth of the fire.  They all hummed in reply as he jogged over to where the small car was parked.

 

He pulled open the driver side of the car and sat down in front of the wheel.  Abby smiled softly as she looked up at Josh.  “Hey,” she greeted, straightening up from her curled position in the raggedy seat.  

 

“Hey Abbs,” he said, “guess what?”  

 

“What?” she asked, leaning over the console and pushing curls away from Josh’s eyes.

 

“I have a surprise for you,” he replied in a sing-song voice.  He couldn’t help but smile when she raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“And what would that be?” she asked.  

 

“Open the glove box,” he instructed.  She glanced at him oddly, but obliged anyway.  She pushed open the glove box and gasped happily.  

 

“Oh my gosh, Josh…” she said as she pulled out the box of Oreos and a used CD of _Pet Sounds_ by the Beach Boys.  “How were you able to get these?”

 

“Well I got the oreos free from the gas station,” Josh replied, “and Ashley from the bar is moving in with some new roommates so she was giving a lot of her old stuff away - including that CD.”

 

Abby laughed under her breath and wiped her sleeve over her eyes.  “Thank you Josh,” she sniffed, “this means a lot.”

 

She reached across the seat and wrapped her thin arms around his shoulders, squeezing him tight.  He rubbed her back and planted a kiss into her forehead.  “I’m sorry for last night,” he said , releasing from the hug to look her in the eye.

 

“Me too,” she admitted, “as much as it sucks, I’m glad we left.”  Josh widen his eyes in surprise at her words.

 

“Really?” he asked in disbelief.

 

She nodded. “I wasn’t happy there,” she said, “and oddly enough, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been here.”  

 

“Me too,” Josh lied, forcing his lips into an artificial  smile.  “Now buckle up, I have one more surprise for you.”  He pushed his keys into the car as Abby look at him oddly while locking in her seat belt.

 

As he drove, Abby opened the CD case and placed the disc into the old car stereo.  Josh hummed along as familiar drum beats and nostalgic harmonies filled the speakers.

 

 _Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older?_ _  
_ _Then we wouldn’t have to wait so long_

_And wouldn’t it be nice to live together_

_In the kind of world where we belong?_

 

Abby sang with the song as she grinned at Josh, bobbing her head along to it.  He glanced at her for a second, enjoying how happy she looked right then.  If he could, he’d freeze time and keep this moment forever.

 

After about ten minutes of driving, Josh pulled over on the side of the road in front of a forest.  Abby’s eyebrows knitted together as she looked at their surrounding.  “Where are we?” she asked.

 

“You’ll see,” he smirked, climbing out the car and Abby following suit.  He locked his hand with Abby’s and dragged her along.

They entered among the trees and walked through branches and leaves.  They kicked dirt beneath their feet as they ran through the forest.  They ran until they came to one large tree that stood in the middle of a clearing.  A well held-up treehouse sat on top of the mighty oak, a rope ladder swinging under the entrance.

 

“Is this..” Abby’s voice trailed away from her question as she got closer to the structure.  Her hands brushed over the ladder, memories seeming to seep through it.

 

“Yeah, it’s the same one,” he confirmed, walking over to her side.

 

“I can’t believe it’s still here,” she said.

 

“Me neither,” he replied, “let’s go up, yeah?”

 

She nodded eagerly and hopped onto the ladder.  Josh followed her up and they both ducked their heads to enter the building.

 

“It’s smaller than I remember,” he joked as he sat down, crossing his legs over one another.  Abby laughed and hummed in agreement as she sat down next to him.  

 

There were no toys covering the floor of the treehouse like he remembered it.  The entire thing was completely cleaned out besides the few scratches and carving in the walls.  He laughed as he spotted the ones he carved cuss words into and their dad scratched out.

 

“Hey look,” Abby piped up, pointing at a dark spot in the corner of the house.  “It’s the spot where you decided burning up your report card would be good idea.”

 

Josh snorted.  “I would’ve rather burned to death than let mom and dad see my grades were decorated with failures,” he remarked.  Abby laughed, but she recognized some sincerity to his joke.

 

She sighed contently as she laid her head on top of his shoulder.  “We should just live here.”

 

Another laugh escaped Josh’s lips.  “ Pete would drag us back by our ears if we ever tried to leave him,” he stated.  Abby nodded and giggled, the sound filling Josh will joy.

 

She buried her head further into his shoulder and stared over at the burnt wall.  “Do you think we’ll always be like this?” she asked, the happy tone leaving her voice.  

 

Josh pulled her closer and pressed his lips into her hair, giving her arm a reassuring rub.  “Of course not,” he said, “I’ll get rich off of bar tips and we’ll live in a house of gold or something.”

 

Abby shook her head.  “Nah, too flashy for me,” she said, making Josh laugh.  “But really, as long as it’s somewhere with you, anywhere is okay.”

 

“Even if that place was a small, cramped treehouse?”

 

“Even a treehouse.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of Tyler in this chapter, but I thought some nice backstory and sibling time would be nice. I really hope you guys enjoyed it! Let me know if you did! You guys have been so wonderful in the comments, you all are so nice <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for mentions of a suicide attempt and past self harm and blood  
> Stay safe frens <3

Tyler knew he was too deep in his job when the smell of bleach and disinfectant brought a sense of comfort over him.

  
He traveled down the wide hallways of the hospital, his white shoes scruffing against the squeaky clean tile floors. He flipped through the clipboard in his hands, paying half a mind to where he was going and what was in his way. He may or may not have run into a couple walls.

  
According to the schedule, he was to meet Dr.Weekes in room 15B to check on up on a trauma patient. The patient, Mandy, came to the hospital a couple months ago after a suicide attempt. Her roommate found her in their bathtub, cuts covering her thighs and stomach. Her blood loss was severe and they were forced to do a transfusion. Unfortunately, her body rejected the donated blood and caused kidney damaged. After an urgent surgery, her body began to wind down and let itself heal. Ever since, she’s been recovering under Tyler’s care.

  
Tyler eventually reached the correct room and he softly opened the door, hoping not to startle the girl. She sat criss-cross on top of the hospital bed, her eyes glued to whatever was playing on the static covered tv. Her wild curly hair was pulled back into a ponytail, resting over her shoulders. With her wide eyes and unruly hair, Tyler was reminded of a cartoon.

  
He offered her a soft smile as he entered the room, which she returned hesitantly. “Hi Mandy,” Tyler spoke carefully, making his way towards her bedside. “Has Dr.Weekes come to check on you yet?”

  
She shook her head as he checked her vitals and I.V drip. “Has anyone come to give your medicine for the afternoon yet?” he asked, carefully approaching her side and checking her stitches.

  
“Yes, a nurse with blonde hair did,” she answered, her voice small and quiet. “I don’t remember what her name was though.”

  
Tyler swallowed thickly. “It’s alright, I know who you’re talking about,” he assured, his voice wavering the slightest. At least they hadn’t come to the room at the same time. Tyler’s pretty sure he would’ve suffocated from being in the same room as her.

  
An uneasy silence fell over the two as Tyler continued to check on her charts as he waited for Dr.Weekes. He knew something was wrong with the way she refused to even look at him. Sure, she was shy, but this was a little different.

  
“Mandy?” Tyler questioned, concerning lacing his gentle voice. “Is something wrong? You don’t seem like yourself today.”

  
The EKG spiked the slightest as the rise and fall of her chest quickened the slightest. “It’s nothing, really. Just stupid stuff,” she replied, a few stray tears falling from her dark eyes.

  
“It’s obviously not nothing, Mandy,” Tyler comforted, kneeling down to her level. “I just wanna help you, okay? You can trust me.”

  
A shaky breath left from her quivering lips. “I can’t stand these scars,” she spoke in a hushed voice, ashamed. Her fingers traced over the few that were visible under the hospital gown. “They’re hideous - I look like a monster.”

  
Tyler face fell at her words and fought the temptation to reach across the bed and hug her. “Well I don’t think they look hideous, and I know you don’t look like a monster. You wanna know what you look like?”

  
“What?” she asked, tears staining the thin material of the gown she wore.

  
“Like a warrior. Like someone who has gone through so much and still made it out alive,” he smiled, “I look at you and I see an incredibly strong person - not a monster.”

  
She shook her head violently at his words, quiet sobs racking her shoulders. “N-no, you’re wrong. I’m not strong at all. No strong person would do something like this, “ she argued, beginning to scratch at the scars, causing a few to bleed.

  
Tyler immediately grabbed her hands to stop her from hurting herself. He plucked some tissues and dabbed at the open cuts. He placed a couple bandaids on top of them to stop the bleeding.

  
He struggled for words as the need to comfort her overflowed him. An idea popped into Tyler’s head and he began rolling up the long cotton sleeves he wore under his scrubs.

  
Multiple white lines decorated his tan arms, some more faded than others. Some were years old, others only several months old. Mandy bit down on the tip of her thumb as she stared at his arms, her wide eyes watery.

  
“Do you think I look hideous?” he asked, causing her to shake her head in reply. “Do you think I’m weak?” Another shake of the head. “Then neither are you, Mandy, okay? I’ve been where you are, and I promise you, staying alive is worth it.”

  
She sniffed and kept her eyes glued on his arms even after he rolled his sleeves back down. “Why did you do it?” she asked.

  
“Different reasons for different times,” he answered, simply. She looked as if she had more to say, but the sound of the door opening stopped her. A familiar head of brown hair poked through the door and flashed a smile at the two.

  
“Hello Miss.Lee, Dr.Joseph,” Dr.Weekes greeted, stepping gingerly into the room. Tyler nodded curtly at his boss and Mandy smiled weakly.

  
“I take it you’ve already administered her medication and given her the usual check up?” Weekes asked, looking over Tyler’s work.

  
“Yes sir,” Tyler replied, giving another curt nod.  
“Fantastic, that means we can get straight to the good news,” the doctor stated, sitting down in the chair next to Mandy’s bed.

  
“Good news?” she questioned.

  
He grinned and nodded. “Yes, great news,” he said, clasping his hands into his lap as he spoke to the patient. “So I know we said you probably wouldn’t be discharged until much later in November, but you’ve been recovering so fast and well that we’ll be able to release you sometime next week.”

  
Mandy’s face glowed as she smiled widely, showing off her gapped teeth. “Really?” she asked in disbelief. Weekes nodded and Mandy looked over at Tyler, her eyes sparkling.

  
Tyler smiled back at the girl, pride swelling in his chest. “See? I told you that you were strong,” he said, making her smile brighter. Tyler was gonna miss that smile.

  
After a few discussions of recovery at home and more congratulations from both Weekes and Joseph, the two stepped out of the room. “What time do you check out today, Joseph?” Weekes asked as they walked down the corridor.

  
“In half an hour, sir,” Tyler answered, “why do you ask?”

  
“I was told Dr.Hurley and Dr.Black needed your assistant over in Pediatrics,” he explained, “do you think you could run by there before you leave today.”

  
“Oh, uh, sure,” Tyler said, shakily. His eyes locked on the floor as fog seemed to cloud his vision. “Of course I can, sir.”

  
Weekes stared at him uncertainly. “Are you sure that’s okay with you?” he asked.

  
Tyler nodded vigorously, trying to shake out the fog. “Yeah, it’s totally okay with me.” He turned the corner away from Weekes and towards the Pediatric unit before the doctor could continue to question the younger man.

  
Tyler swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat as he spotted a head of platinum. He knew he was being ridiculous. They worked in the same hospital, they were gonna have to run into each other at some point.

  
She was kneeling by one of the smaller hospital beds, a boy with the curliest hair sitting in it. Bags hung under her ice blue eyes and red surrounded the boys’ green ones.

  
He made his way towards her and lightly tapped her shoulder, causing her to spin around. Relief filled her expression and she offered him a smile. “Hey Ty.” He flinched at the nickname.

  
“Dr.Weekes told me you and Dr.Hurley needed my assistance?” Tyler inquired, his voice and posture stiff.

“Yeah, I’m really sorry to have to pull you aside like this,” Jenna apologized, the awkward tension beginning to suffocate the room. “But uh both Andy and I are having a really hard time getting an IV into this kid for his surgery. He keeps squirming and crying - we’ve already poked him enough times to freak him out even more. “

  
Tyler nodded as she continued to speak. “I know you’re trying to keep your space from me, but you’re just much better at this than I am so I really need you right now.”

  
Tyler hated the fact she had to mention the elephant that has been standing on his chest for the past few months. He really just wanted to run away. “Alright, I can do that,” he replied, robotically.

  
Jenna stepped aside and Tyler kneeled down next to the boy. “Hey buddy,” he smiled, “I’m Tyler, what’s your name?”

  
The boy sniffed. “B-Ben,” he stuttered out. He wiped a sleeve across his nose, covering the shirt in snot. Tyler pretended not to be disgusted,

  
“Ben? That’s such a cool name,” he complimented, as he wiped the needle with rubbing alcohol. “So Ben, why are you here today?”

  
“Momma says I gotta get my tonsils out,” the curly haired boy answered, “but I’m s-scared. Why can’t I keep my tonsils? They don’t seem that bad.”

  
Tyler chuckled at the boy as he connected the needle to the drip. “You have to get them out because they’ve gotten really big and they’re making you sick. If we leave them, you’ll continue to get sick - and getting sick isn’t fun, right?” Ben shook his, making his curls fly everywhere. “But you wanna know the greatest part of getting your tonsils out?”

  
“What?” he sniffed.

  
“You get to eat lots and lots of ice cream after you get them out,” Tyler said, making his green eyes grow.

  
“Really?” Ben asked, tears seeming to seize.

  
“Really! You’ll get to eat it all the time,” Tyler confirmed, chuckling as the kid looked awestruck. “What kind of ice cream do you like?”

  
Tyler gently placed the needle into Ben’s wrist as the boy babbled about the different flavours he enjoyed and the million kinds of toppings he liked to cover the ice cream with. Once checking the needle hit the vein, he grinned at Ben and stood up.

  
“All done!” Tyler announced. “See? That wasn’t so bad.”

  
Ben shook his head. “I didn’t even feel it!” he proclaimed, proudly.

  
Tyler heard Jenna sigh in relief and he forced himself to turn to look at her. “Thank you so much, Tyler, you’re amazing.”

  
Tyler nodded and gave Ben one last smile. “You’re gonna do great, okay?” he assured, making the boy smile too.

  
He turned on his heels and headed down to the attendings lounge. He began to peel off his scrubs hurriedly when he regrettably heard the door open. He spun around and groaned inwardly when his eyes met with those stupid icy blue ones.

  
“I think we need to talk,” Jenna stated, closing the door behind her.

  
“Shouldn’t you be attending to your patient?” Tyler asked, trying to stay polite with his tone as he stared her down.

  
“He’s all Andy’s now,” she replied. She huffed angrily when Tyler turned away from her, focusing on taking off his scrubs. “Would you please look at me?”

  
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Tyler deadpanned. He knew that wasn’t true, but he just couldn’t stand to face her.

  
“Ty, I understand that you’re upset,” she said, making him scoff. “And you have every right to be mad at me - I know that.”

  
“Then can’t you just leave me alone?” Tyler wanted to sound angry, but it came out sounding like a pathetic plead.

  
“I can’t just leave you alone when doing so is killing us both,” she argued, stepping closer to Tyler and making him back away.

  
“I can assure you, Jen, that’s definitely not what’s been killing me,” Tyler choked, shaking his head so he wouldn’t cry in front of her. He didn’t mean for the nickname to come out, but it felt natural on his tongue and he hated it for that.

  
“Tyler, you were my best friend. Before we dated and before any of this shit happened, that’s what you were to me.” Her voice broke as she began to fall apart. “You mean so much to me, Ty. I don’t want to lose you.”

  
A bitter laugh ran through his mouth. “You lost me when you went down on one of your interns,” he spat, the words tasting like venom in his mouth.

  
Jenna ran desperate fingers through her hair. “She meant nothing to me, Tyler! I made a mistake, why can’t you understand that?”

  
“I understand perfectly, Jenna,” he retorted, “when are you going to understand that I just can’t trust you after what you did. I can’t just let you back into my life and pretend it never happened. And frankly, you don’t deserve it.”

  
She blinked dumbly at him as his words sank into her bones. She dried the tears from under her eyes and nodded. “If that’s what you want.” And like that, she left.

  
Once she was gone, he allowed himself to gasp out a breath and he collapsed to the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest and folded his arms over them, burying his head into them. He sobbed as he wished the sinking feeling in his chest would just go away.

  
Maybe Melanie was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice little Tyler centric chapter I think with a bit of information on his past as well. Hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> But I didn't want to go another update with any Josh and Tyler interaction so I wrote another chapter for today's update! Go ahead and check it out <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for rape this chapter (though it's not graphic)

Now if Josh had to pick his least favorite day, it would be Friday. Friday was the day every thought was good enough excuse to go to a bar and get a couple drinks. Friday was the day high schoolers came in snickering with their fake IDs, thinking they were so clever. Friday meant a full bar and him and Ashley being pulled and stretched to their limits. Friday meant coming in an hour before opening and staying an hour after closing to clean up. Friday also meant dealing with Justin - which was the worst of them all.

  
“So how did Abby enjoy the CD?” Ashley asked as she set up chairs and tables around the bar.

  
“She loved it, I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever given her, “ Josh said, drying off the freshly washed glasses. “Thanks for giving it to me, Ash.”

  
“Nah, no need to thank me,” she waved him off, straightening a couple chairs.

  
Right when Josh was about to reply, heavy footsteps entered from the back room and entered the front of the bar. Ashley sent a look to Josh as they heard the noise. Dark blues eyes stared down the two when they froze.

  
“You guys look like you saw a ghost,” Justin joked, walking behind the bar and grabbing himself a bottle of beer. The two faked a small laugh as they continued their jobs.

  
Justin stalked over to Josh and placed his knobby fingers onto Josh’s hip, digging his fingernails deep into his skin. “Joshua, do you mind coming checking the storage room with me?” he asked, though Josh knew he didn’t have a choice on the matter.

  
He nodded and Justin led him by hand towards the storage closet. Once they were both inside the room, Justin shut the door and locked it. Josh swallowed thickly as Justin pressed himself too close to Josh’s chest.

  
“So how was your shift Wednesday night?” Justin asked, seemingly calm as he smoothed Josh’s curls, the touch causing Josh’s muscles to stiffen.

  
“It w-was fine,” Josh answered, Justin pulling his hair when he stuttered.

  
“Then you have a perfectly good reason for why you closed up the bar two whole hours after you were suppose to, right?” Justin questioned, shoving Josh into the corner of the closet.

  
“Some guy drank a little too much and overstayed his welcome. I had to wait for his friend to come get him,” he explained. He couldn’t bother to lie, Justin seemed to always find out no matter what and things were always worst when that happened.

  
“Why didn’t you kick him out?” Justin growled.

  
“It didn’t feel like the right thing to do,” Josh confessed, clenching his hands into fists to prevent them from shaking.

  
Justin’s hand seemed to blur past Josh’s vision when it connected into his cheek, the impact blinding him with burning pain. Josh clutched his face as a cry escaped his lips, earning him another smack in the face.

  
“I don’t care what you felt like, I expect you to follow the rules I’ve set out for you, understand?” Justin lowered his voice as he stepped closer to Josh, pushing him against the wall. “Do you want to keep working here, Josh? You and I both know the police wouldn’t be very happy if they found out a nineteen year old runaway was working at a bar.”

  
“Please, don’t,” Josh whimpered. Panic swelled inside his chest and he could no longer stop the shaking in his hands.

  
Justin licked his lips hungrily and pressed his wet lips into Josh’s ear, making him quiver. “I love it when you beg,” he whispered. He stepped back and smirked. “I can’t let this pass, Josh. There has to be consequences. I’m cutting your paycheck in half.”

  
“No!” Josh protested, “No please, I’ll do anything, just please don’t. I need that money.” He knew he sounded pathetic, but he needed that money for Abby. Oreos wasn’t gonna suffice for the rest of the year.

  
Justin raised an eyebrow and bit down on his lip. “Anything?” he asked, pressing his chest against Josh’s. His fingers crawled down his body, gripping the inside of Josh’s thigh.

  
Josh choked on his breath as he stared into Justin’s lustful eyes. He nodded vigorously. “Anything,” he confirmed, swallowing the bile the was rising in his throat.

  
Justin stepped away from Josh and smiled. “We’ll take care of this after closing, okay?” Josh nodded and Justin unlocked the door. “I’m glad we could work this out, Josh.”

  
Josh began to focus his breathing once Justin left the storage closet, his lungs thirsting for air that he knew was there, but they couldn’t quite grasp. He squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to imagine what he was going to do. He couldn’t think about that, not right now.

  
After he was able to suppress the panic attack, he re-entered the front of the bar and helped Ashley prepare for opening.

 

 

 

  
Josh and Ashley shuffled quickly behind the counter, trying to keep up with the orders that were being shouted at them from across the bar. To Josh’s amazement, Ashley was somehow able to carry ten shot glasses in her two hands over to the other side of the bar.

  
“Hey princess! Where’s my beer?” some frat boy shouted at Josh from the end of the bartop. Josh rolled his eyes at the nickname and snatched a bottle from under the counter. He walked over the man whose body was larger than his head and pushed the bottle towards him.

  
He slid over to a woman with flaming red hair who was currently snapping her fingers at Josh. Josh fought a gag as her perfume flooded his senses. “Why can I get you?” he asked, coughing on the too sweet fragrance.

  
The woman pressed her arms into her chest, making her cleavage a bit more prominent through her lace shirt. “Well that depends, are you on the menu?” she bit down on her lip and Josh fought off the anxiety the action caused him.

  
“Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t swing that way,” he replied, bluntly. He pointed a thumb over at Ashley. “Try her instead, she’s got a thing for redheads.” The woman looked repulsed as Josh stalked off and sent Ashley towards her.

  
More people left and less people came in as the night dragged on. Josh felt exhaustion beginning to set in as he tried to stifle a yawn. He wanted to scream when he heard the front door open, until his eyes laid on familiar warm ones.

  
“Tyler?” he questioned as the doe-eyed boy sat down at one of the stools, seeming so out of place in the middle of a bar.

  
The fluffy haired boy smiled weakly. “Hey Josh,” he greeted, giving him a small wave.

  
“Not to be rude or anything, but why are you here?” Josh questioned, raising his eyebrows. “No offence, but you don’t really seem like the drinking type.”

  
Tyler chuckled. “I'm really not,” he admitted, “I just..it was a long day at work.”

  
Josh nodded understandingly. “I can get that,” he said, “so what can I get for ya?”

  
Tyler chewed his fingernails as his eyes surveyed the shelf with many different bottles. “Uh, I’ll just get whatever Brendon normally gets.”

  
Josh’s stared at him peculiarly. “Do you even know the kind of stuff that boy drinks? He's a monster with alcohol.”

  
“Yeah, I have no clue what he gets,” Tyler confessed, “I don't really know much about alcohol in general really.”

  
“Tyler, have you ever drank alcohol before?” Josh asked, cheekily. He chewed on the inside of his cheek to stop from smirking when Tyler shook his head shyly.

  
“I mean, unless the wine from communion counts - no, not really,” Tyler said, laughing under his breath.

  
“Well, I’m honoured to be the person to give you your first taste of alcohol,” Josh responded, reaching under the counter and grabbing a light beer. “Here, try this.”

  
Tyler popped off the cap and sniffed the drink, making his nose crinkle like a rabbit. “You're suppose to drink it, not smell it,” Josh laughed.

  
Tyler brought the rim of the bottle to his lips and barely swallowed a sip before falling into a coughing fit. “Oh my gosh, that's awful,” he sputtered, “why would anyone want to drink that?”

  
Josh shrugged. “Most people don't drink it for the taste,” he replied.

  
Tyler pushed the awful drink away from him and shook his head, letting out one last cough. “Yeah, I don’t think this whole alcohol thing is for me.”

  
“You want some water instead?” Josh asked.

  
“Please,” Tyler urged, making Josh laugh at how adorable he looked with his pouty lips and doe eyes.

  
Josh poured him a glass of water and watched him chug it like he had been traveling in the desert for years without any water. “So, what kind of job do you have?” Josh asked, leaning up against the bartop.

  
“I'm a nurse at St. Ruby hospital,” Tyler answered, “right now I’m under an apprenticeship with one of the trauma surgeons.”

  
“Wow, that's so sick,” Josh complimented, “I can only imagine the kind of shit you see.”

  
Tyler laughed and shook his head. “You have no idea,” he said, “one time a guy came in with a golf club impaled through his head.”

  
Josh’s eyes nearly fell out of his head with how wide they go. “You're kidding!” he gaped.

  
“I promise I'm not,” Tyler swore, “it was the weirdest thing! He was still talking and everything - he had no clue there was a putter sticking out of his forehead.”

  
Josh shivered at the thought. “That's intense - I don't think I could ever be a doctor.”

  
“It's definitely not for the faint of heart,” Tyler agreed, “so you work both here and the gas station?”

  
Josh nodded. “Yeah, neither pay great, but together they do alright,” he answered. “Not dream jobs, but they're jobs.”

  
“What did you want to be when you were younger?” Tyler asked, propping his elbow on the bar top and resting his chin on his knuckles.

  
“Well, when I was five, I wanted to own the largest kitten shelter in the world,” he said, making Tyler giggle. “Then I wanted to an astronaut, then a firefighter. And now I'm thinking that whole kitten shelter thing was a great idea.”

  
More giggles erupted from Tyler and Josh’s heart began to quicken. Oh no, Josh thought to himself, I'm so screwed.

  
“What about you?” Josh asked. “Did you want to be a doctor when you were younger?”

  
“Oh yeah, totally,” Tyler nodded, his eyes sparkling as he spoke. “I remember anytime one of my little siblings got hurt - even if it was just a paper cut - I would grab my little first aid kit and play operation on them.”

  
Josh smiled contently as he listened to Tyler speak. “How many siblings you got?” he asked, wanting to know everything about this boy.

  
“Three, two brothers and a sister,” Tyler answered, “what about you?”

  
“Uh, just two,” he swallowed, picking the skin around his nails. “An older and a younger sister.”

  
Conversation seemed to pass easily over the two boys, hardly a moment of silence between them. Even when there was, it wasn't awkward, but comfortable. Josh felt like he had known him Tyler for longer than a couple days.

  
As they talked, Josh learned as much as he could about the fluffy haired boy. He learned his last name was Joseph and was only twenty-three years old. He was homeschooled and graduated early, able to start nursing school sooner than most. Tyler played piano and ukulele and could even sing a little. His favorite colour was yellow and owned a lot of poetry books and vinyl records.

  
“Everything just sounds better on vinyl,” Tyler pressed, trying to convince the skeptic Josh. “Like, music was made to be played on a record player, not crappy car radios.”

  
Josh shrugged. “I would never know, I've never heard a vinyl being played before.”

  
Tyler gaped at the pink haired boy. “Really? I'm gonna have to have you listen one day,” he said, his voice still in disbelief.

  
“Are you now?” Josh teased, making Tyler’s cheeks turn rosy.

  
“I-I mean, unless you don't want to,” Tyler blushed, gazing down at the floor.

  
“No, I want to,” Josh assured, smiling softly. “Plus, I've been wondering how Brendon was doing.”

  
A vibrating noise went off suddenly and Tyler dug through his pocket, pulling out his phone. “Speak of the devil,” he muttered. He sighed and stood up from the bar stool. “Sorry, but I should probably get going, Brendon’s probably already managed to trash my apartment during the hours I've been gone today.”

  
Josh laughed and nodded understanding. “Nah, it’s fine man. From what I've seen from Brendon, I wouldn't trust him alone for longer than an hour either.”

  
Tyler grinned. “I'll see you around, yeah?”

  
“Yeah,” Josh nodded as he watched Tyler walk through the door.

  
After the last few customers left the bar, Josh turned off the neon sign that flashed ‘OPEN.’ Him and Ashley began cleaning up the bar whilst Justin counted and checked the money box.

  
Once he was done, Justin put the money box in the back , and came up behind Ashley, placing a hand on her shoulder.

  
“You can go ahead and head home, Ashley,” Justin said, “Josh and I have some business to manage.”

  
Actually stared at Josh with uncertainty, but eventually left through the back anyway. When she was out of the building, Justin slithered closer to Josh.

  
He hooked a thumb around Josh’s belt loop and bucked his hips against Josh’s. He grabbed a fistful of Josh’s hair and pulled his face close to his, biting down on the lobe of Josh’s ear.

  
“Anything, right?” Justin whispered, his voice wet against Josh’s neck and he bent the younger boy over the bar top.

  
Josh whimpered and blinked away tears as Justin guided Josh’s hand towards his groin. “Anything.”

 

 

  
Josh shuffled out of the bar as quickly as he could, his lips swollen and cheeks blotchy with tears. His scalp still burned from when Justin pulled too hard.

  
Climbing into his car, Josh winced as he sat down and pain radiated from his lower back. He wiped away any remaining tears as he started up the car.

  
The drive from the bar to the overpass seemed much longer than usual. Parking in front of the bridge, Josh rubbed his palm over his face and attempted to look okay. He didn't want Abby to worry over him.

  
Abby would hate him if she ever found out.

  
Josh jumped out of the car and made his way towards the bridge. He spotted two figures by the fire and walked over to them.

  
“Hey Abbs, Hayley,” Josh greeted, his voice sounding foreign in his ears.

  
Abby lifted her head from its spot in Hayley’s lap and gave Josh a crinkly smile. “Hey, why you back so late?” she asked, blinking sleepily.

  
“Just a long night at the bar tonight,” Josh excused, hoping she wouldn't press further.

  
She didn't. “That sucks,” she pouted. Her amber eyes squinted at Josh and she tilted her head to the side. “Are you alright? You look like you were crying.”

  
Josh waved off her concern. “I wasn't,” he lied through his teeth. “I'm fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy both the chapters for today! If you do, let me know! You all have been so lovely in the comments and reading them always makes my day! <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a nice and short semi-fluffy filler chapter for today. I thought I owed some fluff after the last chapter

The smell of cinnamon and popcorn filled Tyler’s senses when he stepped into his apartment after leaving the bar.  Warmth overflowed in his chest at the scent and locked the front door as he peered around the room.

 

Tyler followed the smell and ended up in the kitchen.  There he found Brendon, who was pouring warm milk into two mugs of cocoa powder.  The microwave hummed quietly in the background, popcorn popping loudly inside.  At the sound of Tyler entering the room, Brendon turned around and flashed him a warm smile.

 

“Hey Ty-guy,” he chirped, handing Tyler one of the mugs, cinnamon and chocolate swirling deliciously  inside it.  The microwave beeped and Brendon pulled out the hot bag of popcorn, pouring it into a bowl.

 

Tyler cupped the mug carefully as he swallowed the sweet drink, shivering as the warm liquid travelled down his throat.  “Wow, uh, thanks Bren,” Tyler said, licking chocolate off his lips.  “What is all this for?”

 

“Considering we both had pretty rough days today, I thought we should treat ourselves,” Brendon explained, placing the popcorn bowl between the two of them.

 

Tyler raised an eyebrow.  “How’d you know I had a bad day?” he asked, shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

 

“You went to a bar, Ty - by yourself.  You must have had a pretty shit day to warrant a visit to a bar for your innocent soul,” Brendon replied.  “Though you couldn’t have drank that much, you don’t even seem buzzed.”

 

Tyler smiled sheepishly.  “Well that’s because I ended up gagging after one sip of beer,” he said, staring into his mug to avoid looking at Brendon. 

 

Brendon bursted into a fit of cackles and giggles.  “Oh Tyler, that’s just sad,” he laughed, making Tyler punch him in the shoulder.  “Okay, okay - so, if you weren’t drinking, why were you there for so long?” Brendon asked. 

 

“Oh, I just ended up talking to Josh the whole time,” he answered as Brendon threw a piece of popcorn into Tyler’s mouth.

 

“The bartender?” Brendon asked, which Tyler nodded in reply.  “I could have sworn his name was Jim or something like that.”  

 

Tyler snorted and shook his head.  “I don’t think a name like Jim would suit him very well,” Tyler said, “sounds like a name a guy with an office job would have.”

 

Brendon rolled his eyes.  “So, what did you guys talk about for two whole hours?” he asked, resting his elbows on the counter and sipping his hot cocoa as he listened to Tyler.

 

Tyler shrugged.  “Different things here and there,” he stated, “I learned he loves oldies music, but has never listened to vinyl.  He’s dyed his hair five different colours and he liked blue the most because it’s his favourite colour.  He also believes in aliens and he wanted to be an astronaut because he wanted to be friends with them.  He’s got two sisters and his smile was so cute as he talked about them - his eyes got all crinkly and -”  Tyler paused as Brendon began to laugh.  

 

“What?” Tyler asked, scrunching his eyebrows together.

 

“Tyler has a crush,” Brendon said in a sing-song voice. 

 

He poked Tyler’s side as he continued to tease the poor boy.  “Josh and Tyler sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-” Brendon stopped abruptly as Tyler flicked his forehead.  “Did you just  _ flick me _ ?” he asked, offended.

 

“I do not have a crush on him,” Tyler denied, ignoring Brendon’s last sentence.  “I’ve only known him a few days - this isn’t some kind of disney movie or fanfiction.”

 

“So you’re gonna tell me you don’t think he’s cute?” Brendon questioned, folding his arms over his chest.

 

“I mean, of course I think he’s attractive,” Tyler pressed, tossing a couple pieces of popcorn into his mouth.  “I think you’re attractive, but that doesn’t mean anything.”

 

“Look Tyler, you’re nice and all, but you’re not really my type,” Brendon joked.

 

Tyler faked offense and clutched his chest dramatically.  “What do you mean I’m not your type?  You’d be lucky to have a catch like me, Urie.” 

 

Brendon chuckled and gulped down half his hot chocolate.  A comfortable silence sat over the two as they sipped their hot drinks and nibbled on popcorn.  Tyler sat on top of the counter and swung his legs back and forth, occasionally kicking Brendon.  

 

“So, what was your bad day about?” Tyler asked, licking his teeth as he attempted to loosen pieces of popcorn stuck in between.

 

“Sarah called and asked me to come over to get my stuff,” Brendon answered, the tone of his voice suddenly shifting.  He tapped his fingers against the counter as he stared down at the ground.

 

Tyler hesitated.  “And how did that go?” 

 

Brendon shrugged his shoulders lamely.  “Not that bad, I guess.  It was just so awkward, ya know?  And then having to see the house emptied of all my stuff was just awful.  Everything became so real all of a sudden.” 

 

“What sucked the most was seeing just how tired and unhappy she looked,” Brendon admitted.  “Like, I’ve been seeing this almost like a silver lining - my ticket out.  But on her side of things, this is just a complete situation.  She’s getting nothing out of this, just heartache and hardship.”

 

“Do you think Sarah still loves me?” Brendon asked.

 

“I don’t know,” Tyler answered, uselessly.  He bit down on his fingernails as he met eyes with Brendon.  Tyler really wanted to make it better - he just didn’t know how.

 

“Did you still love Jenna after she cheated on you?” Brendon asked, his words reluctant.  

 

Tyler thought for a moment.  “No,” he settled on.  “For a long time I thought I did - I mean, why would it hurt so bad if I didn’t love her?  I thought I did something wrong every time I thought about it.  What did I do to make her do that?  Maybe I wasn’t enough for her, maybe I didn’t treat her the way she deserved.”

 

“But then I realized there was nothing I could’ve done.  She made her own decisions and I couldn’t do anything about that.  And that’s what hurt - and I just couldn’t love someone who hurt me like that anymore.” 

 

Brendon nodded as Tyler’s words sank in.  “You must think I’m a pretty shitty person, huh?” Brendon asked, trying to make his tone light, but Tyler knew the question was genuine.

 

“No, I don’t think you’re a shitty person - just like I don’t think Jenna is either,” Tyler answered, truthfully.  “I think you’re both human beings that made shitty mistakes - like most humans do.”  Tyler hoped his words comforted Brendon in some sort of way.

 

“So,” Brendon coughed awkwardly, which Tyler expected.  Brendon had never been a fan of intimate moments like this.  “What made your day shit today?”

 

“Funny enough, it was Jenna,” Tyler began, a bitter laugh accompanying his words.  “She tried talking to me today.”

 

“What for?” Brendon asked, hopping up onto the counter next to Tyler.

 

“She said she misses me,” Tyler answered, “not romantically - at least, I don’t think so.  I just don’t understand, it’s been six months.  Why is she suddenly trying to apologize and come back in my life?”

 

“Do you want her back in your life?” Brendon asked, wrapping an arm around Tyler’s shoulders.  Tyler leaned into his embrace and allowed himself to relax a little.

 

“I don’t think I can let her back in - even if I wanted to, it’s just still so raw.  It’s like a festering wound desperately trying to heal and every time I see her, speak to her, or  _ even just hear her name _ , the wound just gets deeper and harder to heal,” Tyler expressed, staring at the lights that hung from the ceiling, making a kaleidoscope of colours appear whenever he closed his eyes.

Brendon sighed and combed his fingers through Tyler’s hair.  “We’re a couple of fucked up, broken people, huh?” 

  
Tyler nodded and laughed.  “Yeah, but that’s okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy it! I know it's a lot shorter than the last few, but I don't see any point in dragging this kind of stuff out just to make a certain word count. If you liked it, leave a comment! I love reading them and they always make my day <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to That Home / To Build a Home by Cinematic Orchestra whilst writing this and almost starting crying - I'm too deep guys.

_ Three years ago _

  
  


Silence sat uncomfortably in the upstairs bathroom as Josh lifted Abby onto the counter.  Mascara made streaks down her face as Josh hurriedly rummaged through the cabinet under the sink.  He pulled out the first aid kit and set it down on the counter. 

 

Josh opened the small container and pulled out alcohol swabs.  He pushed away strands of hair from her face and inspected the cuts.  

 

“It doesn’t look too deep - definitely not deep enough to get stitches,” Josh said as he grabbed a damp washcloth  and wiped away the excess blood on her face.  

 

Abby sighed in relief as Josh tore open the package of alcohol wipes.  “This is going to sting,”  he warned as he slowly brought the wipe up to her face.  She winced painfully when it touched the first cut, but kept quiet while Josh cleaned the rest of the cuts.

 

“He went too far this time, Abby,” Josh spoke in a hushed voice, venom dripping from his words.  He clenched his jaw as he watched more tears fall from his sister’s eyes.

 

“Please don’t be upset, Josh,” Abby begged, brokenly and quietly.  

 

Anger flared in Josh’s dark eyes as he snatched a few bandage out of the first aid.  “He came at you with a  _ knife,  _ Abby,” he snapped, “you’re lucky you only got a few cuts.”

 

“He’s just upset,” Abby defended, weakly, as Josh began placing the bandages over her cuts. 

 

“Why do you keep defending him?” Josh questioned, raising his voice.  He closed the first aid kit and put it back into the cabinet.  He stepped away from Abby and leaned against the wall, staring at her in disbelief.  “He literally could have just killed you - how can you even excuse that?”

 

“He’s grieving Josh, you have to cut him some slack,” she said, folding her arms over her chest as she stared down at her brother.  “He lost  _ his son _ .”

 

“Yeah and we lost a brother - you don’t see me waving a knife at you,” Josh spat, running frantic fingers through his red hair.  “We can’t stay here anymore, Abbs.”

 

Abby’s eyebrows narrowed in together.  “What are you saying?” she asked, her eyes flooded with confusion and fear.

 

“We have to leave, Abby.  We can’t live here anymore - it’s not safe, not with him here,” Josh said, trying to stress his words out to her.  He just needed her to understand.  

 

“You’re not honestly suggesting we runaway,” Abby laughed uncomfortably, but stopped when she looked at Josh’s stone cold face.  “You can’t be serious - we can’t runaway Josh!  How would we even survive?”

 

“I have some money we can live on until I’m able to get a job, we can stay in the car mom gave me - I know it’s scary Abby, but we can do it,” Josh replied, gently taking Abby’s hands and giving her an assuring squeeze.

 

“Josh, you’re overreacting!  It was one incident!  We don’t have to do this,” Abby argued, shaking Josh’s hands off, making his chest burn. 

 

“One incident?  This isn’t the first time he’s hurt either one of us - this is just the first time he took it too far,” Josh shouted, “you could’ve died tonight, Abby.”

 

“But I didn’t,” Abby replied, stubbornly. 

 

“But what about next time, Abby?” Josh asked, his voice breaking as his hands began to shake.  “You and I both know this isn’t going to be the last time, so what happens when he does this again?  What am I supposed to do when he manages to get in more than a few cuts in?  What are you gonna do if he aims for me next time? I can’t keep living in this constant fear everyday.”  

 

Josh wanted to claw his insides out as the devastation of everything began to swallow him.  He gasped out quiet sobs that rattled his bones and he bit down on his knuckles, trying to muffle the cries.  

 

Abby miserably watched her brother, unsure of how to comfort him.  “But what about mom?  I don’t want to leave her here.”

 

Josh scoffed in between tears.  “She’s just as bad as him,” he stated, viciously.  “What kind of mother watches as her children get beaten to near death?”

 

Abby shuddered at his words and sighed in defeat.  She pulled the older boy into her arms and he rested his chin on top her head as she clutched onto his shirt.  “Okay, we’ll go.” 

 

Josh gasped out a watery laugh in disbelief.  “Really?”

 

She gave him the brightest of sad smiles.  “When do we leave?” she asked, forcing her voice into a happier tone.  

 

“We’ll leave in the morning, before anyone is awake, yeah?” he suggested, “so we need to pack what we can take right now.” 

 

She nodded and the two left the bathroom, both going off to their own rooms.  Josh walked over to his closet and pulled down a duffel bag.  He shoved in some clothes, toiletries, CDs, and a blanket into a bag.  He zipped up the bag and set his wallet and keys on top of it.

 

Once he was happy with his bag, he walked over to Abby’s room.  He sat down on her bed as he watched her throw things into her own bag.  He watched as she paused in front of her dresser and stared at one of the frame pictures that sat on top of it.  Josh gingerly crawled off the bed and walked up behind her to see the picture.

 

It was one they took on a camping trip a few years ago.  Mom and dad had their arms around one another, love that was now lost gleaming in their eyes.  Ashley had Abby on her back, hair falling in their face as the photo froze them in mid-laughter.  Josh stood next to them, Jordan sitting in his arms bridal style.

 

Josh choked on his own breath.

 

_ Jordan. _

 

“I miss him,” Abby sniffed, her fingers tracing over the picture.  “Home doesn’t feel like home without him in it.”

 

Josh wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed her temple.  “I miss him too,” Josh agreed, massaging his fingers into her hair.  

 

Josh wished Jordan was still around.  If he was here, none of this wouldn’t have happened.  If he was here, Josh wouldn’t have to take his fourteen year old sister away from the only home she has ever known. 

 

“You’re right,” Abby said, “we have to leave.  I can’t live in this house without him in it - it just doesn’t feel right.”  She patted Josh’s arms and he let go as she went back to packing. 

 

Josh sighed unhappily for his sister.  She had always been the closest to Jordan and was hit the hardest after he passed.  Maybe it was because she was Jordan’s only younger sibling.  From the day she was born, Jordan protected and loved her the best he could.  He would be the one to comfort her when she was upset, the one she’d smile and wave at during her school performances. He was everything to her, which was something Josh would never be able to replace.

 

“What time are we gonna leave?” she asked, wiping her eyes as she closed her bag and sat it down at the end of her bed.

 

“I was thinking around five,” Josh answered, nervously chewing on the skin around his nails.

 

Abby nodded and plopped down on the bed next to him, laying her head down in his lap.  His fingers naturally found their way towards her hair and began to play with.  She shut her eyes and curled her knees up to her chest. 

 

“I’m scared Josh,” Abby confessed, her voice low and hushed.  Josh used his thumb to wipe away the tears that flowed to her cheek. 

 

  
“Me too,” Josh admitted, “but it’s okay, we’ll be alright.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice little flashback chapter for today! I wanted to give some background on Josh and Abby's story and felt this was something that needed its own chapter. More details will be revealed through future chapters, I promise! Also, I've been wanting to make their ages clear since a few of you have been wondering about it.  
> Hope you guys enjoyed it! If you did, let me know! I love all your comments! 
> 
> Also! Here's a little link to a playlist of songs I've made for the story. I listen to it whilst writing and I thought you guys might like it!  
> https://open.spotify.com/user/cherryskittle/playlist/6DpIqm8Ag1mAOwnLVmi5mL


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another silly little filler chapter because i suck at writing angst for Tyler in this story

Tyler knew he might like Josh too much when he decided to spend his day off at the gas station just to hang out with him. 

 

Maybe he had a tiny crush on him, but he would never admit it to anyone - especially Brendon.

 

“I just don’t get how you can think the Beatles’  older stuff is better than their newer stuff,” Tyler commented, mouth full of chips that he was currently sharing with Josh.  

 

The other boy rolled his eyes playfully.  “It just sounds happier, more youthful,” Josh explained, his jaw clenching as he chewed on a piece of gum.  Tyler groaned inwardly - a person shouldn’t be allowed to look cute whilst smacking on gum.

 

“But that’s just it, isn’t it?” Tyler replied, “their newer stuff is more serious and has more purpose to it, ya know?  And then the music aspect of it sounds better as well with all the new instruments.  It just sounds fuller.”   
  


Josh laughed quietly and shook his head.  “Okay, I can tell there is no way I’m going to win this argument.  You’re too stubborn,” he retorted, throwing a chip at Tyler’s head. 

 

“Wow, you’ve only known me for a week and you already know me so well,” Tyler teased, picking the chip he threw off the counter and popping it into his mouth.  Josh laughed again, but the sound was a little weaker than Tyler was used to.  

 

Even though they’ve only known each other for a short period of time, Tyler felt like he knew Josh was fairly well.  And today, he knew something was off with the pink haired boy.  The bags under his warm eyes seemed more prominent and his face was a little gaunt.  His eyes seemed glazed over, like he wasn’t actually there.

 

But Tyler knew it wasn’t his place to say - not yet at least.  Tyler was still practically a stranger to Josh, he couldn’t just ask him to tell him his deepest and darkest secrets. 

 

“Okay, how about this: N’sync or Backstreet Boys?” Tyler asked, keeping his face as straight and serious as possible.  A round of giggles bursted from Josh’s chest and the sound made Tyler’s heart flutter a little.

 

_ Just a little. _

 

“Definitely Backstreet Boys,” Josh answered, attempting to be as serious as Tyler, but failing miserably as another laugh escaped his lips. 

 

Tyler gasped and clutched his chest dramatically.  “Josh, how could you?  How could you hurt me like this?” he asked, feigning offense. 

 

Josh shrugged and smiled his first genuine smile of the day.  “You asked my opinion and I gave it.  Sorry to disappoint.”

A moment of silence came and settled between the two as they shared fond looks and the remaining chips in the small bag.  Tyler swung his legs out of habit as Josh picked at his nails.  Tyler couldn’t help but notice the scabbing around his nails from the excessive picking and pulling he did to the skin.

 

“So Josh,” Tyler started, swinging his body over so that he was fully facing the other boy.

 

“So Tyler,” Josh replied, a small giggle following his words.  

 

“If we’re gonna do this whole friendship thing I think I’m gonna need to know more about you than the fact your favourite colour is blue and you have shitty taste in Beatles music,” Tyler said, making Josh snort.

 

Josh leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.  “Well who said I even wanted to be friends with you?” he challenged, jokingly. 

 

Tyler rolled his eyes.  “I’m a fairly annoying person, Josh - if you didn’t want to stick around, you would’ve left already.”  Tyler spoke lightly, but he knew there was still some truth to his self-deprecating words.

 

Josh’s eyes soften as he looked at Tyler.  “I don’t think you’re annoying,” he said, a small smile forming on his soft lips.  “Anyway - what is it that you wanna know?”

 

“Why’d you get a job as a bartender?” Tyler asked, having a soft spot for family within himself.  

 

Josh’s face seem to fall a little at the question, but like a switch, he recovered with an artificial smile.  “Well, it definitely wasn’t because I had any aspirations to be a bartender,” Josh said, “but the bar was looking to hire and I just really needed the money.”

 

“How come?” Tyler asked, carefully. 

 

“I’d just moved out with my sister and I was having trouble supporting both of us,” Josh answered, simply.  Tyler found it odd how he wouldn’t quite meet Tyler’s eyes as he spoke. 

 

“Oh so you live with your sister?” Tyler replied, twirling his hair nervously.  He was terrified he may say something wrong or ask the wrong thing and make Josh run away.  “Is it Abby or Ashley?”  Tyler hoped he remembered their names correctly. 

 

“The younger one - Abby,” Josh confirmed, his expression becoming softer and his eyes becoming a little brighter at the thought of his sister.  Tyler thought it was adorable. 

 

“What about you, Tyler?” Josh asked, quickly shifting the conversation away from him.  “Do you still live with any family members?  Or do you have a roommate?”

 

“Nah, I live on my own in the apartments a few streets over,” Tyler said, “though, right now Brendon is crashing at my place while he’s still figuring what he’s gonna do.” 

“How’s he doing?” Josh asked, genuine concern lacing his voice.  

 

“He’s alright, at the moment, but I don’t think it’s gonna last very long,” Tyler answered, playing with a piece of loose thread on his hoodie.  

 

Josh pulled his eyebrows in together.  “What do you mean?” he questioned.

 

Tyler pulled in breath through his teeth and sighed.  “The thing with Brendon is that he just kinda pushes problems to the side until he’s forced to deal with them.  It’s liking he’s pouring water into a dam - it’ll be okay for awhile, but the damn will eventually break.”

 

Josh’s expression saddened and he nodded understandingly.  “I wish I could give some sort of helpful advice, but I’m honestly the last person to be doing that,” Josh spoke truthfully, making Tyler chuckle a little. 

 

The two shifted the conversation back over to albums and continued so for almost an hour.  The two were arguing over what the best song on  _ Transatlanticism  _ was when a man with a bush of brown curly hair walked into the gas station.

 

Josh looked up at the clock when he saw the man enter.  “Man, is it really five already?” Josh asked, surprised as he stared at the hands on the clock. 

 

The man nodded.  “Yup,” he said, popping the ‘p.’  “Now get outta here, Dun, you’re working on my dime if you spend a minute here longer.”

 

Josh turned his attention back over to Tyler.  “It’s the end of my shift,” he explained, making Tyler feel a little less confused. 

 

“Oh, okay, I should probably be heading home then,” Tyler said, joining Josh’s side as the two walked out of the gas station.  

 

“Seeya Joe!” Josh called to the curly haired man as he pushed open the door and walked into the parking lot. 

 

Tyler watched Josh walk over to a dingy looking green car and shove a key into the car door.  Josh looked back up at Tyler and pulled his eyebrows in together.  “Are you walking home?” he asked, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy. 

 

“Yeah,” Tyler called back, shoving his hands into his hoodie’s pocket. 

 

“You want me to give you a ride?” Josh offered.

 

Tyler hesitated.  He normally hated asking favours from people, but he wanted to spend as much time with Josh as he possibly could.  “Sure,” Tyler agreed, walking over to the old car.  

 

Josh unlocked the passenger side and opened the door for Tyler.  “Such a gentleman,” Tyler teased as he climbed into the small car. 

 

Josh rolled his eyes as he shut the door and hopped in on his side.  He threw on his seatbelt and started up the car.  Once the car turned on, the familiar sound of surf rock filled the speakers of the car. 

 

_ I came along when he broke your heart _

_ That’s when you needed someone _

_ To help forget about him  _

 

Tyler laughed under his breath as he listened to the sweet harmonies of the song.  “Why am I not surprised?” he asked as Josh pulled out 

 

“Hey, don’t hate,” Josh defended, “this is my sister’s favourite album.”

 

“Why is it her favourite?” Tyler asked, curiously.  Tyler believed a person’s favourite song or album told a lot about them.  

 

Josh smiled fondly as a memory seemed to come to his mind.  “So when we were younger, my mom would always take us to this little ice cream shop near our house.  And every time we went in there, the owner was  _ always  _ playing this album.  My sister became so obsessed with it, she refused to listen to anything but songs from that album for almost a year.”

 

Tyler rested his cheek on his hand and smiled to himself as he listened to Josh tell his story.  “That’s adorable,” he commented, enjoying the way Josh’s eyes seemed to sparkle without fail whenever he talked about his sister.

 

Josh nodded and smiled as he turned the car around the block.  “It’s this apartment building right here, right?” he asked, driving slow through the street in front of the building.

 

“Yeah,” Tyler hummed, as Josh parked the car in front of the sidewalk.  

 

Josh unlocked the car and gave Tyler a small smile as he climbed out of the car.  “I’ll see ya around, yeah?” 

 

Tyler’s eyes gazed to the ground shyly.  “Yeah, unless you wanna come in?” he suggested, regretting the words the second they left his lips.  He probably sounded so desperate.

 

Josh’s face fell and Tyler wanted to punch himself in the face.  “I would - I really would, but I have to get home to my sister,” Josh replied, seeming genuinely sadden.  “I’m really sorry.”

 

“It’s fine, I totally understand,” Tyler said, reassuringly.  “You just owe me for next time, right?” Tyler winked, playfully.  

 

Josh laughed.  “Totally, I’ll see what I can do for next time.”

 

Tyler smiled and nodded.  “Then I’ll see you around.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really sure how I feel about this chapter, but I hope you guys enjoyed it! I probably won't do this switching POVs every other chapter from now on because I find it easier to progress the story through Josh's POV than Tyler's POV. I'll still have Tyler's POV in chapters when needed, but from now on, the story will most likely be from Josh's POV.  
> I'll be posting a few more chapters as this week continues (though I don't know if they will be daily this week), but I will be taking a break next week since it's my birthday next week (yay!) and also, Christmas. But I will be writing for the story when I get a chance to! I'm hoping to map out how I want the rest of the story will go so I have a better structure to go off of. 
> 
> So let me know what you think in the comments! Whether you enjoyed it or want to give me some critic, any feedback is good feedback! <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting for a couple days, I was busy
> 
> Trigger warning for panic attacks, stay safe frens <3

The smell of burning wood and whatever the hell Pete and Hayley were smoking filled the air around them.  Patrick laid his head in Pete’s lap and watched him blow smoke rings.

 

“I don’t understand how you’re able to do those,” Hayley said, staring at the foggy rings as they escaped Pete’s lips.

 

“I guess I’ve just got a talent for blowing things,” Pete winked, passing the joint to the redhead.  Patrick smacked him in the arm.

 

Hayley puffed out a cloud of smoke and shook her head.  “Oh calm down, Patrick, it’s not like we don’t know,” she said, “you definitely haven’t made any effort to be quiet about it.” 

 

Four out of the five of them bursted  into a round of laughs and giggles as the blood rushed up to Patrick’s cheeks.  “I hate you,” Patrick muttered, burying his head into Pete’s jacket.

 

“Awe, you can’t hate me,” Pete cooed, fingers tangling through Patrick’s hair.  Pete tilted Patrick’s head from his jacket and leaned down towards his face, pressing a tender kiss into Patrick’s chapped lips.

 

Patrick hummed happily as Pete pulled his lips away.  “ I guess you’re alright,” he smiled, lacing their fingers together. 

 

Abby smiled at the two lovebirds and rested her head on Josh’s shoulder.  “They’re cute together,” she commented, her dark eyes shining from the burning flames in front of her. 

 

“Yeah, they are,” Josh agreed, staring at the two share whispers and tiny kisses.  Josh could understand why Patrick would sacrifice and abandon a roof for Pete.  

 

“I can’t wait for you to have that,” Abby said, sighing dreamily.

 

Josh looked at her oddly.  “What do you mean?” he asked, puzzled.

 

Abby smiled cheekily.  “A little birdy told me there’s a boy you’ve been seeing,” she grinned, “a certain ‘Tyler’, I believe.” 

 

Josh made note to strangle Pete later  “I’m not actually seeing him, per say.” Josh denied, “we’re just friends, Abbs.”

 

“Do you want to be just friends?” Abby asked, curiously.

 

Josh shrugged.  “I don’t know,” he answered, “I mean, I’ve only known him for a little over a week, but I feel like I’ve known him longer, ya know?”

 

Abby nodded.  “Do you like him?” she continued to ask, making Josh smile.  In that moment, it was almost as if she was a regular teenage girl.

 

“Yeah,” Josh sighed, a dopey smile forming on his lips.  “He’s just amazing and seems so nice.”  Abby grinned more brightly as Josh gushed about Tyler.

 

_ ‘Justin seemed nice at first too,’  _ Josh’s brain oh-so nicely reminded him.

 

Josh quickly pushed the thought away and focused on Abby’s amber eyes as a wave of nausea passed over him.  “Is he cute?” she asked, her hair bouncing as she giggled excitedly.  The sight of his sister’s genuine smile made Josh’s chest warm.

 

“Oh yeah,” Josh hummed, nodding.  “He’s got the biggest doe-eyes ever, like they don’t even look real.  And he’s got this cute crooked smile and he has dimples and really fluffy hair.”  Abby smiled as she listen to her brother ramble.

 

“You should ask him about,” Abby suggested, beginning to bounce a little from the excitement. 

 

Josh snorted.  “With what money?” he asked.  Tyler was cute and all, but he wasn’t worth sacrificing nine months of savings.

 

Abby rolled her eyes.  “You don’t need money to go on a date,” she argued, “just two people who enjoy each other’s company.”   
  


“Wow Abbs, never took you as a romantic,” Josh teased, poking Abby in the side.

 

Abby giggled and poked him back.  “The point is, Josh, “ she began, grabbing Josh’s hands and swinging them back and forth.  “Don’t let something ridiculous like money get in the way of you being happy, okay?”

 

_ ‘But what about your happiness?”’  _ Josh thought. 

 

“We’ll see, okay?” Josh replied, giving her hand a quick squeeze.

 

Abby nodded and scooted closer to him.  “So tell me more about Tyler,” she said, propping her elbows on her knees and resting her chin on her fist. “Like, how did you guys meet?”

 

“You know that one dude Brendon from the bar?” Josh asked, “I’ve told you about him before, I believe.”

 

“Was he the guy who tried backflipping off the table and ended up on his ass?” she asked, laughing as she recalled the story.

 

Josh laughed and nodded.  “Yup, that’s the one,” he confirmed, “well, he got completely shitfaced last week and Tyler was the friend who had to take him home.”

 

“And it was love at first sight, right?” Abby joked, making Josh roll his eyes playfully.  

 

“Anyway, the next day he ended up at the gas station buying some Advil - probably for a  hungover Brendon,” Josh continued on.

 

“Wow, two meetings within barely two days?” Abby said, “it’s obviously fate pushing you two together - it’s destiny.”   
  


“Nah, I don’t believe in destiny,” Josh disagreed.

 

Abby frowned.  “Why not?”

 

“It takes the value of choice away, don’t ya think?” Josh replied, “like, what’s the point in me doing anything if everything is controlled by a higher power?  Do we really have any choice in anything if everything was already met to be? I guess I just don’t like the thought of not having control over my own life and decisions.”

 

“That makes sense, I guess, but when you look back and think of certain things - some things in your life wouldn’t have happened if one thing didn’t happen first,” Abby argued, “if we hadn’t run away three years ago, you probably would have never met Tyler.” 

 

Abby’s words sunk into Josh’s head and made him uncomfortable.  “Maybe some things are meant to be, but not all things,” he compromised. 

 

Abby nodded and opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a yawn.  “Tired?” Josh asked, chuckling.  

 

“Yeah, we should probably go to sleep,” Abby stated, standing up and pulling Josh up with her.

 

They walked over to their corner of the shelter together, the sight of the cots bringing comfort to Josh.  He wasn’t sure if it was a good thing that he was growing comfortable with their makeshift home.

 

Josh and Abby had the largest section of the shelter since they were the only ones with two cots.  Each section was surrounded by cardboard walls and had a bucket.  Everything else was up to “personal decoration choice” , as Pete had put it.  For their section, they merely had blankets and the content of their two bags thrown around.

 

Josh sat down on the old, creaky (most likely stolen) cot and peeled off his shoes.  Abby stood in front of him and leaned down, pressing a kiss into his hair,

 

“Night Josh,” she said, laying down in the cot and snuggling into her raggedy blanket.

 

“G’night Abby,” Josh yawned, curling on his side and pulling his blanket over his head.  He shut his eyes and let the horror of oblivion overwhelm him.

  
  
  


The sound of light breathing seeped into Josh’s subconscious as he found himself in the bar’s storage closet.  He was cowering in the corner of the room, knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped protectively around his head.

 

Banging from the door echoed through the room, making Josh’s ears ring.  He tried to inhale a breath of air, but something blocked the oxygen’s path.  It felt like something was wrapped around his throat.  Josh clawed at his throat, trying to remove the invisible chains as the taste of blood surrounded his mouth. 

 

Josh forced his eyes open and his body went rigid, refusing to move.  His lungs felt hollow and empty of any air.  Shadows moved in the corner of his eyes, blurry and out of focus.  They slithered towards Josh and grabbed his shoulders, forcibly shaking him side to side.

 

Josh couldn’t tell if he was awake or asleep.  Everything moved in slow motion and images flashed through his mind.  He still couldn’t breathe and the taste of blood was still there and  _ why can’t he move. _

 

“ _ Wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up _ ,” Josh’s conscious urged, his arms and legs becoming cold and tingly. 

 

Josh’s vision cleared and he gasped violently as his lungs were filled suddenly.  Something was still shaking his shoulders, but the movement was gentler this time.  However, the touch was still enough to make Josh jump out of his skin and roll onto the floor.

 

“Josh?” a concern laced voice asked, amidst the fog that clouded Josh’s head.

 

The voice pulled Josh back into the present of reality and he was met with worried amber eyes as the fog dissipated.  “Abby?” Josh asked, puzzled and dazed.  He cringed at how small his voice sounded.

 

Abby crawled over to Josh and threw his blanket over his shivering shoulders.  She sat across from him on the floor and clasped her hand around Josh’s.

 

“Did you have a bad dream?” she asked, rubbing her thumb soothingly over Josh’s hand.  

 

“It was nothing,” Josh tried, his voice breaking.  His skin crawled as if a thousand spiders were walking all over him, making him want to claw at his skin till the feeling seized.

 

“Don’t even try that with me, Josh,” Abby rolled her eyes, but still gave him a loving and assuring smile.  “Something’s wrong and I just want to help.”

 

Josh’s hands began to shake and a lump in his throat prevented him from speaking.  He shook his head vigorously as he tried to rapidly blink away any tears that dare to form.

 

“Please Abby,” Josh gasped out, his words barely audible.  “ _ I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t -  _ please, I can’t do it, I just can’t.”  Josh wished he could be of more use to Abby, but he just couldn’t.  He wrapped his arms over his pounding head and rocked back and forth as he continued his mantra. 

 

“Okay, okay,” Abby tried to quickly reassure, “you don’t have to tell me - it’s okay, Josh.”  She hurriedly shuffled over to Josh and sat behind him, wrapping her arms around his chest and squeezing him tightly.  

 

The touch made even more panic rush into Josh’s veins and he struggled under her grasp.  “It’s okay, Josh, you’re okay,” Abby hummed, her voice vibrating into Josh’s back.  He tried to relax under her touch but warning signals and red flags continued to wash over him like a wave.  

 

“How about we try counting, yeah?  Do you think you can do that?” Abby asked, making sure her own breathing was steady.  She kept herself calm even as Josh clawed at her arms, causing the skin to break.  

 

‘ _ No _ ,’ Josh thought, but nodded anyway. 

 

“Okay, just repeat after me, alright?” she said, “one.”   
  


Josh tried to echo her, but only wheezes came out of his throat and he continued to sob.  “It’s okay, Josh, take your time.  It’s okay.” 

 

“O-one,” Josh repeated, still digging his nails into Abby’s arms.

 

“Perfect, that was perfect,” Abby cheered on, “okay, let’s go to two.”   
  


“Two.”   
  


“Okay, no three.”

 

“Three.”

 

“Four.”

 

“Four,” 

 

“Five.”

 

“Five,” Josh continued, his hands slowly seizing from Abby’s arms.  His chest still burned and he could feel his heartbeat in his skull.

 

“You’re halfway there, you’re doing great,” Abby praised, ignoring the stinging in her arms.  “Six.”

 

“Six.”

 

“Seven.”

 

“Seven,” Josh breathed out, the rise and fall of chest slowing down.  

“Eight.”

 

“Eight.”

 

“You’re almost there,” Abby forced a smile, “nine.”

 

“Nine.”

 

“And ten.”

 

“Ten,” Josh finished, still feeling the small buzz that panic attacks normally left him.  Abby released her grasp on his chest and sat back in front of him.  Josh stared at the red lines that covered his sister’s arms.

 

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault,” Abby quickly reassured before Josh could even open his mouth to apologize.  “It doesn’t even hurt, I promise.” 

 

“I’m sorry,” Josh choked out, not feeling satisfied with those two words.  No words could tear away the guilt that ate the inside of his stomach and made him want to rip out his insides. 

 

“There is absolutely no need to apologize, okay? This isn’t your fault - it’s not something you can control,” Abby continued to press.  Josh didn’t deserve her.

 

“You shouldn’t have to deal with this,” Josh argued, biting down on his lip to keep it from quivering.  He really was pathetic.

 

“Hey, you’re my brother - I want to “deal with this.”  I wanted to the first time, and I still want to be there for you now,” Abby said, smiling softly.  Josh shuddered as he remembered the first panic attacks he got after Jordan died.  

 

Josh nodded, the guilt still sitting heavy inside him.  “Thank you,” he spoke in a hushed voice, pulling at the scabs that surrounded his fingernails.

 

“I know you don’t want to talk about it - and that’s okay, but just know I’m always here for you if you ever change your mind,” Abby smiled.

 

Josh nodded and slowly letting  himself rest his head her lap, swallowing the panic his brain tried to hand him.  ‘ _ It’s just Abby, you’re safe _ ,’ he tried to assure himself. 

 

“Thank you,” he repeated, only flinching slightly as Abby combed her fingers through his hair. 

 

Abby hummed in reply and Josh allowed himself to relax under  the soothing feeling of her nails on his scalp.  “Will you sing for me, Abbs?” he asked, wanting to kick himself for how childish he sounded for asking that.

 

She smiled tenderly.  “Of course.” 

 

“ _ Underneath the stars of an honest sky _

_ We’ll love and keep on loving. _

_ Lay your guard down honey, we’re just here for a little while. _

_ In the morning, will you be mine? _ _   
_

_ In the morning will you be mine?” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a really hard chapter for me to write. Though I have never experienced what Josh has experienced, I have gone through - and still do - night terrors and severe panic attacks and I did have to pull from those experiences to write this chapter and it definitely made me really emotional. I really hope I was able to convey the emotions I was trying to get across, cause I know I got a little teary whilst writing it.   
> If you enjoyed the chapter, please give me feedback! As you guys know, I absolutely love going through your comments <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for rape and depersonalization   
> Stay safe frens xx

_ One week later _

 

Josh stared at the bar through his car window for God knows how long Tuesday night.  He knew he should probably get out or he’d be late, but he just couldn’t.  Justin usually came on Tuesdays to check up on the bar and the last thing Josh wanted to do was be in the same room as him again.

 

Peering over at the clock on his car radio, the small ‘4:54’ in the corner of the screen taunted him.  Another wave of dread washed over him and he scrubbed his face with his hand.  Despite his mind’s protest, he forced himself out of the car and walked over to the back of the bar.  He unlocked the door and entered the back room.  He peeled off his coat and set his wallet and keys down with it.  

 

“Oh good you’re here,” he heard a voice say from the doorway.  His muscles went stiff and he froze in his position.  “I was beginning to think you weren’t gonna show up tonight.” 

 

Josh clenched his teeth and refused to look up.  His thoughts urged him to run away as he heard footsteps come closer to him, but he remained still.  “Don’t you know it’s rude to ignore someone when they’re speaking to you?” Justin asked, coming right behind Josh.  He grabbed Josh’s wrist and dug his nails into his skin. 

 

“Look.  At.  Me,” Justin demanded, painfully tugging on Josh’s arm and forcing him to turn around.  Josh swallowed thickly as he stared into Justin’s cold blue eyes. His mouth curled into a smile and his fingers traced down Josh’s cheeks, making their way to his lips.  “I just love looking at those talented lips of yours.”

 

“How about we meet after closing tonight again, yeah?” Justin said, his arms slithering around Josh’s waist and pulling him closer, making their chests press together.  Josh hoped he couldn’t feel his staggering heartbeat. 

 

“Please, no,” Josh pleaded, pathetically.  The adrenaline that was rushing through his veins told him to fight and run as far away from possible, but he didn’t.  The energy sat still and caused his arms and hands to shake. 

 

“Oh baby, you know I love it when you beg,” Justin grinned, pressing his thumb into bruises that were still struggling to heal.

 

“What the fuck are you doing?” a voice spoke from behind them. 

 

Justin took his hands off Josh and spun around.  Ashley stood in the doorway of the back entrance, fury and confusion blazing in her hazel eyes.  Justin quickly composed himself and gave her a friendly smile.  “Huh?  Oh, we were just chatting,” Justin lied, “weren’t we, Josh?” 

 

Josh winced as Justin dug his shoe into Josh’s foot and quickly nodded.  “Y-yeah, we were,” he stuttered, making Justin remove his foot.

 

“Looked like a lot more than just talking,” Ashley accused, narrowing her eyes at Justin.  

 

Justin shrugged.  “Whatever you say, Ash,” he said, nonchalant.  He walked over to the entrance to the bar.  “I’m gonna go unlock the front.”  

 

Once he was out of sight, Ashley marched over to Josh.  Her expression was painted with both anger and concern as she folded her arms over her chest.  “What the hell happened?” she asked.

 

“It was nothing, really,” Josh tried.  He couldn’t drag Ashley into this.  “We were just talking.”

 

“You’re a real shit liar, Josh, you know that?” she spat.  Josh flinched at her tone and her eyes soften.  “Look, I’m not an idiot, okay?  What I just saw wasn’t nothing.”

 

“Please just stay out of this, Ashley,” Josh pleaded. 

 

“Josh, I understand the position you’re in - I’ve been there before,” Ashley said, “if you’re not safe - you can tell me.  If Justin is manipulating you, we can end this.  I just need you to tell me.”

 

Josh’s heart picked up speed at what she was implying.  “No, it’s not that easy,” he shook his head, “it’s complicated, okay?  But it’s  _ fine _ .”

 

“You guys can’t work if you’re gossiping in the back!” Justin shouted from the front of the bar.  

 

“We’re coming!” Ashley shouted back, her eyes never leaving Josh.  “Don’t get your panties in a wad, alright?” 

  
  
  


Josh avoided Ashley’s watchful eyes throughout the night, ignoring the worried looks and pity smile she kept sending his way.  Josh didn’t need her worry or pity, he needed her to mind her own damn business.  

 

Wiping spilled drinks off the countertop, he watched as some sorority chick did body shots off one of her friends.  The group of girls surrounding them cheered as the girl downed the vodka and ate the lime out of the other girl’s mouth.  After she finished the lime, she spit it out and eloquently shoved her tongue down her “friend’s” throat. 

 

“Can we get more shots?” one of the girls shouted, hiccuping and giggling between words.

 

“Would you like to take care of that one?” Josh asked Ashley, raising his eyebrows suggestively. 

 

She waved him off.  “I actually have a girlfriend, Josh, so I’m good,” she replied, grabbing a beer and handing it to some guy sitting at the bar top.  

 

“Oh you do?” he asked as he snatched some shot glasses off the shelf.  “What’s her name?” 

 

“Hayley,” she answered as Josh nearly spilled vodka everywhere.

 

‘ _ Calm down, lots of girls have the name Hayley, it’s probably not the same person _ ,’ Josh quickly tried to assure him as he poured the vodka into the glasses. 

 

He placed the shots onto a tray and carefully brought it over to the group of girls, making them all cheer as he set it on the table.  The girl who was doing the body shots grabbed Josh by the arm, making Josh jump. 

 

“Easy there, tiger,” the girl said, flipping her red hair over her shoulder.  “I just wanted to get a better look at that pretty face of yours.” 

 

“I need to get back to work,” Josh said, ignoring her comment.

 

“I’m Jessie,” she introduced, not acknowledging what he just said, “and you are?” 

 

“Not interested,” Josh deadpanned, ripping his arm away from his grasp and walking back over to behind the counter.

 

He wiped his hands off on a rag, suddenly feeling every bit of dirt and germs that covered every inch of his skin.  He pulled his focus on keeping the counter clean, ignoring the familiar feeling of something crawling all over him. 

 

“Josh!” a loud voice called happily whilst entering through the door.  Recognizing the voice, Josh looked up and saw a gleeful looking Brendon with an uncomfortable looking Tyler in his tow.  

 

“Wow, you guys are clingy,” Josh joked, “can’t even go a week without seeing either one of you.”

 

Tyler cracked a smile as he sat down at the bar top with Brendon.  “It’s just been too long, Joshie, I’ve missed seeing that miserable face of yours,” Brendon laughed.

 

“Nah, you’ve just missed all the alcohol I serve you,” Josh replied.

 

“That may be true, but I’m not here to drink tonight,” Brendon stated, making Josh raise an eyebrow at the dark haired boy. 

 

“You do know this is a bar right?” Josh questioned.

 

“Well you see, tonight we’ve come to get Tyler over here drunk,” Brendon explained, clasping his hands around Tyler’s shoulders and shaking him back and forth.

 

“Did you agree to this?” Josh asked Tyler, chuckling at the miserable expression that painted Tyler’s face.

 

“He told me we were going to the movies,” Tyler grumbled, glaring at Brendon.

 

“This will be just as fun!” Brendon remarked.

 

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to peer pressure?” Josh asked, crossing his arms over his chest as Tyler gave a weak laugh.

 

Brendon waved him off.  “Nah, I’m sure Tyler is just dying to get drunk - right Ty?” he asked, clapping him on the back.

 

Tyler rolled his eyes.  “Sure, why not?” he replied, unenthusiastically.  

 

“I’m not gonna serve you anything unless you actually want to,” Josh told him, but Tyler just shrugged him off.

 

“It’s fine - I mean really, what’s the worst that could happen?” 

  
  
  


Tyler was a giggly drunk.

 

“H-hey Josh, hey Josh,” Tyler slurred, bouncing up and down in the bar stool as he called Josh over to him.

 

“Yes Tyler?” Josh replied, curling his lip inward to prevent himself from laughing at Tyler’s current state.  

 

“You wanna know something funny?” he asked, spitting out tiny giggles as he talked. 

 

“Sure buddy,” Josh answered.

 

A hiccup shook Tyler’s shoulders before he leaned forward on the counter to get closer to Josh.  “I forgot what I was gonna say,” Tyler said, bursting into another round of giggles before almost falling over. 

 

Brendon quickly grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back onto the stool.  He laughed as he steadied the swaying Tyler.  “This is the best decision I’ve ever made in my life.” 

 

“You’re a terrible friend,” Josh told him, even though he himself was enjoying drunk Tyler a lot. 

 

“Jish!” Tyler hiccuped.

 

“Jish?” Josh questioned, laughing at the drunken nickname.

 

“Yes, Jish - Jishwa,” Tyler replied, his face suddenly very serious as he restated the nickname.  “I need to tell you something.”

“And what is it that you need to tell me?” Josh asked, amused. 

 

“I really like your face,” Tyler stated, very matter-of-factly. 

 

“Oh do you now?” Josh said, teasingly.  Despite himself, Josh couldn’t help but feel his heart begin to flutter. 

 

Tyler nodded enthusiastically and gave him a lopsided grin.  “Yeah, like if your face was like a genre of music, my taste in music would be your face.” 

 

“Wow Tyler, you paint with words,” Josh snorted, “you should write a song.” 

 

Tyler set his elbow down on the counter and rested his cheek against his knuckles, smushing his face.  “I’ll totally write you a song, Jish,” he sighed dreamily. 

 

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” Josh said before turning to Brendon.  “You should probably get him home before he says or does something he’ll regret.” 

 

Brendon chuckled and shook his head.  “Oh I’m sure he already has.” 

 

He patted the drunk boy on the shoulder and wrapped his arm around his torso for support.  “Come on, Ty, we need to be heading home now.”   
  


“Noooo,” Tyler argued, petulantly.  “I wanna keep talking to Jish!”

 

“Sorry buddy, but I’m sure Josh needs to focus on other customers,” Brendon told him, though  that wasn’t totally true.  The bar was closing in an hour and there was only a couple other people still there.

 

Tyler pouted.  “Fine,” he resigned, “byeee Jishwa.”  Tyler frantically waved his arm at Josh as Brendon escorted him to the front door.

 

“Goodnight Tyler,” Josh laughed, giving him a quick wave.  “I’ll see you around.” 

 

Brendon bidded him a goodnight and the two left the bar.  Josh shook his head and let out another quiet laugh as he began to clean up all the empty glasses.  

 

An hour passed and everyone that was still there left after Ashley kicked them all out.  The two quickly cleaned up the bar together before they headed to the back room together.  

 

“You stay safe, alright?” Ashley told him as she collected her stuff.  

 

Josh nodded and watched her leave.  He grew stiff as he felt strong arms snake around his waist.  Josh stared up at the ceiling and blinked away tears as Justin began sucking his neck. 

 

Josh flinched as he felt Justin bite down on his shoulders.  “Who was it that you were talking to while you were supposed to be working?” he asked, his hand slipping into Josh’s jeans and his nails digging into his inner thigh.

 

“It was just a friend,” Josh said, his eyes burning with more tears as he felt Justin break skin. 

 

“Friends?  Who would want to be friends with you?” Justin spat, his other hand finding its way to Josh’s hair and pulling it painfully. 

 

He remained quiet as Justin began to tug dug his pants, swallowing the whimper that tried to escape his lips.  “Don’t you know you belong to me, Josh?” Justin asked, his fingers playing with the band of his boxers.  “You’re mine, and I’m gonna make sure you know that.”

 

Josh suddenly felt dazed as Justin continued to suck on the skin of his neck and claw at his thighs.  Reality seemed to warp around him and it felt like he was stuck in some sort of dream - or nightmare.  Everything was moving in slow motion and Josh no longer felt like he was in control of his body.  He felt like a mannequin, lifeless and unmoving.  

 

Josh didn’t feel it when Justin finally tugged down his boxers.  Josh didn’t hear Justin when he demanded him to undo his belt.  Josh couldn’t feel his fingers when they shakily removed Justin’s belt and pants.  Josh didn’t feel it when Justin smacked him for being too slow. 

 

Josh didn’t feel anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was as hard to write as it was probably to read.   
> I have been fortunate to never go through what Josh is going through so I do hope I'm doing those who have justice whilst writing this. I'm trying to write this as respectfully as I can and I'm so sorry if I fall short. I understand this is not a subject that should be handled lightly, so I'm doing my best.  
> If you enjoyed the chapter, please let me know! Your feedback always means the world to me and it keeps me writing <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for anxiety attack  
> Stay safe frens xx

Tyler was a hundred percent sure he was dying when he woke up.  His brain seem to be banging against his skull, giving him a splitting headache. He felt his stomach churn uncomfortably and he moaned as he curled into ball. 

 

“Good morning Tyler!” Brendon shouted, abruptly swinging the bedroom door open. Tyler groaned as Brendon’s voice rattled in his head, making it throb harder. 

 

“How’s my baby boy’s first hangover going?” Brendon asked, flinging himself onto the bed and bouncing up and down. 

 

Tyler chucked a pillow at his head. “Fuck off Brendon.”

 

“Someone's grumpy this morning,” Brendon teased, ruffling Tyler’s hair. 

 

“I can't believe I let you do this to me,” Tyler muttered, pulling the blanket over his head so he could block out the loud noise he called his best friend. 

 

“But didn't you have fun last night?” Brendon giggled, “cause Josh and I sure did.”

 

Tyler let out another groan as memories of the previous night flooded his head. “I want to kick drunk me in the face,” Tyler grumbled, his cheeks burning red.

 

“I think Josh wanted to kiss drunk you,” Brendon commented, wiggling his eyebrows.

 

“He probably thinks I'm a total freak,” Tyler muttered, wiping his palm across his face. “I mean -  _ my taste in music is your face _ ? What the hell was I even saying?” 

 

“Well whatever you were saying, Josh looked absolutely smitten,” Brendon said. 

 

Tyler snorted. “Absolutely smitten? When did you turn into a grandma?” 

 

“Ever since I quit drinking,” Brendon replied, “now come on, I brought you some water and Advil.” 

 

Tyler sat up slowly and took the bottle and pills out of Brendon’s hands. He popped the pills into his mouth and quickly downed the water. “Great, that takes care of the pounding in my head - what do I need to make the monster in my stomach to go away?”

 

“You have to throw the monster up, Ty,” Brendon told him, laughing under his breath. 

 

Tyler moaned and made grabby hands towards Brendon. “Carry me to the bathroom.”

 

Brendon shrugged and stood up, scooping Tyler up into his arms. Tyler squealed at the sudden movement and pounded against Brendon’s back as he threw him over his shoulder.

 

“I was joking! Put me down!” Tyler demanded, flailing underneath Brendon’s grasp as they entered the bathroom. 

 

“Calm down child, Mama is taking care of you,” Brendon soothed, setting Tyler down in front of the toilet. 

 

“You are not my mom,” Tyler told him as he hunched over the toilet. 

 

Brendon gaped at him and clutched his heart dramatically. “How dare you speak to your own mother like that?” 

 

Before Tyler could say anything, another wave of nausea turned his stomach and leaned forward into the toilet.  Brendon cringed sympathetically as Tyler emptied the contents of his stomach.  He sat down on the floor next to him and rubbed his back soothingly.

 

“I’m never drinking again,” Tyler declared before dry heaving.  “I don’t understand how you could do this every night.”

 

“When you’re unhappily married and a teacher to a bunch of bored college students, the hangover is worth the buzz,” Brendon said, nonchalant.  Tyler found it a little unsettling how lightly Brendon was taking his current situation.

 

Tyler spat bile out into the toilet.  “Well, it’s not worth it to me.”  He groaned and leaned up against the wall, pulling his knees up to his chest.  “You’re so lucky I don’t work today.” 

 

“Perfect!” Brendon exclaimed, “that means we can go to the grocery store today.”

 

Tyler tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyebrows.  “And why do we need to do that?” he asked.

 

Brendon smiled sheepishly.  “Because there’s a possibility that your best friend - whom you love so very much - may or may not have eaten all your food.”

 

Tyler groaned and rolled his eyes.  “Remind me, when will you be finding a place of your own?” 

 

“I’m working on it, I’m working on it,” Brendon assured, waving off Tyler’s annoyance.  “But until then, you’re stuck with me.”

 

“I could just throw you onto the streets,” Tyler pointed out.

 

Brendon scoffed.  “As if Tyler, you’re too nice of a human being to even consider such a thing.”  Tyler opened his mouth to argue, but closed it.

 

“Now you go on and take a nice warm shower and then we’ll go, yeah?” Brendon said, Tyler nodding in agreement. 

 

Brendon stepped out of the bathroom and Tyler stood up slowly, the nausea not completely disappearing.  The headache had subsided into a dull ache and would probably be gone within the hour.  

 

Tyler slipped his clothes off and turned on the shower, waiting for the water to warm up.  He hopped in and hummed contently as the water burned his skin.  Taking his time, he washed and rinsed himself whilst singing quietly under his breath.  He shut the water off once he was done and plucked his towel off the rack.  

 

Stepping out of the shower, he wrapped the towel around his waist and quickly brushed his teeth.  After getting out of the shower, Tyler felt much better.  The headache was completely gone and he didn’t feel quite as nauseous.  There was something magical about showers.

 

Rinsing out his mouth, he wiped his face off and walked over to his room.  After drying himself off, he threw on a hoodie, sweatpants, and a pair of sneakers.  Not bothering to do anything to his hair, he walked over to the kitchen where Brendon was. 

 

“Hey, you want something to eat?” Brendon asked, rummaging through Tyler’s cupboards.  “We have a jar of salsa,  couple protein bars, and sugar cubes.”

 

Tyler snorted.  “I’ll take a protein bar, please,” he replied.  Brendon tossed the bar to him and Tyler caught it mid air.  “Sounds like we need a lot more than I was anticipating,” Tyler commented, tearing the wrapper off the bar and sinking his teeth into the crumbly oats.

 

“Nah, I definitely think I could cook a five star meal with salsa, sugar cubes, and protein bars,” Brendon joked, “I mean, people on Chopped do it all the time.” 

 

Tyler shook his head and laughed.  “There will definitely be no need for that,” he said, snatching his wallet and apartment keys.  

 

Brendon grabbed his car keys and the two left the apartment together.  They walked down the flight of stairs towards the parking lot of the building.  Brendon unlocked his car and they both hopped in.  Brendon cranked the key into the ignition and Frank Sinatra started blaring through the speakers.

 

“Sometimes I forget how big of a dork you truly are, Bren,” Tyler chuckled.  Brendon just smiled as he drove out of the parking lot, singing and snapping along to the song. 

 

“ _ Strangers in the night _

_ Exchanging glances _

_ Wondering in the night _

_ What were the chances?” _

 

Tyler stared out the window as Brendon pulled into the store’s parking lot.  He found a spot close to the entrance and parked, unlocking the car.  They climbed out of the car and walked through the automatic doors.  

 

“Hey Tyler,” Brendon called as he pulled out a cart.  “Hop in.”

 

“Are you serious right now?” Tyler asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“No I’m Brendon right now,” he deadpanned, before tapping the sides of the cart.  “Now c’mon and live a little - hop in.”

 

Tyler pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.  “Fine,” he resigned, rolling his eyes.  He stepped on the bottom of the cart and threw his leg over the sides of it, plopping down into the basket.

 

Brendon pushed Tyler around the small store, running down aisles when no one was down them.  Tyler would swallow the childish squeal that threaten to escape every time Brendon would release his grip on the cart and let it rush down the aisle.

 

“Okay Ty-Guy, what else do we need to get?” Brendon asked, giggling quietly as he politely pushed the cart past a couple workers.  They didn’t say anything, just gave the two a warning glance.

 

Tyler looked down at his lap that was currently covered in red bull, cookies, pancake mix, popcorn, and family size bags of chips.  “Probably something healthy,” he answered.

 

“Psh, that’s boring,” Brendon scoffed.

 

“How about some milk and eggs?” Tyler said, “it’ll be kinda hard to make pancakes without those ingredients.”

 

“I suppose you’re right,” Brendon sighed, “off to the dairy aisle!”   
  


Tyler giggled as Brendon charged across the store, pushing his leg against the floor before lifting it up and surfing on the cart.  Tyler was very grateful for the lack of customers in the store and lack of care in the employees of the store.  

 

Tyler’s smile was replaced with a puzzled frown as the cart came a sudden stop.  He stared at Brendon with confused eyes as the dark haired boy suddenly spun the cart around and went in the opposite direction they were originally going.

 

“Bren?” Tyler questioned, staring at his suddenly stone faced expression.  “You alright?”

 

Brendon merely shook his head, biting down on his lip.  He ended up pushing the cart all the way to the back of the store where the bathrooms were.  His grip on the cart’s handle was so tight his knuckles were turning white.

 

“What’s wrong?” Tyler asked, pushing all their items off his lap so he could climb out of the cart.

 

Brendon stared straight in front of him.  “I c-can’t breathe,” he gasped out, trying to take in a breath and only ending up choking on the air. 

 

“Hey, it’s okay, Bren - you’re okay,” Tyler spoke calmly, refraining from putting his hands on Brendon, no matter how badly he wanted to.  “Let’s go into the bathroom, okay?”

 

Brendon nodded frantically and the two rushed into the bathroom.  Brendon collapsed against the wall and slid down to the floor, his breathing escalating into hyperventilating.  Tyler sat down in front of him and kept himself calm and steady.

 

“Brendon, I need you to focus on me, okay?  Can you do that for me?” Tyler asked, gently.  Brendon nodded and looked up at Tyler, his breathing still laboured.  “Great, that’s so good, you’re doing so good.  Okay, is it alright if I touch you?” 

 

Brendon nodded and Tyler gingerly locked his fingers with Brendon’s.  “Okay, I’m gonna keep asking you questions, okay?  Do you think you’ll be able to answer them?” Tyler asked, using his thumb to rub circles into his palm. 

 

He gave another nod.  “That’s great!  You’re doing great,” Tyler continued to reassure, “okay Bren, what are five things you can see right now?” 

 

Brendon inhaled a shaky breath before answering.  “Um, you, a sink, a door, a handle on the door, and - uh - a mirror.” 

 

Tyler smiled softly and gave his hand a little squeeze.  “Good, good - okay, how about you tell me four things you can feel?” 

 

“Your hand, the floor, the wall, and my shirt,” Brendon replied, his breathing still a little too quick for Tyler’s liking.  

 

“Good job, you’re doing great.  Now how about you tell me three things you can hear, can you do that?” Tyler asked, watching Brendon’s breathing slow down a little as he focused on the noises around him.

 

“Your voice, my voice, and the leaky faucet,” Brendon replied.  Tyler’s thumb inched down to his wrist and he could feel his pulse becoming steady. 

 

“Okay, good,” Tyler praised, “how about two things you can smell.”

 

“Your shower gel and toilet water,” Brendon answered, making Tyler chuckle.

 

“Alright, now take one deep breath in and then let it out,” Tyler instructed.  Brendon obeyed and sucked in a slow breath before releasing it gently.  

 

They sat in silence for a bit as Brendon recovered, continuing to focus on his breathing whilst Tyler kept his hand over his.

 

“What was that?” Brendon asked once he had finally calmed down completely.

 

“It was anxiety attack,” Tyler explained, “it was basically your brain thinking you were in danger so it sent you a bunch of adrenaline to deal with the danger.  Unfortunately, since there was no danger, the adrenaline just kinda sat in your veins and caused you to shake and hyperventilate.” 

 

“Oh,” Brendon responded, simply. 

 

“Why’d you think you were in danger, Bren?” Tyler asked, concern soaking every syllable. 

 

Brendon bowed his head and stared at the cracked tile floor.  “I saw Ryan,” he answered, his voice hushed and barely audible. 

 

“You wanna talk about why that made you upset?” Tyler asked, “you seemed to be doing the past couple weeks.” 

 

Brendon sniffed and wiped his sleeve across his nose.  “Geez Ty, I thought you were a trauma nurse, not a therapist,” he joked, trying to ease the tension that was suffocating the comfortable air out of the room.

 

“You don’t have to try and make me laugh, Bren,” Tyler told him, smiling softly.  “You can tell me what’s going on with you.” 

 

Brendon sighed.  “It’s just, I’ve dealt with losing Sarah and losing the home we had together.  Those were things I never really wanted anyway.  But Ryan-” His voice cracked suddenly a few stray tears landed on his cheeks 

 

Tyler scooted next to Brendon and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, letting him rest his head on his chest.  “Ryan was something I didn’t want to admit I lost.  Part of me was still pretending that I still had him - if that makes anything sense,” Brendon laughed bitterly at himself.  “But just seeing him here reminded that I don’t have him anymore.”

 

“I don’t have anything anymore,” Brendon finished.

 

“Hey, that’s not true,” Tyler protested, patting him on the shoulder.  “You still got me.” 

 

Brendon gave him a weak smile.  “I’ve always had you.” 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice semi-fluffy chapter for today, thought it was well earned after the last two chapters.
> 
> So the reason I had two chapters that kinda focused on anxiety/panic attacks is because I really wanted to show the difference in handling a panic attack. Though Abby had good intentions, she didn't really handle Josh's attack well and kinda made it worse in some ways. I wanted to make a clear contrast between she and Tyler handled it so then those who may have loved ones who suffer with panic or anxiety attacks can kinda know the best way to help them. Obviously everyone is different and you should always try to ask the person what the best way to help them is.   
> Also, I'm just a big sucker for Tyler and Brendon's relationship in this fic. 
> 
> I really hope this was helpful or that you enjoyed the chapter! Let me know in the comments what you think! xx


	12. Chapter 12

Wind travelled through the car’s opened windows as Josh drove down the familiar road. His teeth chattered slightly at the rush of cold air that swirled around his wet hair. Josh never liked rolling down the windows, but Abby loved it.

  
Josh stole a glance at the passenger seat where Abby currently had her head out the window, the wind drying her damp hair. She reminded Josh of a dog sticking its head out of a window.

  
“I wonder how many bugs have flown onto your face without you knowing,” Josh commented, laughing as Abby squealed and quickly sat back down in the passenger seat.

  
“You have to ruin everything don’t you?” she pouted, running her fingers through her wild hair in attempt to make it look somewhat decent.

  
“As your older brother, it’s my job to do so,” Josh teased, ruffling her hair and ruining the effort she had put into it.

  
Abby narrowed her eyes at her brother and went back to brushing her hair with her hair. “Ya know, I still can’t believe the gym hasn’t kicked us out yet,” she said, wringing her hair and causing a few drops of water to fall onto her jeans.

  
Josh shrugged. “They can’t really kick us out for using their showers,” he replied, slowly bringing his foot to the brake pedal as he saw the familiar set of trees.

  
“Yeah, but I’m sure they don’t appreciate the fact we never use their actual gym equipment,” Abby said, unbuckling her seatbelt as Josh parked the car in front of the woods.

  
Josh hummed, but said nothing as he pulled the keys out of the ignition and slipped his seatbelt off. He turned around and reached over the seat, grabbing the blankets out from the back row of the car. He tossed one of the blankets to Abby, who wrapped it around her shoulders as she began walking towards the clearing.

  
When they made it to the treehouse, the two quickly climbed up the rope ladder and made themselves comfortable in the wooden box. Abby threw her legs over Josh’s lap as he tugged his blanket up to his chest, folding his arms under the warm fabric.

  
The two sat in a comfortable silence and Josh closed his eyes, enjoying the lack of noise. Only the sound of the wind rustling leaves and their light breathing surrounded them. In that moment, Josh didn’t feel a weight on his chest. And if Josh could freeze time, he’d stop it on that moment.

  
Opening his eyes, he looked over at Abby who didn’t seem to sharing his sense of peace. Her gazed was fixated on one of the planks of wood, her eyebrows furrowed together and her lips pursed.

  
“Abbs?” Josh questioned, tilting his head to the side as he stared at his sister.

  
Abby blinked suddenly and her focused expression soften at the sound of the nickname. “Hmm?” she replied, looking over at Josh.

  
“You okay? You looked upset,” Josh said, trying not to sound too worried.

  
Abby waved him off. “I’m fine, I was just thinking about some stuff.”

  
“Thinking, huh? That explains why I smell smoke,” Josh teased, poking his tongue through his teeth as he laughed at her. She kicked his knee in response.

  
“Ha ha, you’re so funny,” she deadpanned, shooting him a glare as she crossed her arms.

  
“Okay, but in all seriousness, what stuff were ya thinking about?” he asked, his laughter fading as he looked at Abby curiously.

  
Abby sighed and pick her nails nervously. “I want to get a job,” she said, chewing on the inside of her cheeks. “I don’t think it’s fair that you have to work two jobs all week long while I just stay at the shelter, doing nothing all day.”

  
“Oh,” Josh replied, dumbly. “Okay.”

  
Abby opened her mouth to argue some more, but quickly shut it as she looked like a fish out of water. “Wait - really?” she asked, staring at Josh in disbelief. “You’re okay with it?”

  
“Yeah, I mean, why not?” Josh said, chuckling slightly at how surprised Abby looked. “If you really want to, I don’t see any reason not to.”

  
Abby exhaled in relief, as if she was holding in her breath. “Do you think I get a good enough job, you’ll be able to quit one of yours?” she asked.

  
Josh sighed as he sensed the familiar argument slowly rising. “Probably not, neither pay super well, so I kinda need both,” he explained, really hoping that she wouldn’t further the argument.

  
“What if you worked full time at the gas station?” she asked, making Josh want to bash his head through the wall. He just can’t keep having the same conversation over and over again.

  
“I’ve said this before, Abbs, they don’t need me to work full time,” he said, clenching his jaw. “I know you don’t like it, but I need the bar job, okay?”

  
Abby didn’t say anything after that, just gritted her teeth and seethed quietly in the corner of the treehouse. Part of Josh wanted to apologize, but the other part of him was stubborn as fuck and told him to act as childishly as her. The stubborn part typically won out.

  
“Speaking of it, I need to be heading to work soon,” Josh announced, sometime later. He peeled the blanket off his chest and softly kicked Abby’s legs off of him. “So let’s go take you back to the shelter, okay?”

  
Abby continued to give Josh the silent treatment as they climbed out of the treehouse. She kept a far distance from him as they walked through the woods, petulantly kicking rocks and twigs as they went along the path. Josh ignored it when some of those rocks would hit the back of his leg.

  
They remained quiet during the walk to the car and during the trip back to the shelter. Abby didn’t even say goodbye or anything when Josh dropped her off at the shelter before heading to the bar.

  
Josh didn’t feel a sense of dread as he drove towards the bar. Justin never came to the bar on Wednesdays, which meant it was just him and Ashley that day. Josh added it to the reasons why Wednesday was the best day of the week.

  
Pulling into the bar’s parking lot, confusion fogged Josh’s mind when he didn’t see Ashley’s car. He passed it off that she was just late and pushed away the half empty thoughts. He set the car in park and locked it after he hopped out.

  
Walking up the back door, he went to unlock it, but found it was already unlocked. ‘Maybe Justin forgot to lock it last night,’ Josh tried to convince himself, but it didn’t get rid of the familiar dread beginning to settle in his chest.

  
He opened the door and began setting all his stuff down once he entered the back room. Beginning to take his jacket off, he froze when he heard clanging coming from the storage room. Slowly, he walked over to the storage closet and his eyes widen when he saw a familiar head of black hair.

  
“Justin?” Josh questioned, the lump forming in his throat barely allowing him to choke out a syllable. “What are you doing here?”

  
Justin snorted. “I kinda own the place, Josh.” He grabbed a crate of beers off one of the shelves and turned so he was facing Josh.

  
“Well, you just don’t - uh - typically come in on Wednesdays,” Josh coughed, awkwardly following Justin as he took the crate into the front of the bar. He set it down on the counter and began filling the shelf under the bar.

  
Justin clenched his jaw. “No, but that was till Ashley quit this morning,” he spoke through gritted teeth.

  
Josh’s eyes widen in disbelief. “What? She quit? How come?” he asked, gripping the counter till his knuckles turned white.

  
Justin shot a glare at Josh’s direction and Josh was very grateful that looks couldn’t kill. “I don’t know, Josh, I was really hoping you could tell me,” he snarled, pushing him with a pointed finger into the bar top.

  
Josh gave him a puzzled look. “Why should I know?” he asked.

  
“Tell me Josh, did you tell Ashley about our little arrangement?” Justin asked, gripping Josh’s arm and digging his nails deep into his skin. His choice of words made Josh nauseous.

  
“I didn’t tell her anything,” Josh swore, voice cracking. He winced as he felt Justin’s palm connect with his jaw, leaving him with a stinging pain that travelled across his face.

  
Justin clutched Josh’s face, pressing into the bruise that was already forming on his jaw. “Come on Josh, we don’t want to taint those pretty lips with lies, do we?” he questioned, tracing his mouth with his thumb.

  
“I’m n-not lying,” Josh whimpered, squirming under his touch.

  
Justin made his grip tighter. “Don’t fucking stutter, faggot,” he growled, “how do you expect me to believe you when you won’t even look me in the fucking eye? You’re pathetic.”

  
“I swear I didn’t tell her,” Josh cried, struggling to look at Justin’s stormy eyes.

  
Justin released his grip as he looked up at the clock that read ‘5;00.’ “We’ll talk more about this later,” he stated, walking over to the front of the bar and unlocking the door.

  
Josh nodded and excused himself to the bathroom. He pushed open one of the stall doors and collapsed in front of the toilet. His muscles jerked violently as he emptied the contents of his stomach. He vomited till nothing there was nothing but bile burning his throat. He rested his head on the stall wall as sobs racked his shoulders, the movement upsetting his stomach and forcing him to dry heave whatever the hell was left.

  
Justin was right. He was pathetic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short little chapter for today's update. Unfortunately this may be my last one for awhile because I have a very busy week, but I promise I'll try to whenever I can! I've already started on the next chapter so hopefully there will be at least one other update this week!   
> Hope you guys have a happy holidays <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's my birthday so I've decided to treat myself to writing a little filler chapter for my favorite story  
> hope you guys enjoy <3

“Brendon, what the hell is this?” Tyler asked as the two were putting groceries away together. Tyler felt like he had been asking that question to Brendon a lot lately.

  
Brendon closed the fridge door and turned to look at Tyler, laughing loudly when he saw what was in Tyler’s hand. “Oh! It’s really cool, I saw it on TV the other night,” Brendon began to explain, “it’s like this giant straw thing that allows you to drink from three different drinks!”

  
Tyler stared at Brendon in disbelief. “And you thought that was worth spending ten dollars on?”

  
“Well duh,” Brendon scoffed, taking the waste of money out of Tyler’s hand and cradling it like a child. “I can use one straw for heavy cream, another for kahlua, and the other for vodka and have the most interesting white russian ever.”

  
“I thought you were quitting alcohol,” Tyler said as he began putting away all the bags of chips they regrettably bought,

  
“I’m quitting being an alcoholic,” Brendon corrected, “doesn’t mean I have to be a prude.”

  
Tyler narrowed his eyes at Brendon. “Are you calling me a prude?” he asked.

  
“I wouldn't be wrong if I was,” Brendon winked, earning him a slap to the back of his head.

  
Right as Tyler went to continue arguing with Brendon, he felt his phone vibrating obnoxiously in his front pocket. He pulled it out and confusion and a little concern came over him when he saw the hospital’s ID.

  
“Hello?” Tyler greeted, leaning against the counter.

  
“Hey Tyler, it’s Dallon,” Dr.Weekes’s voice replied, his friendly tone putting Tyler’s worry to ease.

  
“Oh, hi Dr.Weekes,” Tyler said, relief making itself known in his voice.

  
Weekes chuckled a little. “Please Tyler, there's no patients around, there's no need to be formal,” Weekes - Dallon - told him.

  
“Oh okay, what is it that you need?” Tyler asked.

  
“I know you're not supposed to come in to work today, but Mandy is getting checked out today and I thought you might want to say goodbye,” Dallon answered.

  
Tyler smacked himself in the forehead. How could he forget? “Yes of course, what time is she getting released?” he asked.

  
“In about an hour,” Dallon said.

  
Tyler nodded, momentarily forgetting Dallon couldn't see him. “Okay, I'll come soon,” he said, “thank you for calling me.”

  
Tyler could hear the smile in Dallon’s voice. “Of course. I understand it's sometimes difficult to let go of longtime patients.”

  
“Yeah,” Tyler agreed, sadly. “Well I'll see you soon, thank you again.”

  
“No worries,” Dallon replied, “bye Tyler.”

  
“Bye Dallon,” Tyler said, the name not sitting comfortably on his tongue.

  
Brendon raised an eyebrow at him once he ended the call. “What was that?” he asked, munching down on one of the bags of chips.

  
“My boss,” Tyler answered, “one of my patients is getting released today so he was wondering if I wanted to come say goodbye.”

  
“Oh, alright. Do you need me to take you or did you want to take the bus?” Brendon asked, his mouth full of chewed up chip crumbs, making Tyler cringe.

  
“If you don't mind taking me, that'd be really great,” Tyler told him, “I think the bus driver keeps trying to flirt with me and she's old enough to be my mother.”

  
Brendon scrunched his nose up in disgust. “Maybe you should just get your own car,” he suggested.

  
Tyler waved him off. “Maybe you should just get your own apartment,” Tyler shot at him.

  
Brendon threw his hands up in defense. “Hey, I'm working on it, I promise.”

  
“Mhmm, I'm sure,” Tyler said, rolling his eyes before laughing a little under his breath. “Let's just get going yeah?”

 

 

 

  
When Tyler got to the hospital, he walked down the familiar corridor to the small room that was filled with nurses and doctors. Energy buzzed throughout the room of both pride and a little sorrow.

  
Mandy sat on the hospital bed that was no longer hers, and no longer wearing a blue paper gown. She wore a short blue dress that proudly showed off her scars.

  
Tyler entered the cramped room, attempting to keep the last minute flowers behind his back. He walked up to Mandy and smiled brightly. “Congratulations Mandy,” Tyler smiled, handing her the bouquet.

  
Mandy beamed as she gingerly took the flowers. “Thank you,” she said, her voice no longer small and fragile.

  
Joy swelled in Tyler’s chest as he stared at the girl before him. No more was the girl who hated herself enough to cut her own skin, but a girl who loved herself enough to show it.

  
“I'm so proud of you,” Tyler told her, taking her hand softly into his and giving it a tender squeeze. “You've made it so far, kid.”

  
Mandy gave him a crooked smile. “It's all thanks to you, really,” she replied.

  
Tyler shook his head. “No, your recovery is due to your bravery and determination, okay?” he said, “I can come up with a bunch of artistic ways to tell you to keep going, but you didn't have to listen to me. You could've given up and you didn't. And I'm so proud of you.”

  
Tears began to dwell in Mandy’s eyes and her smile became a little brighter. “Thank you, Dr.Joseph, thank you for everything,” she sniffed, leaning forward and wrapping her thin arms around his shoulders.

  
Tyler rubbed her back soothingly. “I'm not your doctor anymore, so please, call me Tyler,” he insisted, pulling away from the hug and giving her a soft smile.

  
Both of them turned their head as a soft knock was heard from the doorway. A boy with a halo of brown curls shyly stood to the side.

  
“Hi, I'm Troye and I'm here to pick up Mandy,” he said, smiling awkwardly at all the nurses and doctors that currently had their eyes on him.

  
Mandy nodded and smiled at Troye. She stood from the bed and began giving everyone one last hug goodbye.

  
She held Tyler a little tighter and longer than everyone else. “I better not see you back here, okay?” Tyler told her, making her giggle beneath his embrace.

  
They all waved goodbye as she left with her roommate. Bittersweetness settled into the room and sat closely on everyone’s chest.

  
Dallon came up behind Tyler and clapped him on the shoulder. “Hey Tyler, a couple of us are going to get some drinks to celebrate, would you like to join us?” he asked.

  
Tyler cringed inwardly at the thought of alcohol. “Oh, uh, what bar?” he asked, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

  
“Vessel,” Dallon answered.

  
Excitement bubbled inside Tyler at the thought of seeing Josh and caused him nod. “Yeah, I’d love to join you guys.”

  
“Great,” Dallon grinned, “we’ll see you there.”

  
Tyler nodded once more and made his way back to Brendon’s car. His teeth chattered as he hopped into the passenger seat, the cold air crawling over his skin. Brendon looked up from whatever he was doing on his phone and offered a small smile.

  
“How’d it go?” Brendon asked, shoving his phone into his jean pocket.

  
“Short and bittersweet,” Tyler answered. He was happy for Melanie, but sad that he won't be able to see her crooked smile everyday anymore.

  
“Like pulling teeth?” Brendon asked, his tongue sticking out through his teeth as he laughed at his own joke.

  
Tyler rolled his eyes and shook his head. “You paint with words, Brendon,” he told him, “anyway, I was wondering if you were up to going over to Vessel?”

  
Brendon snorted. “Why? So I can watch you and Josh flirt another night in a row?”

  
Another roll of the eyes. “No, I was invited by a couple of the other doctors and nurses,” Tyler retorted.

  
Brendon turned the key in the ignition and faked a laugh as he pulled out of the parking lot. “Wow, I can't believe you actually have other friends. This is news breaking.”

  
Tyler smacked him in the arm. “Shut up and drive,” he said, biting his cheek so he wouldn't laugh.

  
After a few minutes, Brendon pulled into the familiar parking lot and turned off the car. The two climbed out of the car and headed up to the bar.

  
Entering the bar, Tyler was beckoned by a group of his work friends at a table in the corner. Before Tyler could say anything to him, Brendon patted him on the back and headed to the counter by himself.

  
Walking over to the table, a little bit of dread filled Tyler’s chest as he saw a head of ginger hair at the table.

  
“Hey Tyler,” one of the nurses, Spencer, greeted, pulling a chair out for Tyler. “Jenna went over to the counter to get us all some drinks.”

  
More dread pooled inside Tyler as he forced his mouth into a tight smile. “Great,” he replied, sitting down in the chair.

  
Conversation buzzed between all the others as Tyler sat back and listened. He didn't cheer with Dallon, Spencer, and Debby when Jenna brought a tray with all their drinks to the table.

  
Instead he watched as the blonde sat down next to Debby, whose hand naturally found its way to Jenna’s knee. A soft look came over the blue eyed girl as she listened to the other speak.

  
So much for meaning nothing.

  
“I'm gonna go get some water,” Tyler excused himself to Spencer, who just nodded as he continued to down his drink.

  
Tyler walked up to the counter and felt his mood brighten a little when he saw faded pink hair. Though it dropped a little when he saw the expression beneath it.

  
No sparkle could be seen in Josh’s dark eyes that Tyler used to call warm. Dark circles clouded them and his skin was a sickly pale - nearly transparent. When he spotted Tyler, he forced his lips into a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

  
“Can't get away from me, can ya?” he joked, though Tyler could hear the deceit in his happy tone.

  
Tyler played along, knowing better than to push for answers. “I'm not actually here this time for you,” Tyler told him, “though you're definitely a plus.”

  
A light blush dusted Josh’s gaunt cheeks. “So what are you here for then?” he asked.

  
“A couple of work friends invited me out with them,” Tyler answered.

  
“Then why aren't you with them?” Josh asked, raising an eyebrow at the other boy.

  
“It's just awkward,” Tyler told him, honestly.

  
“And why is that?” Josh continued to ask, curiosity seeping through his words.

  
“Do you want the ugly truth or a nicely painted lie?” Tyler asked, a little exhausted.

  
Josh snorted, a little life coming back into his eyes. “Uh, I’ll take the ugly truth,” he answered, smiling a little.

  
“One of them is my ex-fiancé and the other is the woman she cheated on me with,” Tyler stated, bluntly. It almost felt good to say, oddly enough. It no longer felt like some dirty secret Tyler needed to keep to himself.

  
A look of both surprise and sadness crossed over Josh’s expression. “Wow, that's awful Ty,” he said, his voice genuine. “That really sucks.”

  
Tyler laughed bitterly. “Couldn't have said it better myself.”

  
Josh opened his mouth to respond, but a loud cough from the other side of the bar interrupted him and Josh’s demeanor returned to the smaller one from before.

  
Tyler turned his head to the source of the noise and saw some guy with dark hair and deep blue eyes behind the counter.

  
Tyler furrowed his eyebrows together. “What was that about?” he asked, his gaze still shifting over to the other guy. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something about the guy made Tyler sick to his stomach.

  
“It's just my boss,” Josh answered, his voice suddenly very small. “He doesn't like it when I talk to customers.”

  
“That's stupid,” Tyler said, bluntly.

  
“Yeah,” Josh agreed, a spark of panic burning in his eyes. “Do you think you could order something so I don't look like I'm slacking off?”

  
“Yeah, I'll just take some water,” Tyler said, watching as Josh shakily grabbed a glass and filled it with water.

  
Josh handed the glass to Tyler and rushed over to another customer at the counter. As Tyler sipped on the water and watched the pink haired boy, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

  
“Here, I need you to take the keys to the car,” Brendon said as Tyler turned around to look at him.

  
“Uh, why?” Tyler asked, grabbing the keys from Brendon’s hand.

  
A gleeful look came across Brendon’s face and red flags flared in Tyler’s mind. “I met a guy,” he told him, giving Tyler a sense of dejá vu. “And he's taking me back to his place.”

  
Tyler rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just be safe, okay?”

  
Brendon sent him a wink. “Of course,” he said, before strolling out the front door.

  
Tyler sighed as he looked back over at Josh, who was busy pouring some vodka into a shaker. Forcing himself back over to the table, he tried not to look over at Debby and Jenna.

  
“Hey, where's Dallon?” Tyler asked Spencer, noticing the doctor’s sudden absent.

  
Spencer shrugged. “Beats me,” he answered, his words a little slurred.

  
So Tyler shrank into his chair awkwardly as he watched everyone else enjoy themselves. An uncomfortable feeling continued to sit inside his chest every time he looked over at Josh.

  
He wasn't sure what it was, but he was determined to figure it out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I just realized this fic has a little over a hundred kudos ?!?! That's amazing! I never thought this story would do as well as it's doing and I'm so grateful to all of you who have been so wonderful in the comments. Thank you for all your amazing support and I hope you enjoyed this update! xx


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for a little violence and implied sexual assault (nothing graphic)   
> Stay safe frens <3

When closing time came and every drunk left the bar, dread filled Josh’s lungs and made it hard to breathe.  He watched with glossy eyes as Justin locked the front door.  

 

When he turned around to face Josh, his demeanor was calm, but his eyes burned with fury.  Justin walked over to Josh and gripped his hair, nearly pulling it out as he dragged Josh over to the storage room.

 

Josh’s heart pounded against his chest, echoing in his skull, as Justin shoved him into the closet.  He nearly jumped out of his own skin when he slammed the door shut, the loud sound vibrating the walls and Josh’s bones. 

 

Against any rational thought he had, Josh frantically searched for an exit that he knew he wouldn’t find.  There was no escape from the four walls that surrounded him.

 

Josh cowered towards the corner of the small room as Justin stalked closer to him.  He grabbed Josh’s arm and pulled him away from the corner and closer towards him.  “Are you just trying to piss me off today, Josh?” Justin asked, his eyes like daggers as they glared down at Josh. 

 

Josh swallowed a whimper as Justin dragged his nails down his arm, breaking skin.  “First you lie to me, then you talk to that fag again?”  Justin practically spat in Josh’s face, making him cringe.  

 

“I didn’t lie to you! I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this!”  Josh cried out, frustrated and sounding like a child.  “And I was only talking to him because he’s a customer - I kinda have to talk to customers, it’s part of my job.” 

 

Justin’s expression thundered with anger and his hand collided with Josh’s jaw, causing the fresh bruise from earlier to throb.  “How  _ dare you _ speak to me like that,” he growled, “you’re such an ungrateful child.  I offered you a job when no one wanted to deal with a mad-eyed teenage runaway.  I treat you fairly and even when you deserved, I never punished you harshly.” 

 

Josh almost wanted to laugh.  How could someone violate another person’s body and think it wasn’t cruel?  How could someone call that mercy? 

 

Maybe Josh just deserved it. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Josh choked, not even bothering to stop the tears as they began rolling down his cheeks.  He kept his cries silent as he forced himself to look at Justin.

 

Justin only narrowed his eyes again.  “Sorry just isn’t gonna cut it this time, Josh,” he said, gripping Josh’s shoulder and pushing him down to the ground.  “Get on your knees, faggot.” 

 

Josh collapsed onto his knees as he was told and kept quiet as Justin began undoing his pants.  “Lets see what else those pretty lips are good for, yeah Josh?” Justin said, his mouth curling into a smirk as he took a hold of Josh’s hair again.

 

Josh wished he could just get used to it.  As many times as it’s happened, the pain should’ve left him by now.  Yet it remained in his bones, that aching feeling he felt at the pit of his stomach every time.  That aching feeling that will return to him when he closes his eyes.  That ache that will flood his lungs and suffocate him until all he can see are the memories that he will never be able to wish away.

 

And that ache stayed with him when he left the bar that night and he climbed into his car.  It settled into his chest and made his throat throb, as if he was drowning.  

 

He sat frozen in his car for God knows how long, staring at the traffic that sped past the bar.  The emptiness that made its home in his lungs travelled to his head, making everything blurry.  Staring at the cars that drove down the streets, the what ifs of self destruction creeping like a shadow into his thoughts.  

 

‘ _ I could pull the steering wheel’ _ Josh began to fantasize, terrified of how the image of headlights coming at him brought him peace. 

 

He quickly put his keys into the ignition and drove out of the parking lot. His hands shook as he gripped the steering wheel, terrified he may do something he'd regret. 

 

It was selfish of him to have thoughts like that. How could he just leave Abby like that? She'd never forgive him. 

 

Josh had never been so grateful to see the gleam of the shitty bonfire Pete always set up. He parked next to overpass and turned off the ignition. 

 

Taking in a deep breath, he quickly checked himself in the mirror to make sure nothing looked out of the ordinary. Besides the canvas of black and blue that scattered his jaw, he looked fine. 

 

Josh hopped out of the car and walked over to the fire where everyone had gathered as usual. Greeted by hellos and heys, Josh sat down next to Abby, making sure she could only see the side that wasn't decorated with bruise. 

 

“Home late again?” Abby said, making an obvious attempt to not sound suspicious. 

 

“Yeah, some shitheads trashed the bar so clean up took awhile,” Josh lied, making sure his voice was quiet enough that only Abby could hear him. It was bad enough Abby worried about him working at a bar, he didn't need the power couple and Hayley to worry over him either. 

 

“People are the worst,” Abby replied, curling his knees up to her chest and scooting a little closer to the fire. 

 

Josh nodded his head in agreement and slid next to Abby, resting his cheek on her shoulder.  He shut his eyes and forced himself to relax when her hand made it’s way to his hair.  Her gentle strokes were a relief to his throbbing scalp.  

 

“So Patrick took me out to look for a job today,” Abby began, twisting a piece of Josh’s hair around her finger. 

 

“Oh?” Josh replied, opening his eyes to look up at her, urging her to continue. 

 

“Yeah, there’s not too much around that I could really do, but there was one I saw,” she continued, biting down on the tip of her thumb.  

 

“And what would that be?” Josh asked, ignoring his sister’s nervous habit. 

 

“I saw a help wanted sign outside of Vessel Bar,” Abby answered, speaking so fast Josh barely understood her.  But he understood the dread that filled him when the words fell off her tongue. 

 

Josh stood up quickly, grabbing Abby’s wrist and pulling her away from the bonfire.  The other three gave them an odd look as Josh dragged Abby over to a corner of the shelter.  Panic swam through his veins and soon turned to anger as he stared at Abby.

 

“No  _ no no no no _ \- absolutely not, no way,” Josh refused, pacing back and forth in front of Abby.  He tugged desperately at his hair as he tried to think of a good argument to use against his ridiculously stubborn sister.

 

Abby narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.  “Why not?  You work there,” she retorted, venomously.  

 

“You can’t work there, you’re too young,” Josh argued, trying to look for any excuse he could find.

 

Abby scoffed and rolled her eyes.  “You started working there when you were eighteen, that’s only a year difference,” she shot back, “you’re being a complete hypocrite right now.”

 

“Why do you even want to work at the bar, Abby?” Josh asked, “you hate that place without even being there.  Why on earth would you want to work there?” 

 

“Cause I need to make sure you’re okay!” Abby practically shouted, frustration lacing her words.  

 

“I’m not an idiot, Josh, I can tell something’s wrong and has everything to do with whatever is going on at that bar.  Do you think I don’t notice when you come back with scratches and bruises?  And not to mention the way you’ve been acting lately.  You’ve been so distant and you can barely stand to be around me anymore.”  Abby was shaking now, tears streaming her cheeks.  She barely took a breath in between words, causing her to gasp violently as she cried.

 

“You don’t need to worry about me, Abbs,” Josh tried, his voice gentle.  He stepped closer to her, but she just backed up.

 

“Bullshit!” she spat, “I’m your sister, damn it, of course I’m going to worry about you.  I know you think you’re the only one that can since you have this  _ stupid  _ big brother complex, but that’s not how it works, okay?  You are all I have, Josh, and I just want you to be okay.” 

 

The words came out messily between sobs and gasps for air.  Her hair stuck to her face, tears acting like glue on her skin.  Josh slowly moved towards her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.  He pushed the hair away from her face, his fingers gliding it through it soothingly as he hushed her sobs.

 

“I just need you to trust me, Abbs,” Josh sighed, exhausted.  “Please, I’m begging you not to do this.  I’m fine, I promise.” 

 

Abby let out a shaky breath.  “I can’t just let this go, Josh,” she stated, her lip quivering, making the words vibrate inaudibly.  

 

“Please,” Josh pleaded, his voice breaking.  He blinked away spots and tears that clouded his vision.  He wanted nothing more than for this to end. 

 

Abby lifted her head from Josh’s chest and stared into his dark eyes.  “Look at me and tell me you’re okay.  That everything is fine and I have nothing to worry about.  Promise me you are okay and  _ safe _ , and I’ll let it go.” 

  
Josh forced his lips into a weak smile.  “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty shitty considering it's been so long without an update (at least long for me). You guys deserve a better chapter after a lack of update, but this was the best I could do. Sorry for no Josh&Tyler this chapter, I promise I'll make up for it with a fluffy filler chapter.  
> Hope you guys enjoyed and let me know what you think in the comments!


	15. Chapter 15

When Brendon had told Tyler to take the keys to the car, he thought his one night stand would be taking him to his house, not to  _ Tyler _ ’s apartment.  Tyler felt no ounce of love for Brendon when he came home to a messily written sticky note on  _ his  _ bedroom door. 

 

Now Tyler found himself on his couch  _ again _ in the earlier hours of the morning.  The low volume of the tv chatted in the background as Tyler stared out the window, watching the sun slowly rise from the horizon and give the sky a warm glow.  He had to work a night shift tonight, which meant he was gonna totally regret the all-nighter.  

 

Tyler wasn’t sure if his lack of sleep was to blame on his own insomniac habits or the fact his best friend forced him away from the comfort of  _ his  _ bed.  Tyler cringed when he realized he was gonna need to wash  _ his  _ sheets. 

 

As he gazed out the window, Tyler’s mind began to wander away from the present.  He focused on the previous night and the inevitable thought of Josh entered his mind.  Part of him wanted to pass it off as Josh having an off day - everyone has those - but something else inside him told him otherwise.  

 

But Tyler couldn’t just make assumptions about Josh’s life, nor did he have the right too.  If something was wrong and Josh wanted to tell him, then Tyler would just have to be patient.  Josh didn’t owe Tyler any information, as much as Tyler wanted to know.

 

Maybe Tyler could stop by the gas station to talk to Josh.  Even if Josh didn’t tell him anything, maybe Tyler could make him feel better about whatever was upsetting him.

 

Tyler was pulled from his thoughts and back to the present at the sound of the bedroom door opening.  Turning his gaze towards the sound, Tyler narrowed his eyes as the dark haired boy quietly stepped out of the room.  

 

“Hi bestest friend in the whole entire world,” Brendon greeted, his voice hushed and as he softly closed the door.  He walked over to the couch and sat down next to Tyler, crossing his legs over each other.

 

Tyler shot a glare at this supposed best friend.  “You’re the worst,” Tyler replied, simply.  He scooted towards the end of the couch, away from Brendon.

 

“Oh come on!  It’s not my fault,” Brendon defended, “we were gonna go to his apartment, but he forgot that his parents were at his place watching his kid.” 

 

Tyler raised an eyebrow.  “You fucked a dad?  Wow Bren, didn’t know you were into those,” he commented, chuckling as a blush decorated Brendon’s cheeks. 

 

“Oh shut up, it’s not like I knew about the kid when I was sucking his neck in the bathroom of the bar,” Brendon remarked, slyly.  “Though, that information did make him a little more attractive for some reason.” 

 

“Brendon fucking Urie, do you have a daddy kink?” Tyler asked, nearly losing it when Brendon’s face resembled a tomato.

 

Brendon shrugged and waved off his off embarrassment.  “I thought this was a no kinkshaming zone, Joseph.”

 

“Whatever Brendon, just no more fucking dads - or anyone -  in my bed, alright?” Tyler said, his tone light but his words a hundred percent serious.  “You can get your own place if you want a bed to get laid on.” 

 

Brendon laughed and smiled to himself as he eyes made a quick glance towards the bedroom.  “Ya know, if all goes well, that should be happening soon.” 

 

“Oh, wow Bren, don’t you think you’re moving a bit fast there?” Tyler replied, concern causing him to scrunch his eyebrows together.  “I mean, you’ve only just met the guy and you’ve only been associated with the physical parts of him.”

 

“Actually, after everything last night, him and I just stayed up talking almost all night,” Brendon said, “and he’s incredible, Ty.  I really like him.” 

 

Tyler wanted to support Brendon more than anything, but Tyler knew how this went.  Because Brendon fell in love too easily and got into things too quickly.  It’s why things went sour with Sarah, because Brendon hadn’t had the time to figure out how he really felt before he rushed things with her.  Then he went and fell in love with someone else, who wasn’t ready to match Brendon’s pace.  Tyler feared that Brendon was just gonna hand his barely healed heart over to someone who would stomp on it like everyone else. 

 

“Oh please don’t give me that look,” Brendon said, exasperated.  

 

“What look?” Tyler asked.

 

“The same look when I told you about Jackson in middle school, and Spencer in eleventh grade.  The same look when I told you I was engaged to Sarah, and the same look when I came to you about Ryan,” Brendon explained, looking a little frustrated.

 

Tyler sighed.  “Well I can’t be the only one noticing the pattern here, Bren,” he said, his voice soft.  “Each one of those ended in heartache and heartbreak.  I just don’t want to see you hurt again, especially when you’re still getting over Sarah and Ryan.”

 

“Maybe I need someone to help me get over them,” Brendon argued, petulantly. 

 

“Well that’s not really fair to that someone,” Tyler retorted, “how can you ever be theirs if you’re still busy being someone else’s?  Humans are people, not crutches.” 

 

“Look Ty, if I needed someone to judge my unhealthy coping habits and emotions, I’d go back to my therapist,” Brendon joked, though Tyler could tell there was sincerity behind his words.

 

“I just care about you, okay?  I want you to be happy,” Tyler told him, worry never leaving his chest.  Tyler couldn’t keep watching Brendon get hurt time and time again.  

 

“Just trust me okay?  This one is different, I can feel it,” Brendon assured, a grin making its way onto his face.

 

Tyler opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the bedroom door opening once again.  A familiar figured stepped out of the bedroom and stifled a yawn.  “Hey Brendon, do you mind if I use your sho -  _ Tyler _ ?” 

 

“ _ Dallon _ ?” Tyler gaped, quickly averting his gaze away from his half naked boss.  

 

Brendon’s eyebrows shot upwards as he stared between the two of them.  “You guys know each other?” 

 

“He’s my boss,” Tyler answered, an uncomfortable feeling settling in his stomach.  Tyler wasn’t sure how he felt about the fact his best friend was fucking his boss. 

 

“Oh,” Brendon said, curling his lips as giggles threatened to escape his throat.  “Well isn’t this just perfectly awkward.” 

 

“You’re telling me,” Dallon muttered under his breath before forcing an awkward smile onto his lips.  “Well I’m gonna go put more clothes on.”

 

“I think that would be for the best,” Tyler said, his eyes looking everywhere but where Dallon stood.  The man quickly shuffled back into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

 

Tyler stared at Brendon with wild eyes.  “You slept with  _ my boss _ ?” Tyler nearly screeched, smacking Brendon’s arm, making him wince.

 

“Hey!  It’s not like I knew!  Gee, when we were taking our clothes off each other, the first thing that came to mind to ask him definitely wasn’t, ‘Hey, are you my best friend’s boss?’” Brendon retorted, rubbing his arm.  

 

Tyler cringed and felt the need to be sucked by a black hole.  “Stop!  I do not need to be hearing about you taking my boss’s clothes off.”

 

Brendon threw his head back laughing at Tyler.  “Geez Ty, it’s not like he’s not human - he has needs,” Brendon said, making it so much worse. 

 

Tyler shook his head and swung his legs over the couch.  He grabbed his shoes that he lazily took off the night before and began throwing them on.  “I’m sorry, but I’m out, I don’t need to be thinking about my best friend and boss having sex in my bed.”  That definitely wasn’t a sentence Tyler thought he would ever be saying.

 

“Are you going to the gas station?” Brendon asked, “because we could use more condoms.”

 

“Lalalala!  I can’t hear you!”  Tyler shouted, quickly snatching his wallet and apartment keys.  He said goodbye to Brendon by giving him the finger and he hurriedly left the apartment.  He rushed down the stairs and made his way to the gas station.  

 

The sky was painted with gray and the smell of petrichor was strong, but not a drop of water fell from the sky.  The sun was hiding behind the dark clouds, forcing the temperature to drop.  A shiver ran up Tyler’s spine and he instantly regretted not grabbing a jacket. 

 

Tyler was grateful for the warmth of the gas station as he pushed opened the front door, an annoying buzz going off through the store.  Tyler’s gaze immediately went over to the front counter where an even warmer smile greeted him. 

 

“Wow, I can’t get rid of you for one day, huh?”  Josh joked, setting down a magazine he had been flipping through.  Tyler’s stomach did gymnastics when penny eyed boy laughed.  

 

“Sorry, it’s just I needed to get out of my apartment for a bit,” Tyler explained, his cheeks tinted with pink - which he blamed the cold air for.  “Besides, you could use my company.  This gas station is practically a ghost town.” 

 

Josh furrowed his eyes as he looked at the frazzled expression on Tyler’s face.  “How come you needed to get ot?” he asked, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy. Tyler wanted to punch something because  _ no one _ should be allowed to be that cute.

 

Tyler waved him off.  “Trust me, you don’t want to hear about it.”

 

Josh rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless.  “Oh c’mon Ty, if I didn’t want to hear about it, I wouldn’t be asking.” 

 

“Ty?  Wow, I didn’t know we were on a nickname basis,” Tyler teased, smirking when a blush rose to Josh’s cheeks.

 

“Hey, you started it,” Josh defended, laughing when Tyler’s expression became puzzled.  “I mean, last I checked, my name wasn’t  _ Jishwa _ .” 

 

Tyler hid his face behind his hands and began massaging his temples as Josh giggled.  “I was really hoping you wouldn’t remember that night,” Tyler groaned, a monologue of screaming just blaring through his head as he recalled that night.

 

“How could I forget the night Tyler Joseph told me he liked my face?” Josh replied, a smile painted on his lips.  It was the smile where he stuck his tongue out between his teeth and his eyes sparkled.  Tyler loved that smile - it definitely beat the artificial ones he had been getting from him lately.

 

“It’s a nice face, and I’m sure any guy would agree with me,” Tyler said, wishing that stupid blush would leave his cheeks.  “Or girl - sorry, I, uh, don’t really know what you’re into.” 

 

Another laugh escaped Josh’s lips as he appreciated how awkward Tyler was.  “Guys are good,” Josh stated, “how about you?”

 

“Both is good,” Tyler said, “though I’ve never really been with a guy before.” 

 

Josh raised his eyebrows.  “Really?” he questioned, surprised. 

 

Tyler shrugged.  “I’ve only ever been with two people so yeah,” he said, “when you’re homeschooled your entire life, your social life is pretty thin.  And not a lot of people really want to go out with the awkward kid who read anatomy books for fun.”

 

“Well that’s their lost,” Josh said, his smile soft.  “Anyway, tell me why you had to seek refuge away from your apartment.” 

 

Tyler groaned and walked over to Josh, hopping onto the counter and swinging his legs back and forth.  He pretended he didn’t notice the giant bruise that decorated his jaw - he knew Josh wouldn’t tell him anything.  “Brendon slept with my boss.” 

 

“Well that’s not too bad-”

 

“In my apartment - in my bed.  And I got to see my boss half naked this morning,” Tyler cut him off, not able to stop the word vomit that was coming out.  “And Brendon thinks he’s incredible and sees them moving in together - which makes no sense after one night of knowing each other!  So I think he’s just going to use him to forget about Sarah and Ryan and then just leave Dallon - which will then make it awkward between him and me.  Either that or Dallon only wanted a one night stand and he’ll break Brendon’s heart - which is already pretty beat up.”

 

Josh stared at Tyler with wide eyes as he exhaled the breath he didn’t know he was holding.  “Oh wow. I guess that is pretty bad,” Josh said, biting the skin around his nails, looking unsure.  “Well, there isn’t really anything you can do about it, so I wouldn’t worry about it.” 

 

Tyler scoffed.  “It’s my best friend - how can I not worry?” 

 

“I understand you don’t want Brendon getting hurt - but isn’t that the point of being young?  To love, live, and hurt?” Josh questioned, “We gotta hurt while we can still learn.  If it doesn’t work out, then it’ll suck, but it won’t always suck.  But if it does work out, wouldn’t that be amazing?” 

 

Tyler laughed a little under his brother.  “Dang Jishwa, didn’t know you were so wise,” he replied, enjoying how the nickname rolled off his tongue.

 

“I’m actually not, those are just song lyrics,” Josh said, making Tyler snort.  “But the meaning is still sincere.”

 

Tyler rolled his eyes.  “So you really think the heartbreak is really worth it?” 

 

Josh smiled softly and shrugged.  “I think love is worth anything, but maybe I’m just a sap that’s watched too many Hallmark movies.” 

 

Tyler returned the smile.  “Hey, are you free sometime this weekend?” he asked, his heart practically trying to burst through his chest with how fast it was thundering. 

 

“Uh, I’m free on Sunday, why?” Josh asked, picking at the scabs around his nailbed.

 

“Well, uh, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out maybe?” Tyler asked, wanting to kick himself for how he stumbled over and repeated  his words.  

 

Josh’s eyes widened in surprise before warmth overcame his eyes and smile.  “Yeah, sure, that’d be great,” he answered, “do you want me to come by your apartment?  Because there’s no way I’m just gonna let you walk around everywhere.” 

 

Tyler laughed as relief flooded his veins and his heart chilled out a little.  “Sure, if you want to and don’t mind.  How does six sound?” 

  
Josh’s smile grew a little bigger.  “It sounds perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a lot of fun to write and I'm really happy with how it turned out.  
> I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did! Let me know what you think! I always appreciate your guys' feedback!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another flashback chapter that nobody asked for  
> ooooh well

_ Three years ago _

 

Josh slammed his bedroom door as hard as he could once he got home.  He ripped off the stupid black tie that was suffocating him and peeled off the suit that was much too big on him.  The suit that was given to him by the bastard that couldn’t even show up for his own son’s funeral.

 

Throwing himself onto his bed, Josh fell onto his back and his hands collapsed on top of his stomach.  He stared up at the ceiling, not even bothering to wipe away the tears that were forming streams on his cheeks.  He inhaled ragged breaths, his chest seemed to be caving in on his lungs. 

 

A million emotions swirled inside of Josh, making his bones cold and his skin crawl.  He wanted to scream, maybe that would release the hurricane that was tearing him apart from the inside out.  His hands made their way towards his hair and he began to pull at it in frustration, tufts of red hair coming out between his fingers.  A sob racked his shoulders and he curled himself into a fetal position, shaking as his cries grew louder and more uncontrollable. 

 

‘ _ It should have been me, it should have been me, it should have been me.’   _ That mantra had been on a loop in Josh’s thoughts for over a week now and no matter how many time his sister assured him it wasn’t true, it didn’t stop it from playing in his mind.

 

Josh tried to shut his eyes closed, trying to ease the throbbing headache, but all he saw was red lights every time he closed them.  His ribs sent him a painful reminder of what happened every time he tried to move.  The doctors told him he was lucky.

 

He didn’t feel lucky.

 

Josh quietened his sobs and quickly wiped his face when he heard a knock at his door.  “Go away,” he shouted, pathetically.  His voice was raspy and the use of it made his throat hurt.  

 

“Josh?”  Abby asked, her voice quiet and small as she slowly opened the door.  Josh turned himself slowly to look at his sister, forcing himself to sit up.

 

“Abbs?” Josh asked back, a little in awe.  Ever since the accident, Abby had refused to even look at Josh, let alone be in the same room as him.  Josh didn’t blame her though.  It was his fault her favorite brother was dead.

 

“Can I come in?” she asked, standing awkwardly in the doorway of his bedroom. 

 

“Of course you can,” Josh answered, gently.  He scooted to the front of his bed, making room for her.  She sniffed a ‘thank you’ as she entered his room. 

 

She crawled onto the bed and curled up next to Josh, laying her head in his lap.  Slowly, Josh brought his fingers to hair and softly combed his fingers through it.  A smile twitched on his lips when as he watched his sister relax beneath his touch.

 

“Why didn’t dad come to the funeral?” Abby asked.  Josh felt a painful tug at his chest when he heard how broken Abby’s voice sounded.  

 

“I wish I had an answer, Abbs,” Josh sighed, anger burning his veins at the thought of his father.  “There isn’t really a good excuse for this.” 

 

“Jordan would’ve been so disappointed,” Abby told him, her voice cracking.  “Dad was everything to him.” 

 

“I know,” Josh sniffed, wiping his sleeve across his nose.  

 

A cry broke from Abby’s lips and she buried her face in her hands.  “I just want him back,” she sobbed, her shoulders shaking.  “I just want this to be some terrible nightmare that I could just wake up from.   I’d wake up and he’d still be here.” 

 

“I wish we could trade places,” Josh admitted, “you were right back at the hospital.  It should have been me.”  Josh inhaled sharply as more tears threaten to spill.

 

Abby quickly sat up from his lap and threw her arms around his shoulders, catching him by surprise.  The impact made his ribs ache, but he didn’t mind.  “I’m so sorry Josh,” Abby sobbed into the crook of his neck.  “I should’ve never said that - I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it.”

 

Josh wrapped his arms around her.  “You were right though.”

 

Abby shook her head vigorously.  “No  _ no no no!  _ Don’t you dare say that, Josh,” she said, pulling away from his embrace, but remaining in his lap.  “Josh, I am so happy you’re alive, okay?  I’m so happy you and Ashley are fine.  I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had lost all of you.”

 

Guilt still swam in his chest like a shark in the water.  “None of this would have never happened if it weren’t for me,” he choked, not able to stop the tears from streaming down.  “It’s all my fault, Abbs.” 

 

“No it’s not, okay?”  Abby tried to reassure, “ It was the guy who decided he needed to cut in front of you without warning’s fault, okay?  You couldn’t have done anything - this isn’t your fault.”

 

“Now you look me in the eye and you tell me that this wasn’t your fault,” Abby demanded, pressing her hands against Josh’s cheeks and forcing him to look at her.  Josh opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a choked sob.  “I need you to tell yourself it wasn’t your fault, Josh, okay?”

 

“I-it wasn’t my fault,” Josh said, weakly. 

 

“It wasn’t your fault.” 

 

“It wasn’t my fault,” Josh repeated, a little more forcefully.  It seemed like Josh was a pane of glass holding back a flood and the small crack grew bigger and bigger.  No longer being able to hold the hurricane in, Josh crumbled into a pile of broken sobs and ragged gasps for breath.

 

Abby wrapped her arms around her brother again, rubbing his back soothingly and she whispered small assurances.  “It’s okay, you’re okay,” she repeated over and over again.  “Everything is going to be alright.” 

 

After a few moments passed, Josh forced his breath to steady and he patted Abby on the back.  “I need some water,” he mumbled as Abby crawled off his lap and back onto his bed.

 

Josh stood up from his bed and left his bedroom, heading downstairs towards the kitchen.  On his way to the kitchen, he passed the living room where his dad sat on the couch, a half empty beer bottle in his hand.  

 

“Of course,” Josh spat, shooting daggers at his dad.  “Of course you went to the damn bar instead of your own son’s funeral.  When we all needed you the most, you went and found solace in a glass that will always end up empty.” 

 

His father returned the glare.  “I don’t need your shit,” he grunted, his words a little slurred.

 

“If I have to deal with your shit, you have to deal with mine,” Josh retorted, crossing his arms over his chest.  “How could you?  Do you care about anyone but yourself?”

 

“I cared about Jordan,” his dad hiccuped, his eyes growing glossy.  “And he’d still be here if it wasn’t for you.  There wouldn’t have been a need for a funeral if you hadn’t killed him!”

 

“It wasn’t my fault,” Josh tried pathetically.  He knew he wasn’t trying to convince his dad. 

 

His father scoffed.  “It was you that was driving the damn car, so don’t even try that bullshit,” he shot back, his words like venom.  “It should’ve been you that died.” 

 

“It’s not my fault that car hit us, there was nothing I could’ve done,” Josh repeated Abby’s words, hoping it would be enough. 

 

“Just shut up would ya?” his father shouted before chucking the bottle straight towards Josh.  He was able to duck his face away, but the bottle just ended up smashing into his shoulders. 

 

Josh cried out in pain as he felt the glass embed into his shoulder, the alcohol that was left in the bottle burning the open wound.  His fingers ghosted around the glass, too terrified to touch it.  He felt the world start spinning as he watched blood pour from his broken skin.

 

He heard fast footsteps come down the stairs and he turned to see both his sisters coming down.  Ashley’s eyes blazed with fury as she looked at the scene before her. 

 

“What the hell did you do?” Ashley screeched, quickly telling Abby to go back to her room as she ran over to Josh.  She stared at the shard of glass in Josh’s shoulders before whipping her head to look at her drunk father.  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

 

Ashley ran over to the kitchen and returned with an old rag, gingerly placing it around the piece of glass.  She gently grabbed Josh by the arm and ushered Josh towards the front door.  “Come on Josh, I need to take you to the hospital, you’re probably going to need stitches,” she told him carefully.

 

Ashley brought him over to her car, unlocking it and helping him get into the passenger seat, careful not to disturb his wound.  She slammed the door closed and hopped into the driver’s seat, hurriedly turning on the car and driving away from the house. 

 

“You’re gonna be okay, Josh,” Ashley soothed, but Josh ignored her.  He stared out the car window and watched the world go by in a blur.  The moment played over and over in his head, the guilt suddenly feeling fresh in his chest because his father was right.

  
It was all his fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this is the last flashback chapter, and I promise that the date will be in the next chapter! I would hate to make you guys wait for these two dorks finally getting together.  
> Hope you guys enjoyed and let me know what you think! x


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT IS HERE MY FRENS   
> and it's also the longest chapter i've written for this fic so i'm pretty proud of myself

 

Sunday came quicker than Josh was expecting, which was something he wasn’t sure if should be happy about.  The panic that riddled his bones and caused him to pace back forth told him no.  Josh really wished he could be excited about something without his anxiety ruining it every fucking time. 

 

Josh ran his fingers through his hair for the millionth time as he continued to check the clock on his car radio.  He still had about ten minutes before he needed to leave.

 

“Josh, could you please tell me why you’ve gone through half a pack of gum in one hour?” Abby asked, walking up to where Josh stood outside his car, the half emptied pack in her hand.  

 

“So I wouldn’t chew my nails off,” Josh answered, leaning against the hood of the car and looking down at his nails that were already bitten down into stubs.  The skin around them was red and scabbed from his constant picking, but it was a habit Josh still hadn’t been able to kill. 

 

“Someone must be nervous,” Abby commented, sliding next to him.  “What’s got your stomach all tied up?” 

 

Josh scratched the back of his neck and smiled awkwardly.  “I’m, uh, going on a date,” he answered, wincing at the high pitched squeal that escaped Abby’s lips.

 

“Really?  Is it with Tyler?” Abby asked, clutching onto Josh’s arm and bouncing up and down with excitement. 

 

Josh couldn’t help that smile that made its way onto his face.  “Yeah, it’s with Tyler,” he replied, laughing when Abby began to clap her hands wildly.

 

“Did you ask him out or….?” Abby asked, the questions continually pouring out of her mouth.

 

“Nah, he asked me out actually,”  Josh said, which just caused more incomprehensible screeching to come out of Abby as she shook Josh back and forth. 

 

Abby paused her excitement for a moment to take a look over at Josh.  “You’re going on a date dressed like that?” she asked, taking his clothes between her fingers and giving a judgemental look only God should be allowed to give. 

 

“What’s wrong with my clothes?” he asked, pouting as he took a glance at his outfit. 

 

“Nothing, it’s just your jeans have holes big enough for you to fit your head through and that’s literally the only shirt you ever wear,” Abby ranted.

 

Josh hugged his shirt protectively.  “Hey, don’t hate on the NASA t-shirt,” Josh defended, making his sister roll her eyes.  “Besides, he’s seen me in these jeans and shirt before, and I haven’t heard any complaints yet so yeah.” 

 

“What if he’s taking you somewhere nice?” Abby pointed out.

 

“I highly doubt it, I think we’re just hanging out at his apartment or whatever,” Josh said, “God knows I’d rather do that than go to some snobby restaurant.” 

 

Josh chuckled when Abby gave him an uncertain look.  “Hey, you said it yourself - a date is just two people enjoying each other’s company.  And I’ll enjoy being with Tyler no matter where we go or what we do.” 

 

“You really like him, huh?” Abby questioned, smiling softly as she stared at her brother. 

 

Josh returned the smile.  “Yeah, he’s really great,” he said, before that oh-so familiar dread came swooping in.  “Oh gosh, what if I do something to screw it up?  

 

“Oh dear big brother, always the pessimist,” Abby said, throwing an arm around his shoulders.  “You will be just fine, okay?  He already likes you!  You have absolutely nothing to worry about, you’re a great guy and obviously this Tyler sees that.  Don’t ruin it with your paranoia, okay?” 

 

Josh nodded and peered into the car to look at the time.  “Oh shit, I gotta go,” Josh announced when he read ‘5:49’ on the clock.  

 

The two hopped off the hood and Abby gave him a quick hug goodbye.  “Have fun Josh - and you better tell me everything when you come back,” Abby told him very seriously.  

 

Josh laughed and nodded as he climbed into the driver’s seat.  “I promise, I promise - now move out of the way before I end up hitting you,” Josh said as he turned on the car and pulled away from his spot next to the overpass. 

 

Butterflies made themselves home in Josh’s stomach, fluttering inside him as he drove away from the shelter and towards Tyler’s apartment.  Josh wanted to be excited, but everything he had learned from life told him that something terrible was going to happen and ruin everything.  And that something was probably going to be all Josh’s fault.

 

Once Josh made it to the front of the apartment building, he parked the car next to the pavement and pulled the key out of the ignition.  Stepping out the car, Josh took a quick glance at himself in the mirror and started fussing over his hair - trying to make it look somewhat decent.  When it refused to stay where he wanted it, he gave up and locked the car. 

 

Walking over to the staircase, Josh made his way up to Tyler’s apartment.  “213, 213, 213,” Josh repeated to himself, worried he may forget the number.  

 

When he reached the second floor, he began walking down the corridor, glancing at each door as he searched for the right number.  Once his eyes landed on ‘213’, he stared at the door for a few moments, his fist hovering in front of it.  Taking a breath, he forced himself to knock on the door. 

 

Josh was taken aback at how quickly Tyler opened the door and was now face to face with him.  The other boy wore a grin that made his eyes shine like honey.  It definitely didn’t help the butterflies that refused to calm down. 

 

“Hey,” Tyler greeted.

 

“Hey,” Josh repeated, a little breathless. 

 

“C’mon in,” Tyler said, opening the door a little wider and stepping to the side to allow Josh to enter in through the doorway. 

 

Like Tyler, his apartment was warm and cozy.  Right next to the front door to the left of him was an old wooden piano which was covered in crumbled up pieces of paper. In front of him was a small dining set with two chairs and a table that was cluttered with notebooks and keys.  

 

To the left of him was a gray sofa that was littered with a million pillows and two chairs that sat diagonally on each side of the sofa.  An worn looking coffee table stood in the middle of the chairs and sofa, candles and potted plants lining the top of it.  An old chest with a couple drawers sat in front of the table, a record player and a small tv sitting on top of it.  On either side of the chest was two bookshelves, each containing notebooks, vinyl sleeves, movies, and books.  There were also two doors on each end of the wall.

 

In the corner of the room was a large window that looked out into their small town, the glass decorated with strung up fairy lights.  Pillows and blankets were scattered in front of the window, a couple books lazily thrown next to them. 

 

Adjacent to the window was tiny kitchen with white cabinets that looked like they were on the brink of falling apart.  Despite the worn down look of the kitchen, it was brightened up with many potted plants sitting on the counters and fairy lights hanging from the cabinets.

 

“Your apartment is really nice,” Josh complimented, a twinge of envy sitting in the pit of his stomach.  He wished he could give a place like this for Abby to call home. 

 

“Oh thanks, sorry it’s a little messy,” Tyler apologized, scratching the back of his neck.  “I was busy with trying to kick Brendon out for the night and I didn’t really get to tidy it up or whatever.”

 

Josh waved him off.  “No, it’s nice - homey, like someone actually lives here,” he assured, thinking the messy nature of the apartment fit with Tyler perfectly.  

 

Tyler chuckled a little.  “I’m gonna take that as a compliment,” he replied, “you can go ahead and make yourself comfortable on the couch.  I didn’t really plan too much for us to do, I thought you’d prefer it if we just chilled out.” 

 

“That’s perfectly fine,” Josh said, walking over to the gray sofa and plopping down.  He was relieved Tyler wasn’t taking him out anywhere nice or doing anything special.  Josh would’ve just felt guilty for it. 

 

He watched Tyler busy himself in the kitchen, grabbing a bag of popcorn and throwing it into the microwave.  He grabbed the kettle that sat on the stove up and filled it up with water, returning it to the stove and turning the fire on.  

 

Tyler opened up one of the cabinets and pulled out two mugs - one that had some sort of Super Mario design on it and the other that was shaped like Hello Kitty. 

 

“Do you like cinnamon in your hot chocolate?” Tyler asked, taking out a couple packets of cocoa powder from a jar and tearing them open. 

 

“Um, I dunno, I’ve never tried it before,” Josh replied, sheepishly.  His hands creeped over to one of the many pillows that sat on the sofa and he wrapped his arms around the soft fabric. 

 

“What? Really?” Tyler gaped as he grabbed cinnamon from another cabinet.  “You have to try it, it’s like the best way to drink hot chocolate.” 

 

“Whatever you say Ty-guy,” Josh smiled, watching as Tyler sprinkled a little bit of cinnamon into each mug.  

 

The microwave beeped and Tyler pulled the popcorn out of the microwave, plopping it onto the counter.  He kneeled down and pulled out a large bowl from one of the lower cabinets.  After he finished pouring the popcorn into the bowl, the kettle began whistling and Tyler turned off the fire.  He poured the boiling water into the mugs and stirred the hot chocolate and cinnamon with the water. 

 

“Do you want marshmallows, whipped cream, or both?” Tyler asked, grabbing a bag of marshmallows from a cabinet and a can of whip cream from the fridge. 

 

“Just marshmallows please,” Josh answered, resting his head on the back of the sofa. 

 

Tyler scoffed as he dumped a handful of marshmallows into the Hello Kitty mug.  “What kind of heathen drinks hot chocolate without whipped cream?” 

 

Josh giggled as Tyler walked over to the sofa, setting the mugs and bowl of popcorn down onto the coffee table.  Josh grabbed the Hello Kitty mug and blew on it gingerly as Tyler walked over to one of the bookshelves.

 

“What’s your favorite album?” Tyler asked as his fingers traced over vinyl sleeves, his eyes scanning over the edges. 

 

“Uh, probably Transatlanticism,” Josh answered, fondly remembering their conversation back at the gas station.  It was only a week or so ago, but it felt like months since then.  

 

Tyler smiled softly as he pulled out a yellow vinyl sleeve, the infamous bird taking the spotlight on the large cover.  “Nice choice,” Tyler commented as he carefully pulled out the record and placed it onto the player.  “I still can’t believe you think Titles and Registration is the best song on the album.”

 

“I can’t believe you think A Lack of Colour is the best song on it,” Josh shot back, teasingly as Tyler set the needle down onto the record and music filled the tiny apartment. 

 

_ So this is the new year _

_ And I don’t feel any different _

_ The clanking of crystal  _

_ Explosions off in the distance _

 

“Lack of Colour is the happiest song on the album,” Tyler said, hopping onto the couch and shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

 

“It’s not suppose to be a happy album,” Josh pointed out, “the album is about a long distance relationship, which isn’t exactly the most joyful topic.” 

 

“That’s why Lack of Colour is the best,” Tyler remarked, “like, the whole album is just leading up to that song.  That’s why it’s the last song on the album, I think.  ‘Cause it’s like, yeah life and things in life suck, but there’s a hopeful undertone.” 

 

Josh shrugged and sipped his hot chocolate carefully.  “I guess I get what you mean, maybe I’m too much of a pessimist to enjoy happy songs,” Josh joked. 

 

“Yet you like the Beatles’s earlier stuff,” Tyler said, snickering when Josh rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. 

 

“I’m not having this argument again,” Josh said, grabbing some popcorn and tossing it into his mouth. 

 

Tyler just shrugged and laughed as he licked whipped cream off the top of his mug.  “So Josh,” Tyler began, licking whipped cream off his upper lip. 

 

“So Tyler,” Josh replied, crossing his legs over one another and turning his body so that he was facing Tyler.

 

“I told you that I’ve only been out with two people before, but how about you?  How many broken hearts have you left in your path?” Tyler asked, jokingly.

 

“I, uh, never really been out with anyone before,” Josh answered, a slight blush tinging his cheeks.  “This is like my first proper date.”

 

Tyler’s eyes widened in surprise.  “Wow, really?  I wasn’t expecting that.” 

 

“And why’s that?” Josh asked, tilting his head to the side as he looked at Tyler curiously.

 

Tyler shrugged, looking a little sheepishly.  “I dunno, I just painted you differently in my head when I first saw you.” 

 

“And what did this painting look like?” Josh asked, laughing, though it came out more nervous sounding than he meant to. 

 

“Uh, I thought you were some mysterious, brooding guy with punk hair and cool piercings who, uh,   charmed all the girls with the promise of free drinks and those pouty lips,” Tyler answered, the words rambling out of his mouth.  “I guess I know better than to judge a book by its cover now.”

 

Josh threw his head back laughing as Tyler’s face resembled a tomato.  “Oh shut up,” Tyler whined, kicking Josh in the knee. 

 

“Sorry, sorry - no need to kick me,” Josh said, pretending to wipe tears from his eyes once his laughter died out. 

 

“Well you deserved it,” Tyler replied, sticking his tongue out.  His eyebrow pulled together in concern as he watched Josh rub his knee, a slight grimace on his face.  “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to kick you that hard.”

 

Tyler leaned over to place his hand on Josh’s knee, the touch causing red flags to go off in Josh’s mind.  He jerked his knee away and jumped off the couch, away from Tyler.  Standing up, Josh forced his breath to steady and he blinked away the blur that clouded his vision.

 

Once the world quit spinning and his lungs stopped burning, Josh was meant with concern laced honey eyes.  Guilt and shame replaced the butterflies that were finally comfortable inside him and he wanted to run away from that moment. 

 

“You okay Josh?” Tyler asked, his face contorted into an expression of worry. 

 

Josh nodded frantically, not wanting Tyler to be concerned.  “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Josh tried to reassure, not sounding very convincing.  “I’ve got an old knee injury that makes it really sensitive so I don’t really like it when people touch my knee.” 

 

Tyler rolled his eyes, but gave Josh a soft smile.  “You know Josh, it’s not the smartest idea to lie about an injury to a nurse, right?” 

 

“Oh,” Josh said, dumbly, as he sat back down on the sofa.  “Sorry.” 

 

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me, Josh.  If you don’t want to tell me something, it’s okay, I understand.  Don’t think you owe me an explanation or anything, I don’t need to know anything you don’t want me to know,” Tyler assured, his words and smile warm.  “But just know I’m always willing to listen to anything you want to tell me, okay?” 

 

The butterflies creeped back into Josh’s stomach as he listened to Tyler.  How did Josh get so lucky so find someone like him?  “Thank you,” Josh told him, hoping those two words were enough to show his gratitude to Tyler’s kindness. 

 

“Of course,” Tyler smiled, “if you don’t want me to touch your knee or your leg or whatever, that’s fine.  You just tell me if something isn’t okay, alright?  I want you to be comfortable.” 

 

Josh bit down on his lip as he stared at Tyler.  “I-I don’t mind if you put your hand on my knee,” Josh said, hating how small his voice sounded. 

 

“Are you sure?  We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, I promise,” Tyler continued to assure.

 

Josh nodded.  “Yes, I’m sure,” he said, gently guiding Tyler’s calloused hand back to his knee.  “I’ll tell you if something isn’t okay.” 

 

Tyler scooted a little closer and slowly wrapped his other hand around Josh’s.  “Is this okay?” he asked, which Josh nodded in reply.  Tyler squeezed his hand and came even closer once he got the greenlight. 

 

“How about this?” Tyler asked, his voice hushed as he let go of Josh’s hand and his fingers trailed up his arm to his jaw.  Josh nodded again as Tyler cupped his cheek on the side that wasn’t bruised.  

 

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” Tyler said as he leaned closer to Josh, his gaze focused on Josh’s lips.  

 

Josh stared at Tyler’s eyes and felt a peace come over his bones when he wasn’t meant with a cold blue that resembled a hurricane, ready to tear him apart.  Instead he saw the deepest brown eyes, warm like a fire and sweet like honey.  Josh said nothing.

 

Josh’s eyes fluttered closed as Tyler slowly pressed his lips against Josh’s.  His lips were soft and tasted like hot chocolate and salt.  Josh’s hand made its way to Tyler’s hair, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss.  

 

And there were no fireworks or angels singing as the two kissed, but it was everything Josh could’ve ever wanted.  It wasn’t rough or impatient, it was steady, warm, and sweet.  Josh felt himself yearning for more when Tyler pulled away for breath. 

 

“Are you good?” Tyler asked, breathlessly as he rested his forehead against Josh’s.

 

“I’m great,” Josh answered, savoring the taste of Tyler’s lips on his. 

 

“Are we moving too fast for you?” Tyler asked, his fingers trailing through Josh’s hair, his touch light and gentle.

 

Josh shook his head softly.  “No this is perfect,” Josh assured, his lips tracing against Tyler’s cheek, his skin soft and his scent sweet.  “You’re incredible.” 

 

“You’re pretty incredible yourself,” Tyler replied, planting one last chaste kiss on his lips before pulling away from his embrace.  “What do you want to do now?” 

 

“Anything you want, I don’t care,” Josh answered, the butterflies now moving up to his head and making everything spin.  Josh kinda just wanted to kiss Tyler again. 

 

“Wanna watch a movie?” Tyler asked, standing up from the couch and walking over to the chest that stood under the tv.  He lifted the needle off the record player, silencing the room.  He took the record out and placed it back into the sleeve and onto the shelf.

 

“What’cha got?” Josh asked, pushing himself into an upright position and grabbing his forgotten hot chocolate off the coffee table - thought it was more of a cold chocolate now.

 

“What’s your favourite movie?” Tyler asked, searching through one of the drawers of the chest.

 

“Um, probably Fight Club,” Josh replied, setting the Hello Kitty mug back onto the table. 

 

Tyler smiled as he pulled out a familiar movie case.  “Then we shall watch Fight Club,” Tyler announced, popping the DVD out of the case and setting it into the DVD player that sat on top of the television.

 

Grabbing the remote off the table, Tyler plopped back down onto the couch.  “Is this okay?” he asked as wrapped his arm around Josh’s shoulders. 

 

Josh hummed and pushed himself closer into Tyler’s side, resting his head against his chest.  Feeling Tyler’s heartbeat against his ear, he smiled.  “This is perfect.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it my friends, the fluffiest thing I have ever written in my life. I loved writing this chapter and I really hoped you guys enjoyed it as well! Please let me know what you think! Reading your guys' comments always makes my day <3


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Silly little filler chapter that has both POVs of Tyler and Josh because why not

Josh hadn’t even realized he fell asleep whilst still at Tyler’s place until the morning came and he still felt the rhythm of Tyler’s heart beating beneath his head.  Josh was laying on the very end of the couch, his back pressed into Tyler’s torso and their legs twisted together.  Tyler was squished against the back of the couch, his head resting on an abundance of pillows and his arm lazily wrapped around Josh’s shoulder.

 

Sunlight streamed from the giant window in the corner, the rays forcing Josh to squint his sleep ridden eyes.  He stared up Tyler’s sleeping face and smiled softly.  His lips were pursed together into a tiny pout, small snores escaping.  Josh felt himself slowly relaxing into the gentle rise and fall of Tyler’s chest.

 

As much as Josh wanted to remain in that moment forever, he knew he couldn’t.  He definitely didn’t plan on spending the night and he knew Abby was probably worried.  Even though it was tempting, Josh knew he needed to go. 

 

Slowly, Josh slid out from under Tyler’s embrace and sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb Tyler.  He stretched out his muscles and felt the relief of popping joints.  As he began putting on his sneakers, he felt Tyler shift on the sofa. 

 

“Josh?” Tyler called out, his voice soft and raspy with sleep.  Josh felt his chest flutter as he bit down on his lip.  There was something about boys and sleep ridden voices. 

 

“Hey sleepyhead,” Josh replied, turning to look at Tyler once he got his shoes on. 

 

Tyler rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands as an unattractive yawn escaped his lips.  “Wow, didn’t even realize we fell asleep on the couch last night,” Tyler mumbled, slowly sitting himself up into an upright position.  

 

“Yeah, me neither,” Josh said, watching as Tyler stretched his arms and his shirt lifted up, revealing a toned stomach.  Josh kinda found it unfair how attractive he was. 

 

“What time is it?” Tyler asked, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

 

“Uh, 7:06,” Josh answered after glancing at the clock that hung above the tv.  “I should probably get going, my sister is probably wondering where I am.”  

 

Tyler waved off his apologetic tone.  “That’s fine, I have a shift in an hour so I should probably start making myself look presentable for that.” 

 

Josh chuckled and let a soft smile rest on his lips as he looked at Tyler.  “I had a lot of fun last night,” he said, “and I know I don’t have a lot of experience, but I would definitely say that was a pretty solid date last night.” 

 

Tyler snorted and returned the smile.  “Thanks, I was - uh - a little worried I scared you off,” Tyler replied, sheepishly. 

 

“Oh no, of course not - sorry for being so weird last night,” Josh said, beginning to wring his fingers in between each other, fighting the urge to pick at his skin. 

 

“No need to apologize - really,” Tyler quickly assured, “I really like you Josh, so anything I need to do to make you feel comfortable, I’ll do.  We can go as slow as you want to, I honestly don’t mind.” 

 

Josh smiled and leaned towards Tyler, cupping his cheek in his hand.  He pressed their lips together and him  gave a quick kiss.  Despite both their morning breath and the kiss’s haste, it was still as wonderful as the first. 

 

“You’re amazing,” Josh told him once he pulled away from Tyler’s lips.  “Do you think we could do this again?”

 

“The date or kissing?” Tyler asked, teasingly as his fingers roamed through Josh’s hair. 

 

Josh laughed his he leaned his head into Tyler’s gentle touch.  “Both, both is good.” 

 

“Of course,” Tyler smiled, pressing a kiss into Josh’s cheek before swinging his legs over the couch and standing up.  “Well, I need to take a shower and you need to return home to fretting sister so.”

 

“See you around?” Josh said, standing next to Tyler and wrapping his arms around his neck.

 

Tyler smiled.  “Yeah, see ya around.”

 

The two shared one last kiss before Josh grabbed his things and reluctantly left Tyler’s apartment.  He travelled back down the corridor and down the stairs to where he parked his car.  Taking the keys out of his pocket, Josh unlocked the car and hopped into the driver’s seat.  He turned on the ignition and drove away from the apartment building and back towards the shelter.  

 

When Josh returned to the overpass and parked the car, he was practically attacked by his sister and everyone else. 

 

“Where have you been?” Abby screeched as Josh climbed out of the car.  

 

“I was at Tyler’s place, like I told you I was,” Josh replied, simply as he locked the car and leaned up against the door.  He watched in amusement as Abby stared at him widely and ran her fingers through her messy hair.

 

“Well you didn’t tell me you weren’t gonna be home last night,” Abby scolded, narrowing her eyes at Josh as she folded her arms over her chest.

 

“I wasn’t exactly planning on staying the night, but we fell asleep while watching a movie,” Josh explained. 

 

Abby raised an eyebrow at her brother suspiciously.  “Is that really what happened?  I mean, I’m a big girl Josh, there’s no need to lie to me-” 

 

“Oh my gosh Abbs, you’re ridiculous.  No I didn’t sleep with him,” Josh laughed, but the idea made his skin crawl.  Josh knew that wasn’t something that was going to be able to happen with Tyler for a long time - if it even lasted long enough for him to get out his situation with Justin.  

 

Abby chuckled as she leaned against the door next to Josh.  “Alright, alright, calm down,” she said, “now tell me all about it!”

 

Josh sighed happily as he recalled the date, the memories both fresh and blurry in his mind.  It seemed like it all happened in a blink of an eye and Josh cursed time for moving fast during the good moments.  “It was incredible,” he began, “we drank hot chocolate, ate popcorn, listened to music and just talked.  And it was so nice, ya know?  It didn’t even feel like a first date or anything, it was just like a perfect moment for us.” 

 

Abby smiled as she began to poke and shove Josh.  “Awe, Joshie, you’re such a cheeseball,” Abby teased, ruffling his hair. 

 

“We may have also kissed a couple times,” Josh mumbled, barely audible.  His cheeks became tinted with a blush as Abby’s eyes widened. 

 

Her jaw dropped as she began to squeal.  “Really?  Josh!  That’s amazing - was it good?  Was the kiss good?  Was it like a quick peck or was there tongue or-”

 

“Please Abbs, calm down,” Josh said, laughing as questions vomited out of his sister’s mouth.  “The kiss was amazing, it was absolutely perfect.” 

 

“That’s good, I’m glad you had fun,” she said, wrapping her hand around Josh’s and giving it a quick squeeze as she flashed him a smile. 

 

Josh returned the smile and rested his head on her shoulder.  “Me too.” 

  
  
  
  
  


When Tyler got home that evening, he was greeted by Brendon sitting on the couch with a bag of chips in his lap.  Once Tyler walked through the doorway and locked the door, Brendon began pelting him with chips.

 

“Woah!  What’s that for?” Tyler asked as he tried to dodge away from the flying snacks Brendon was sending his way. 

 

“That, my friend, is for not telling me you finally asked Josh out until yesterday when you were kicking me out of your apart to have said date,” Brendon explained, shooting daggers at Tyler as he threw a handful of chips into his mouth.  “What kind of best friend does that?” 

 

Tyler laughed as he picked up chips off the floor and threw them in the bin.  “Sorry, it just kinda slipped from my mind.”

 

Brendon scoffed and rolled his eyes.  “Yeah, I’m sure the fact you were finally going on a date with the guy you’ve been pining for weeks on just ‘slipped you mind’,” he said, “but you know what you can do to make up for this terrible friendship negligence.” 

 

“What is it that I can do?” Tyler asked, walking over to the sofa and sitting down next to Brendon.

 

“Give me all the juicy details about your date,” Brendon replied, grinning from ear-to-ear. 

 

Tyler chuckled and shrugged.  “There’s not much to tell really, we mostly just chilled out together - nothing out of the ordinary of what we’ve done at the gas station,” Tyler answered.

 

“Yeah right, Joseph, I’m sure there’s more to the story -  _ spill, _ ” Brendon said, throwing his legs onto Tyler’s lap. 

 

“Well, we might have kissed a little,” Tyler replied, smiling as he remembered the way Josh’s lips tasted and felt against his. 

 

“Oooh, and did this kissing lead to anything?” Brendon asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and managing to make himself look even more like an idiot than he already was.

 

“No, it did not, he barely let me touch his knee at first - that kiss definitely wasn’t going to go anywhere,” Tyler explained, rolling his eyes at Brendon.  

 

“Really?  Nothing?  Not even a little something something?” Brendon asked, making some weird-ass motion with hands.

 

“I don’t even know what the fuck you’re doing, Bren,” Tyler laughed, kicking Brendon’s hands to make him stop whatever the hell that was. 

 

Brendon rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless.  “So, he didn’t let you touch his knee at first?  That’s kinda odd,” he commented, shifting the subject. 

 

Tyler waved him off.  “I guess - I mean, I don’t really mind.  If he’s not comfortable with something, I’m not gonna tell him that his feelings are invalid just because I feel differently.” 

 

Brendon shrugged.  “As long as you’re cool with it, dude.” 

 

“So what did you do last night?” Tyler asked, wanting to take the attention off of him and Josh.  And if there was one thing Brendon liked to talk about, it was himself. 

 

“I actually went out with Dallon,” Brendon answered, his smile becoming a little smug. 

 

“Oh really?” Tyler asked, “and what did you guys do?” 

 

“He took me out to a lovely dinner and movie like a perfect gentleman,” Brendon said, his expression turning fond as he sighed dreamily. 

 

“That’s nice,” Tyler replied, trying to remain supportive.

 

“Yeah,” Brendon began, “except the movie we ended up seeing was such a bore so we just went to the bathroom and went into one of the stalls and just started making ou-” 

 

“Stop!  Brendon, please, I do not need to hear about you having sex with my boss in a movie theater bathroom,” Tyler interrupted, nearly gagging. 

 

“You’re ridiculous, Ty,” Brendon laughed.

 

“Whatever Breadbin,” Tyler teased, laughing when Brendon kicked him in the thigh.  “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I’m glad things seem to be going well with you and Dallon.” 

 

“Me too,” Brendon smiled, “he actually wants me to meet his daughter.”

 

Tyler raised an eyebrow.  “Really?  So soon?” 

 

Brendon nodded.  “Yeah, he says I’m going to have to receive her blessing and approval before we can even think about going any farther,” he explained, “it’s kinda adorable, really.” 

 

“And how do you feel about meeting his daughter?” Tyler asked, “do you think you’re ready to be with someone with a kid?” 

 

“Oh yeah, I’m sure.  I love kids and I’ve always wanted one - that’s what Sarah and I kinda bonded over when we were dating,” Brendon noted, a little sadly.  “And then Ryan had never even considered having kids so I thought I lost my chance.” 

 

“Things have really changed for you,” Tyler said, patting Brendon on the knee and giving him a soft smile. 

 

“Yeah, but that’s okay,” Brendon replied, “change is good.” 

 

Tyler nodded in agreement.  His mind began to wander as he thought about where he was a year ago.  Engaged to a woman who sleeping with someone behind his back.  Now looking where he was now, Tyler had to agree.

 

Change is good.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written so much fluff, and the next chapter is going to be even fluffier than this and I don't know if I'm going to be able to handle it. These two dorks are just too much for me to take.  
> Angst will inevitably happen so I gotta just let these two have their few moments before I ruin everything mwhaha   
> I hope you guys enjoyed it! Be sure to let me know what you guys think!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another fluffy chapter whaaaat? Who am I??

The one thing about living in California that Josh noticed was how unpredictable and just downright odd the weather was.  It would be the middle of November and it’d be in the seventies, and then it’d be the beginning of July and it’d be so windy he’d need to grab a jacket.  

 

That afternoon the early May sky was painted with only three shades of gray and rain drizzled down onto the pavement, hardly even creating puddle on the cement.  Despite it, it was still quite warm outside and Joe had the AC blowing through the gas station store.  

 

Josh sat alone in the empty gas station, playing around with the radio, desperately searching for something good to be playing.  The radio never played anything good though, all the songs were just okay.  

 

Giving up on the radio, Josh sat down in the chair behind the counter and stared at the front, hoping someone would come in so he’d have something to do.  Josh really couldn’t blame Joe was the shit pay he got, no one ever really came into the gas station. 

 

Looking up at the clock that hung above the door, relief washed over him when he realized his shift would be over in a mere twenty minutes.  

 

Josh perked up when the obnoxious buzzing noise echoed through the store, alerting him someone was there.  He turned his attention to the door and raised an eyebrow up in surprise. 

 

“Tyler?” he questioned, watching as the boy ran over to the counter with much enthusiasm.  “What are you doing here?  I thought you worked on Tuesdays.” 

 

“Only the morning shift, which means I have nothing to do for the rest of the day,” Tyler explained, a sly grin making its way onto his lips.  “And Brendon is out with Dallon, which means my usual form of entertainment is gone.” 

 

“So you’re here why?” Josh asked, holding back a giggle at how adorable Tyler looked.  He reminded Josh of an excited little kid who made something at school and just had to show it to his parents. 

 

“What time do you get off work?” Tyler asked, adjusting the straps on the backpack he was carrying with him.

 

“Uh, in like twenty minutes,” Josh answered.

 

“Perfect!  Let’s go on a date,” Tyler said, his grin becoming wider and his eyes sparkling like stars. 

 

Josh laughed as he stared at Tyler.  “We just went on our first date like two days ago, Tyler, what’s with the rush?” he asked, teasingly. 

 

“Because life is short and there’s something I want to show you,” Tyler explained, slowly grabbing Josh’s hand and giving it a little squeeze.  “So what do ya say?” 

 

“Sure, why not?” Josh giggled, his heart fluttering as Tyler’s smile glowed like the moon in the night sky.  “I guess you can hang out here till my shift ends, yeah?” 

 

As they waited the next twenty minutes, Tyler began to update Josh on the whole Brendon and his boss situation.  Josh’s eyes widened in surprise when he told him that Dallon wanted Brendon to meet his daughter.

 

“I mean, I don’t really know Brendon all that well, but I wouldn’t trust him with a kid,” Josh joked, making Tyler chuckle. 

 

Tyler waved him off though.  “Nah, I’m sure he’ll be fine, I’m just worried they’re rushing things, ya know?” Tyler said, concern making itself clear in his tone.  

 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Ty.  They both seem like great guys and if they want to take their relationship fast, you just gotta let them.  Like you said, life is short,” Josh replied, “you just gotta stop worrying that pretty little head of yours.” 

 

“And you once said you were shitty at advice,” Tyler laughed.

 

Josh opened his mouth to reply, but his attention was taken by the buzz going off again and Joe walking through the front door.

 

“Time to get outta here, Dun,” Joe said, motioning towards the door as he made his way to the counter.

 

“Hi Joe, it’s good to see you too,” Josh chuckled, hoping over the counter and joining Tyler on the other side.  

 

“Shall we go?” Tyler asked, reaching his hand out to Josh.  

 

Josh took Tyler’s hand and nodded.  Tyler grinned as the two walked out of the gas station and over to the parking lot.  Josh unlocked his car and the two hopped in.

 

“So where are you taking me?” Josh asked, turning the key into the ignition.

 

“Just go ahead and drive, I’ll give you the directions,” Tyler answered, slipping the backpack off his shoulder and setting it into his lap. 

 

After about fifteen minutes of driving, Josh realized the road Tyler was taking him was very familiar.  It finally clicked in his head when he started noticing the abundance of oaks coming up into his view through the front window. 

 

“Okay, you can pull over,” Tyler told him, which Josh obeyed.  He parked on the side of the broken road and turned the car off.  

 

The two hopped out of the car and Tyler slung the backpack back onto his shoulder.  He took Josh’s hand again and began leading him into the trees.

 

“Just follow me, okay?” Tyler said, guiding him into the small forest. 

 

So Josh followed him down the path he knew all too well, knowing every step and turn that Tyler was going to make.  Twigs and leaves crunched beneath their feet, the scent of rain and wood mixing perfectly together in the air.  

 

Tyler stopped once they made it to the clearing that held the single oak tree in the center of it, the tree house sitting proudly on the strong trunk.  The tree had been working with Spring and was spotting branches of brightly coloured leaves.  

 

“Isn’t it incredible?” Tyler asked, smiling as he looked over at Josh, who has seen the tree more times than Tyler probably knew about it.  “An abandoned tree house just sitting perfectly in the middle of a clearing.  It’s like something straight out of a book.”

 

The two walked over to the tree house and began climbing up the rope ladder.  They settled into the small home, their legs tangling together.

 

“How did you find it?” Josh asked, curiously.  The reason him and his siblings chose that tree to build the house on was because they thought no one would find it.  And of course the one person that had to find it was Tyler. 

 

“A few years ago, I was - uh, going through a little bit of a hard time,” Tyler swallowed thickly before continuing, choking on his words a little.  “And when I was younger, I use to just go out to the forest whenever things got a little tough and just sat among the trees to forget my trees.  I found it therapeutic, ya know?  So a few years back, when life just kinda sucked, I just went driving and I found this little forest here.  And then I found this treasure right.” 

 

“What happened a few years ago?” Josh asked, “I mean - if you don’t mind me asking.  You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

 

“No, no, it’s fine,” Tyler quickly assured, “to put it simply, uh, my mom left my dad.”  Tyler laughed a little nervously as he refused to look at Josh as he continued.

 

“So I decided to move back home for a bit to help him out - all my siblings still lived at home so I figured he might need my help with a few things.  But it was tough, ya know?  I was trying to finish up at school and then of course there was that pain that came from my mom just walking out on my siblings and dad.  And it all just became too much.”

 

“I ended up falling back into some bad old habits,” Tyler continued, rubbing his thumb over his wrist as he talked.  “One night I couldn’t take it anymore and went out driving - not really why.  I’m not sure if I was planning on leaving them behind or maybe something worst.  But like I said, I found this forest and this tree house and everything didn’t feel so overwhelming anymore - if that makes sense.” 

 

Tyler let out a heavy breath.  “Sorry to just dump that all you, didn’t mean to reveal my tragic backstory,” Tyler said, giving a watery chuckle.  “But it doesn’t matter now, it’s all in the past.”

 

“Hey, no need to apologize,” Josh said, grabbing Tyler’s hand.  “It’s good to talk about shitty things that happened in the past, but it’s hard to do.  So thank you for telling me, I think you’re really brave for doing so.” 

 

Tyler waved him off.  “I’m not brave, I just like talking,” he said, making Josh snort.  “What about you Josh?  Do you have a tragic story you’d like to share with the class?” 

 

Josh’s hands began to shake, but he calmed a little when he felt Tyler squeeze them.  “You don’t have to tell me anything either, Josh.” 

 

“Remember how I told you I have two sisters?” Josh questioned, swallowing the lump that was beginning to form in his throat. 

 

Tyler nodded, listening to Josh carefully.  “I had a brother too, a younger one, his name was Jordan” Josh began, “but - uh- one night I took him and my older sister, Ashley out driving.  We were just gonna go pick up some food or whatever.  And it was raining and on our way home some idiot forgot to use his blinker and pulled out in front of me.  I couldn’t see too well so I barely had time to stop.  I pulled the steering wheel, hoping to avoid hitting him, but the road was wet and I just ended up swerving off the side of the road.” 

 

Josh stopped for a moment when the weight on his chest made itself known, suffocating him.  Tyler rubbed his thumb over Josh’s hand, smiling softly. 

 

“You can stop if you want to, Josh, it’s okay,” Tyler assured. 

 

“It’s fine - like you said, it’s all in the past now,” Josh replied, “Ashley and I got out lucky - I fractured a couple ribs and she broke her leg and had a concussion.  Jordan didn’t make it though, some glass pierced a major artery and he ended up bleeding out.” 

 

Tyler said nothing once Josh was done.  He leaned over and pulled Josh into his embrace.  Josh breathed slowly as he pressed his face into the crook of Tyler’s neck.  Tyler smelled like cinnamon, firewood, and a little bit like antiseptic, but Josh loved it.  

 

“I wasn’t planning on this date to be such a downer,” Tyler said, making Josh laugh.  

 

“No, this is good,” Josh told him, “I’ve never really told anyone about that night.” 

 

“Well, you’re definitely braver than me then,” Tyler said, pulling away from the hug and keeping their hands together.  “I can’t even imagine what that must have been like.” 

 

Josh smiled, but said nothing.  Tyler was wrong though, he wasn’t brave.  Bravery isn’t running away from the problem and pretending it didn’t happen.  Josh was anything but brave. 

 

“How about we change the subject to something a bit happier?” Tyler suggested, laughing a little under his breath. 

 

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Josh chuckled, relieved. 

 

“I brought food,” Tyler announced, zipping open his backpack and revealing two bags of chips and two red bulls.  

 

Josh smiled as Tyler tossed one of each to him.  “You’re incredible,” he said, cracking open the can and taking a big gulp of the energy drink. 

 

As they ate together, Tyler’s head found its way to Josh’s lap and began to tell him a story about a patient that once came in with a sex toy stuck in his ass.  Josh laughed, nearly choking on chips, as he combed his fingers through Tyler’s fluffy hair.  Josh felt the weight lift off his chest.

 

He could breathe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was fun to write! I hope having two consecutive dates makes up for how long he took me to finally get these two idiots together.   
> Hope you guys enjoyed it! If you did, please let me know! Your guys' comments and kudos are so encouraging and I absolutely love them! xx


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for rape (nothing graphic, I promise)  
> Stay safe frens x

A week later and Justin finally found a replacement for Ashley.  The guy’s name was Mark and was currently going to university for film production. His schedule was more flexible than Ashley’s was, which meant he worked more at the bar. Which meant Justin went back to only coming by on Fridays.  Wednesdays became his favourite day once more. 

 

That evening both Josh and Mark came in an hour early, working together to restock the storage room with the supplies Justin recently ordered. Crates of bottles of a variety of drinks filled the back room. The two worked in minimal silence as they moved the boxes into the storage room. 

 

“So, are you going to school for anything?” Mark asking, bending down and lifting up one of the crates.

 

“Nah, I don't really have the time or patience for that,” Josh replied, carefully sliding one of the boxes onto the shelf. 

 

Mark chuckled as he carried the crate over to the storage closet. “Yeah I can get that,” he said, “but if you did, what would you go for?” 

 

Josh shrugged. “I dunno, nothing really interests me enough to learn more about it for four years,” he answered. 

 

Mark nodded and set the crate on one of the bottom shelves. “So, uh, what university are you taking your classes at?” Josh asked, heading back over to the back room and grabbing the last box. 

 

“Canyons, it’s the one that has the campus downtown,” Mark said, leaning against the door post as he watched Josh walk back to the storage closet. 

 

“Oh, I have a friend that's a professor over there,” Josh mentioned, setting the box on a shelf and then turning to face Mark. 

 

“Really? What's his name? I might know him,” Mark asked. 

 

“Brendon, I - uh - think his last name starts with a U or something,” Josh replied, scratching the back of his neck. 

 

“Oh yeah, Prof. Urie, he teaches some of the music classes over there,” Mark said, laughing a little under his breath. “Some of my friends who take his class tell me he comes to class hungover a lot.” 

 

“Yeah, he's actually a regular here - or was, I should say,” Josh said, a little glad over the fact he hadn't seen Brendon at the bar in weeks.  

 

Josh glanced at up at the clock and saw they had about five minutes till opening. “Imma go unlock the front door.” 

 

Since it was merely a Wednesday, not many came to the bar that night. They had the regulars of the middled aged alcoholics and twinks who just had their hearts just broken. 

 

“Damn, is it always this dead here?” Mark asked, grabbing a couple of light beers for a couple of women who were sitting in the corner of the bar. 

 

“More or less, it's pretty overwhelming during the weekend, but it stays much calmer during the week,” Josh explained. Mark nodded and took the beers over to the couple. 

 

Once Mark left the counter, Josh turned his attention to the front door and watched as a familiar head of blue hair walk in. 

 

“Ash?” Josh questioned, tilting his head to the side as the girl smiled brightly.

 

“Hey Josh,” Ashley greeted, walking up to the counter and leaning over to give Josh a good hug.  “How are you?” 

 

“I’m fine,” Josh replied, “what are you doing here?  I thought you quit.”

 

“I did, but I came by to see how you were and to, um, say goodbye before I head off to New York,” she explained, coughing awkwardly.  

 

Josh’s eyes widened.  “You’re going to New York?” he asked, shocked. 

 

Ashley nodded.  “Yeah, that’s where my folks are.  I’ve been missing home, so I figured I’d go back while trying to figure out what I want to and all that” 

 

“What about your girlfriend?” Josh asked, scrunching his eyebrows together as he listened to Ashley explain everything. 

 

Ashley’s dark eyes lit up like Christmas lights and she smiled softly.  “She’s actually agreed to come with me,” she said, her voice vibrant and excited.  

 

Josh returned the smile.  “That’s great Ash,” he replied, “I’ll miss you though.” 

 

“I’ll miss you too, Josh,” she said, her smiling turning sad.  “I want you to take care of yourself and get out of here as soon as you can, okay?” 

 

Josh nodded as he watched her reach into her jacket pocket, pulling out a wad of cash.  She took Josh’s hand and placed the money into his palm.  “What’s this for?” Josh asked, scrunching his eyebrows together as he looked between the money and her.

 

“There’s about three hundred dollars in there and I want you to take it,” she answered, “I know it’s not a lot in the long run, but every little bit counts, right?”

 

Josh shook his head.  “This is generous and all, Ash, but I can’t take this,” he said, trying to hand the money back to her.  “I don’t want your charity.” 

 

Ashley sighed.  “It’s not charity,” she retorted, placing it right back into his head.  “Like I told you, I’ve been where you are and I’m only doing what I wished someone did for me - so please, just take it.” 

 

Josh let out a heavy breath.  “Thank you,” he told her, reluctantly placing the money in his wallet.  

 

“Well, I’m complete shit at goodbyes so I guess see you around, Josh,” Ashley said, giving him a small smile. 

 

Josh smiled back.  “Yeah, I’ll see you around.”

 

The next few hours passed by like drying paint and Josh felt every second go by in his bones.  Most of the time was spent refilling the same guy’s glass and talking to Mark about every topic the guy could probably think of.  Josh was grateful that Mark was such a chatty guy because he was shit at keeping a conversation going. 

 

Eventually closing time came around and Josh was the one stuck with kicking the last few drunks out of the bar.  Once he made sure they had a safe way of getting home, he walked back into the bar.  

 

“Hey Josh,” a voice said, causing an icy dagger to go up Josh’s spine. 

 

“Oh,” Josh replied, staring at Justin as he wiped down the counter top.  “Why are you here?”

 

“I had to meet with Ashley earlier to give her her last paycheck,” Justin answered, “I figured I’d stay around for a bit, see how you and Mark were doing.”

 

“Where is Mark?” Josh asked.

 

“I told him that he could head home and I’d help you clean up,” Justin explained, flashing Josh smile that made his stomach turned. 

 

“Oh, uh, that’s nice of you,” Josh said, his feet glued to the ground as he watched Justin come from behind the counter and stalk over to Josh. 

 

Justin traced his thumb down Josh’s cheek, his eyes wandering around Josh’s face.  “Well, I’m a nice guy,” he said, “you know that, right Josh?”

 

Josh nodded, digging his nails into his skin in attempt to make the crawling sensation stop.  The feeling only got worse when Justin snaked one of his arms around his waist and cupped Josh’s cheek in his hand.

 

Justin smashed his lips against Josh’s, his hand travelling to the back of Josh’s hand and pulling him closer.  Josh stood there motionless, his eyes wide open as he refused the kiss.  Justin growled and bit down on Josh’s lip, forcing it open. 

 

Finding it an entrance, Justin shoved his tongue into Josh’s mouth.  Josh choked on a gag as Justin deepened the kiss, practically thrusted his tongue down his throat.  

 

When Josh refused to reciprocate Justin’s actions, Justin began sucking on his neck and undoing Josh’s belt.  “Lighten up, baby boy,” Justin whispered, nibbling on Josh’s ear. 

 

Justin led Josh away to the storage closet, his grip tight on Josh’s arms and thigh.  “Please, just s-stop,” Josh pleaded, trying to pull away from Justin’s hold.  

 

Justin ignored him and pulled Josh to the ground, pinning him down.  Josh tried to stand back up, but Justin kicked him back down.  He wrapped his legs around Josh’s hips, pulling his pants and boxers down. 

 

Josh continued to struggle beneath Justin, which resulted in Justin grabbing his arm and pulling it as far back as he could until Josh finally stopped, his shoulder not being able to take it.  Josh let out ragged breaths as he laid still on the floor, feeling Justin violate every part of his being once again. Silently, Josh allowed himself to cry. 

  
  
  
  
  


The drive back to the shelter was painful and slow.  The road before him and the lights around blurred into one unfocused image.  Despite the straight path, Josh felt like he was constantly rocking back and forth.  He knew he was driving recklessly, but he couldn’t bother to care that time. 

 

When Josh finally arrived at the overpass, he parked the car and sat there for God knows how long.  His bones were like lead, weighing him to the seat.  Josh stared out the window and watched as a figure came from the welcoming fire and towards the car.  Josh finally found the strength to move and open the door when the figure started pounding on the door. 

 

“Josh?” Abby asked, “you okay?” 

 

Josh simply stared at her as he slowly climbed out of the car.  “I don’t feel well,” he stated, dryly as his stomach began to tie itself into knots. 

 

Abby’s eyebrows knitted together in concern as she wrapped her arms around Josh’s waist to support his weight.  They began walking over to the fire before Josh stopped in his tracked.  He shrugged Abby’s arm off and went over to a plot of dirt, emptying the contents of his stomach. 

 

Abby ran over to her brother and rubbed her hand across his back as he started dry heaving.  She pressed the back of her hand against his forehead.  “You don’t have a fever,” she told him, “what happened?”

 

Josh just shook his head as he spat out the last bit of bile before turning to look at Abby.  “Okay, come on, you need to lay down and drink some water.”

 

Abby lead Josh over to the shelter, waving off Pete and Patrick’s concerned looks as they walked over to their cots.  She helped Josh down onto the cot before grabbing him a bottle of water.  “Sip it, don’t chug it,” Abby ordered, her voice soft.

 

Josh took the water and did as he was told.  Abby moved her hand to comb her fingers through Josh’s hair, but he backed away from her touch.  Josh tried to ignore the hurt in her eyes. 

 

“Just try and get some rest, okay?” Abby said, forcing her lips into a small smile. 

 

Exhaustion made itself known in Josh’s bones and his pounding headache urged him to close his eyes.  He tried to fight against oblivion, but eventually swallowed him whole.  

  
  
  
  


When he closed his eyes, Josh found himself at Tyler’s apartment.  They were on his sofa, Tyler sitting on top of Josh’s lap.  He had his arms wrapped around Josh’s neck, his lips moving softly against Josh’s.  Josh’s hands clung onto Tyler’s shirt as if it was a lifeline, urging him to come closer. 

 

Tyler cradled Josh’s shoulders and lowered him onto his back, Tyler still sitting on top of Josh’s lap.  His fingers began tugging on Josh’s pants, making him freeze. 

 

“Is this okay?” Tyler asked, already undoing the buttons of his jeans.  Josh noticed his voice sounded odd, almost like static. 

 

“No,” Josh answered, shaking his head.  He went to move Tyler’s hands away from his pants, put they refused to budge.  Panic began to swell in Josh’s chest.  “Tyler, I said no.”

 

Tyler continued to ignore him, eventually pulling Josh’s pants down to his knees.  Josh kept begging him to stop, struggling to get out from Tyler’s grip. 

 

He stared up Tyler’s face in disbelief and felt his stomach churn.  He didn’t see Tyler’s warm honey eyes, what he saw were dark eyes.  Eyes like a storm coming to destroy everything in their path.  

 

When those eyes faded from Josh’s vision and were replaced by pitch darkness, he couldn’t help the scream that escaped his throat when he felt arms around him.  He clawed at the arms and tried to squirm from their grasp.  

 

“Get off!  Get off!” Josh cried, pounding his fists against the arms, but they refused to let go.  They continued to rock him back and forth, making him even more sick.  Fingers that felt like spiders crawled through his hair and Josh let out another cry. 

 

“You’re okay, you’re safe, you’re okay, you’re safe,” a voice in the darkness said, hushing him, but the voice was wrong.  He didn’t feel safe, and he definitely didn’t feel okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the sad chapters have returned, but I promise certain things will be happening very soon.   
> Let me know what you guys think! Your feedback means so much much to me xx


	21. Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short filler chapter that is stuffed with hospital shit  
> Please keep in mind I'm not actually a doctor, so if I get something wrong, I'm very sorry  
> Also I can't believe this has over 2K hits ??? I never expected this fic to do as well as it's doing and I'm so grateful to all of you who have stuck with it x

If there was one thing Tyler absolutely hated about working in a hospital, it was the sixteen hours shift.  He was lucky he was a resident and was only allowed to do sixteen hours, but the long days were still dreadful.  Tyler was also sure he was getting high off all the antibacterial spray.

 

Relief finally came to Tyler when Dallon told him he wouldn’t be needed for a couple of hours.  After being on his feet for six hours straight with no break, Tyler happily made his way to one of the on call rooms.

 

The floor seemed to be made of pins and needles as Tyler walked down the hallway.  The heavens opened up when Tyler spotted the glorious door labeled ‘STAFF ONLY.’  That joy immediately faded when he saw a head of red hair. 

 

“Oh, hey Tyler,” Debby said, looking up from the pillow her face had been squished against.  

 

Tyler gave a weak smile.  “Hi,” he replied, awkwardly walking over to the bunkbed on the other side of the room.  He heard Debby sigh as he laid down onto the bed. 

 

“Tired?” she asked, making Tyler inwardly groan.  

 

“Yes I am, that is why I came to the room with beds,” he answered, trying not to show his aggravation through his tone.  Unfortunately for Tyler, he wore his heart on his mouth.

 

“Why such the cold shoulder?” Debby asked. 

 

“Well you see, when someone sleeps with your fiance, you tend to not like them all that much,” Tyler snapped, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. 

 

“In my defense, I had no clue you guys were engaged.  Anytime I asked about you too, she just told me you guys were just good friends,” Debby explained, her voice slightly pained, “she lied to me too, Tyler.  You weren’t the only one she screwed over.” 

 

“Well you’re taking it pretty well it seems,” Tyler grunted, folding his arms over his chest.

 

“What’s it to you?”  Debby asked, “you were the one that left her - you obviously don’t have feelings for her anymore, so why does our relationship bother you?”

 

“Why would you stay with someone who lied to you?” Tyler asked, finally looking over at Debby.

 

“Why do you care?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him. 

 

“I couldn’t even stand the sight of her when I first found out - still kinda do,” Tyler began, a small bitter laugh accompanying his words.  “I just don’t understand how you could still at look at her the same.” 

 

Debby shrugged her shoulders.  “I dunno, maybe I’m an optimistic idiot that’ll get heartbroken again,” Debby said, smiling softly to herself.  “But everyone deserves a second chance, right?” 

 

Tyler sighed because he really wanted to hate her, but she had a point.  “Right.”

 

Debby sat up under the bunk and carefully stood up, stretching out her limbs.  “Well I gotta go,” she announced, walking over to the door.  “But I’ll see you later, yeah?” 

 

Tyler nodded.  “Yeah.” 

 

When Tyler shut his eyes, it felt like he barely blinked and two hours passed.  His mind was still fuzzy from sleep when he made his way down to the elevators.  He made his way up to the Diagnostics and met with Dallon in the hallway. 

 

“Hey Tyler,” Dallon greeted, giving him a quick smile before returning his attention to the board in his hand.  “So we’ve got a patient who was complaining of some abdominal pain.  We tried an ultrasound, but we couldn’t get a clear enough picture, so we have them scheduled for an MRI scan.” 

 

“I need to go grab Dr.Hurley, so you can go ahead and get the patient prepped,” Dallon explained, “they’re already in the MRI room and their name is Emma.”

 

Tyler nodded and the two parted as Tyler walked down to the MRI.  He entered the observation room before heading into  the scanning room.  A girl with short black and light skin sat on the small bed of the scanner, her legs swinging back and forth as she played with the hem of her hospital gown.  She looked young, probably around her late teens or early twenties.

 

She narrowed her eyes at Tyler as he entered the room.  “You’re not Dr.Weekes,” she stated, glancing at Tyler with uncertainty.

 

“Hi Emma, I’m Dr.Joseph,” Tyler introduced.

 

She raised an eyebrow.  “Aren’t you a little young to be a doctor?” 

 

“I suppose, I’m technically a resident nurse, but Dr. is a bit easier to remember,” Tyler answered, forcing his lips into a smile as the girl stared at him with dead eyes.

 

“Anyway,” Tyler started, clapping his hands against his thighs.  “I’m just here to run you down about the MRI scan, okay?”  She continued to stare, not saying a word. 

 

“So you should know there’s absolutely no risk of having one, it’s completely radiation free.  Though because it’s magnetic, it doesn’t take too kindly to metal or electrical appliances.  Do you have any jewelry or something like a pacemaker?” he asked, to which she shook her head.  “Perfect, so, all we will need you to do is lay under the scanner and remain perfectly still so we can get a clear picture.”

 

“Also, a large banging sound will occur, but we can get you some headphones to block the sound out if you want,” Tyler explained, but she shook her head again. 

 

Tyler glanced over at the observation room and saw Dallon enter with Dr.Hurley.  He gave Tyler a thumbs up and Tyler nodded. 

 

“Alright, so you go ahead and lie down and I’ll just be in the other room with Dr.Weekes,” Tyler said before heading back into the observation room.

 

The three of them stood and waited as the MRI performed the scan, the image slowly appearing on the screen.  Once the scan was complete, Tyler’s eyes observed the results.  He gave his attention to Dr.Hurley when he let out a heavy sigh. 

 

“What do you see?” Dallon asked, turning his head to look at Dr.Hurley.

 

“She’s pregnant,” he answered, her voice low and solemn.

 

Dallon’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.  “The ultrasound didn’t show a fetus and the MRI isn’t showing anything in her uterus.”

 

“That’s because it’s an ectopic pregnancy,” Tyler said before Dr.Hurley can.  He leaned towards the screen and pointed outside of the uterus.  “Look at the fallopian tube, you can see the fertilized egg right there.  It’s quite early, hasn’t developed enough to cause any damage to the tube yet, but enough to cause discomfort.” 

 

“Good observation, Dr.Joseph,” Dr.Hurley complimented, but his tone was still grim.  “Since it’s early, luckily there is no need to operate, but she will need methotrexate.  I can give her the news if you two can go get in the injection prepared.”

 

Dallon nodded.  “Of course.”  Tyler followed him out the observation and down to the pharmacy.  The dosage was prepared and the two returned to the patient. 

 

“How are you holding up?” Dallon asked Emma as Tyler began disinfecting the needle. 

 

Emma shrugged.  “Relieved I guess, I definitely don’t want any kids,” she answered, “also glad I’m not dying like I thought.”

 

Dallon chuckled as Tyler passed him the syringe.  “Okay, I’m gonna need you to relax your muscles.  It’ll hurt a lot more if you tense yourself up, so don’t worry about it, alright?” 

 

Emma nodded and stared at the ceiling as Dallon injected the needle into her muscle.  Tyler watched as she cringed in pain, but remained still.  

 

“Alright, all done,” Dallon announced, removing the needle and handing it back to Tyler.  He wiped over the puncture and placed a bandage.  “So it’ll take a few hours for the drug to fully administer, so we’ll need you to stay for that time just to make sure all goes well.  You’ll probably experience some nausea and things such as vomiting is perfectly normal.”

 

“If you could come with me Miss.Kay, I can take you to a room for you to lay down in,” Dr. Hurley said, having Emma follow him out of the room.

 

Tyler sighed once they left the room.  “What else we got?” he asked, glancing over at the clock in the observation room.  He just needed to make it five more hours, no big deal. 

 

“Well, Dr.Way has called me over to the ICU, but a few of our patients are in need of their medication, so I’ll need you to take care of that,” Dallon replied, handing Tyler a slip of paper with a list of the patients, their medication, and room numbers. 

 

“Will do, sir,” Tyler said, looking over the list.

 

“Oh Tyler, one more thing,” Dallon said before Tyler left the room.  Tyler looked at him and raised an eyebrow, signaling him to continue.  “Is, uh, Brendon a good guy?” 

 

Tyler smiled softly.  “Yeah, he’s one of the greatest guys I know,” he answered, “you’re not making a mistake, I promise.” 

 

Dallon returned the smile.  “I’ll hold you to that,” he chuckled, “thank you Tyler.”

 

Tyler waved him off.  “Anytime Dallon.” 

 

Tyler left the room and headed back to the pharmacy.  He set all the pills onto a tray and began making his round around the hospital.  The pins and needles returned to his feet as he felt another hour slip by.  He was making his way back to the on-call room when Dallon stopped him in the hallway. 

 

“We need to head over to ER, paramedics just called, they’re coming in with a couple victims who were in a car crash,” Dallon told him, urgently. 

 

Tyler nodded understandingly and followed him down to the ER.  They threw on gloves and scrubs as they waited for the ambulance to arrive.  Tyler’s leg bounced up and down, trying to keep himself awake.  

 

Tyler really hated sixteen hour shifts. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My search history definitely looks pretty weird after this one.  
> Not the best chapter in the world, but luckily this isn't the only chapter for this update! Go ahead and check out part two x


	22. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part twooooo

When Josh woke that morning, the sun had barely come up from the horizon.  The sky was painted with lilac and gold, decorated with white stripes of thin clouds.  The moon was still hanging onto the sky, but was slowly fading away as the sun climbed its way up.  The day’s warm glow of survival melted all the horrors of the night before away.  

 

Josh loved mornings, because in the morning, you can have a fresh start.  When the sun rises, you can try again.  With all the mistakes Josh has managed to make, he needed that reset button the day provided.

 

Sitting up from the cot, Josh looked over at Abby’s side and saw she was still asleep.  Guilt pooled in his stomach as he stared at his sister’s face.  Her concern painted face was still vivid in his mind from the previous night and he hated it.  She shouldn’t have to worry about him.

 

The money Ashley gave him sat heavy in his jacket pocket and Josh started counting all their savings together.  They were  _ so close _ to where they needed to be.  Perhaps her and Abby were right, he needed to get out. 

 

Quietly, Josh made his way to the rusty ladder attached to the graffitied wall.  He climbed up and made his way onto the bridge.  He sat down on the edge and his legs hung in the air.  Josh leaned back on his arms and stared up at the pastel sky. 

 

Josh watched as the sun proudly sat at the top of the sky, shifting the hue to a light blue.  The air grew warmer and Josh let himself relax under the glow. 

 

He turned his attention away from the horizon when he heard the familiar squeak of the ladder.  A head of blonde hair appeared and Josh felt himself tense a little.

 

“Hey Josh,” Abby greeted, climbing onto the bridge and sitting herself down next to Josh.  “What’cha doing up here?” 

 

Josh shrugged.  “Wanted to watch the sunrise.”  

 

“Remember when we would sneak out in the morning to go watch the sunrise in the treehouse?” Abby asked, wringing her hands together as she spoke. 

 

Josh nodded.  “Yeah, I also remember the one time Mom called the cops because she thought we were kidnapped,” he replied, chuckling as he recalled the memory. 

 

“It’s not my fault  _ someone _ ended up falling asleep,” Abby teased, lightly shoving Josh with her shoulder as she laughed with him. 

 

Josh sighed happily and allowed himself to relax.  He forced himself not to flinch when Abby gingerly took his hand.  “I can tell you’re thinking about something,” Abby commented, not looking at Josh’s eyes as she spoke.  “What’s up?” 

 

“You know Ashley, the girl who used to work at the bar?” Josh questioned.

 

Abby furrowed her eyebrows together as she tried to recall.  “She was the one who gave you the CD right?” she asked.

 

Josh nodded.  “Yeah - so, she gave me something last,” he replied, digging through his jacket pocket.  He took out the wad of fifties and handed it to Abby. 

 

Abby stared at the money and then at Josh.  “How much is this?” she asked, her tone a little awestruck. 

 

“Five hundred,” he answered.

 

“That’s incredible,” Abby said, smiling brightly.  “Why did she give this to you?” 

 

“She was pretty vague about it, to be honest,” Josh replied, “I think she just wants to get me out of that bar.”  He watched as Abby’s expression softened.

 

“Will you?  I mean - with this much, we’re so close,” Abby began, “if I get a job, you definitely won’t need two, right?” 

 

Josh smiled softly.  “Tomorrow, okay?  Tomorrow will be my last day, I promise.”

 

Abby let out a tiny laugh of joy and threw her arms around Josh’s neck.  Josh went tense for a second before he relaxed under his sister’s touch.  “Thank you,” she said, burying her head into the crook of his neck.

 

Josh held onto Abby tightly as they sat there together, his hands clinging to her shirt like a lifeline.  Josh took in a shaky breath as his head finally lifted from the water that was drowning him.  “I’m gonna need to go to the gas station pretty soon,” Josh told her, slowly pulling away from her embrace.

 

“Could I come?” she asked, staring up at Josh with wide eyes. 

 

“Uh, sure,” Josh answered, looking at her oddly.  “May I ask why?” 

 

“I’ve missed you,” she replied, smiling a little sadly.  “It feels like you haven’t really been around lately - or at the least the Josh I know hasn’t been around.” 

 

Josh gave her a weak smile as he ignored the pang of guilt and hurt that made itself home in his chest.  Sadly he knew the Josh she knew wouldn’t be returning, not for a long time at least.  Who he was feels like a distant memory - a completely different person who wasn’t coming back.  

 

“C’mon, let’s go,” Josh said, standing up and pulling Abby up with him.  

 

They walked over to the ladder and climbed down one at a time.  The two made their way to Josh’s car and hopped in on their respective sides.  Josh shoved the key into the ignition and began driving away from the shelter.

 

Time moved quickly whilst they were at the gas station.  Only a couple people came into the store, leaving the siblings to their own devices.  Josh struggled not to laugh at the face Abby pulled when a man bought an excessive amount of single packet condoms. 

 

The two sat around, waiting for customers they knew wouldn’t come.  Josh grabbed a bag of chips that wouldn’t be missed and shared them with Abby.  

 

“Doesn’t Tyler typically stop by?” Abby asked, recalling all the stories Josh told her. 

 

“Yeah, but he’s probably just at work,” Josh replied, picking at his nails that were desperately trying to grow back.  “Why ya care?  Eager to meet him?” 

 

Abby rolled her eyes.  “Of course I want to meet him, I need to make sure this guy is good enough for you,” she said, making Josh laugh.

 

“I promise, he’s plenty good,” Josh assured, but Abby waved him off. 

 

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Abby stated, narrowing her eyes at Josh. 

 

By the time five o’clock rolled around, rain was beginning to pour down.  Abby pulled her jacket over her head as the two left the gas station.  Josh let himself get soaked in the way, not minding the cold.  He just wanted to enjoy rain like he used to when he was little. 

 

When they arrived at the overpass, Josh spotted the sweet glow of fire beneath the bridge.  Pete, Patrick, and Hayley were all gathered around the flames.  Abby and Josh hopped out of the car and joined the group around the fire.  

 

Hayley sat with her guitar in her lap, picking a tune that sounded only slightly familiar to Josh.  Pete sat in Patrick’s lap, his lips connected to Patrick’s neck.

 

“Get a room would ya?” Abby teased, smiling as she stared at the two.

 

Pete removed his lips from Patrick’s neck and looked over  at Abby.  “Would if I could.”

 

Josh laughed at Pete before noticing Hayley pausing her strumming and setting her guitar to the side.  “Actually Pete, if you could lay off for a second that’d be good,” she said, twiddling her fingers together.  “There’s something I need to tell you guys.” 

 

“You’re not pregnant are you?” Pete asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

 

Hayley rolled her eyes and smacked his arm.  “No I’m not pregnant, asshat.  Just shut up and listen,” she snapped, but stilling smirking cheekily at him. 

 

“Anyways, so for the last I think seven months I’ve been seeing this girl - her name is Ashley,” Hayley started, making Josh’s breath catch in her throat.  “Recently she quit her job and can’t afford to live where she lives right now anymore.  So, she’s going back to her hometown in New York to stay with her parents for a bit and figure things out - and, uh, I’m going with her.” 

 

“Wow Hayley, that’s incredible,” Patrick gushed, smiling brightly.  “I’m so happy for you.”

 

“Congrats on finally being able to get out of this shithole,” Pete winked, making Hayley snort.

 

“When are you leaving?” Abby asked, a hint of sadness in her voice.  

 

“This Saturday actually,” she answered, “I’ve been wanting to tell you guys, but I kept putting it off.  I didn’t want to say goodbye.” 

 

“We’ll miss you,” Josh told her, curling his lips as she smiled sadly.

 

“I’ll miss you guys too,” she replied, the flames making the tears in her eyes sparkle.  “You guys have been the only family I’ve ever known.” 

 

Josh sat back and watched Hayley spoke quietly to Pete and Patrick.  Josh knew it must have been hard for the three of them.  She had known them for much longer than Josh had, her story similar to his.  Pete and Patrick had been her makeshift parents, taking care of her since she was fifteen.

 

“Why did your girlfriend even quit her job?” Patrick asked, “why get rid of the income you needed to keep a roof over your head?” 

 

“She worked at this shitty bar downtown and her boss was a complete asshole,” Hayley answered, seething as she remembered her girlfriend’s words.  “She thinks he might have been sexually assaulting her co-worker.”

 

All the air escaped Josh’s lungs and everything became numb.  He stared with dead eyes as Pete and Patrick began to fume, the three of them talking about how shitty that was.  Josh could feel Ashley’s eyes boring into the side of his face. 

 

“I need to go,” he announced when he saw Abby’s mouth open to speak.  He stood wordlessly and ignored his friends odd looks as he quickly made his way towards his car. 

 

He climbed into the driver’s seat and his shaky hands fumbled with the keys to the car.  By the time Josh got the key into the ignition, Abby had caught up to him and threw herself into the passenger seat.  Josh ignored her stare of disbelief as he turned on the car, driving away from the shelter.

 

“Tell me it’s not true, Josh,” Abby begged, her voice cracking.  “Tell me what she said isn’t true.  Tell me you haven’t been lying to me all this time.  Tell me it’s not true,  _ please Josh _ .” 

 

Josh ignored her pleas and kept himself focused on the road that was blurred with tears.  His chest burned and suffocated him.  He ignored Abby when she let out a broken cry.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me Josh?” she asked, her voice hushed.  “Why would you continuously let yourself go through that?  I need you to tell me why, Josh, cause I don’t understand.  I just want to understand.” 

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Josh deadpanned, her breath quickening as panic settled in his veins.

 

“Of course it fucking matters!” Abby shouted, anger burning in her tone.  “How can you even say that Josh?”

 

“He was going to cut down my pay, okay?  This was the only way I could continue to get where we are now,” Josh explained, his voice toneless.  “I didn’t know what else I was suppose to do.”

 

“I would rather remain homeless for the rest of our lives than for you to ever have to go through that,” Abby told him, brokenly.  “Nothing is worth that happening to you Josh.”

 

Abby’s words began to fade away and the road looked like nothing more than an unfocused picture.  Josh’s hand shook miserably, making it hard to keep hold of the steering wheel.  His leg trembled on top of the gas pedal and he still felt no air in his lungs.  He heard nothing but the heavy fall of raindrops and Abby screaming when nothing but headlights collided with his vision.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes.  
> So I'm an asshole who plans things terribly because I won't be able to get a new chapter up for a bit cause I'm busy for the next few days so soz for leaving you guys hanging.  
> Well I hoped you enjoyed it even if you hate me for writing a cliffhanger, let me know what you think!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your guys' comments on the last chapter killed me. And I know I'm evil cause I was laughing while reading all of them.

Tyler and Dallon stood outside the ER doors when two ambulances came into view. They both came to a halt as paramedics began climbing out of the vehicle. One approached the two as they rest began escorting the victims out.

“What do we got?” Dallon asked, keeping his glance at the ambulance.

“Three victims, two critical, one non-critical,” the paramedic explained as the others began pulling out a stretcher from each ambulance. “One wasn't wearing his seatbelt and he was launched through the window - severe head injury, dislocated kneecap, and a giant gash in his stomach. The other has a punctured lung and sustained an injury on his head. The non-critical one only has a fractured wrist and is gonna need some stitches.”

“We’ll have to run the first two to neuro and cardio,” Dallon said, “Tyler, do you mind treating the non-critical patient?”

“Whatever you need, sir,” Tyler answered, giving a curt nod.

Two gurneys were rushed through the doors and Dallon followed after them. One had a paramedic keeping a firm hand on his chest, a blood soaked bandage underneath their hand. Another had dressing wrapped their torso and head, completely hiding their face.

Tyler tried to help take the non-critical victim to the A&E. It was a young girl, who couldn't have been more than eighteen years old. Her dark blonde hair was sticky with blood and her arm was sitting in a sling. Her face was decorated with small gashes and dried tear stains.

The girl sobbed as Tyler took her away from the ER entrance and down to the A&E.

“No, no, no, no - please no! I need to be with my brother, I need to be with my brother,” the girl cried, trying to squirm out of Tyler’s grasp.

“I need you to sit still or you’re going to make your injuries worse,” Tyler stated, setting the girl onto a bed in the A&E.

“I'm fine! I just need to make sure my brother is okay,” the girl continued, gasping as she choked on a sob.

“You need to calm down, ma’am. I can assure you that your brother is in good hands,” Tyler said, still trying to get her to sit still. “But you need help right now, okay? And I can't help you if you don't relax.”

“I promise I'm fine, just please-” she stopped mid-sentence as another cry racked her body and set her into ragged breaths.

“Hey, hey, it's going to be okay,” Tyler assured, “I'm sure your brother would want you to get help, okay? So let's do that for him, yeah?”

The girl took a shaking breath and nodded. “Great, that's great,” Tyler said, sighing in relief. “So how about you tell me your name.”

“A-Abigail,” she said as Tyler began preparing a needle and thread. He could see a couple cuts on her head and arm where glass most likely entered.

“That's a nice name, I'm Dr.Joseph,” Tyler replied, grabbing a disinfecting wipe and cleaning the cuts. “Do you think you could tell me what happened?”

“M-my brother and I were arguing while he was driving,” Abigail began, sniffling. “And I don't even know h-how it happened and there was just a car in front of us all of a sudden.” Tyler slowly began stitching her cuts and she hardly gave notice to the needle going through her skin.

“When my brother saw the headlights, it was too late to try and swerve out of the way. He i-immediately threw himself in front of me, but when the car h-hit us, he went right through the window,” she continued, beginning to shake as Tyler finished up the first set of stitches. “Because the idiot wasn't wearing his stupid fucking seatbelt.”

Tyler cleaned off the needle and grabbed some new thread as fresh tears tracked down Abigail’s face. “I'm sure your brother is going to be just fine,” he told her, gently cupping Abigail’s face and stitching up the cut on her jaw.

Her lip started trembling as she started blinking rapidly. “It’s all my fault,” she whispered to herself, struggling to keep her face still as Tyler finished up the stitches.

Tyler set the needle to the side and slowly took Abigail’s hand. He gave it a squeeze when she didn't pull away. “This isn't your fault, okay? There was nothing you could have done.”

“I shouldn't have let him drive, I should have stopped him,” she continued to cry, her breath becoming quick and laboured again.

“Hey, hey, you can't think like that, okay?” Tyler began, “you'll drive yourself mad doing that, trust me. There's probably a million things you should have or shouldn't have done, but thinking about that won't change or help what happened. You need to focus on now and how to move forward. You do yourself no favours dwelling on the past.”

Abigail sniffed and used her good arm to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “I just can't lose another brother - not like this, especially not like this.”

Tyler felt a pang in his chest, but gave her a reassuring smile. “Your brother is going to be okay. You're not going to lose him, I promise.”

Abigail nodded and took a slow breath. “So how about we focus back into you, yeah?” Tyler said, “I'm gonna take you to get an x-ray for your wrist, okay?”

Tyler escorted Abigail to diagnostics and had a technician take an x-ray of her wrist. Once the image was clear, Tyler saw the alignment was only out of place and would just need a reduction.

“So, the good news is we don't have to operate to fix the fracture,” Tyler explained to her, showing her the images from the x-ray. “The bad news is that the fix will be extremely painful.”

“What is it?” she asked, tentatively.

“To put it simply, I have to place the pieces back manually,” he explained, lifting up his hands. She winced and he sighed sympathetically. “Of course we give you some sedative so you won't feel the pain, but it's your call.”

Abigail sighed. “Let's just get it over with.”

Tyler nodded and slowly took the sling off of Abigail’s arm. He helped her carefully straightened out her arm and he kept a gentle hand beneath her wrist.

“You ready?” he asked, to which she nodded. “Alright, on the count of three, okay? One, two, three.”

Tyler angled her wrist and snapped the bone into place. She screamed briefly before seething in pain, her back arching into a curl position as she tried to calm her breathing.

“Okay, try and not to touch your wrist. I need to put a splint on it, alright?” Tyler told her. Abigail nodded wordlessly, noises of discomfort slipping through her lips.

Tyler grabbed a wrist splint and carefully placed it on Abigail’s wrist. He also retrieved her some basic pain meds and a cup of water, which she took gratefully.

“Do you have any pain or discomfort you need me to check out?” he asked, to which she shook her head. “Then how about I take you to the waiting room and then I'll try and check up on your brother, okay?”

Abigail nodded. “Thank you,” she replied, standing up from the bed and following Tyler out the door.

Tyler smiled. “Of course.”

Tyler took Abigail down to the waiting room, and after making sure she was alright one last time, he set out to find Dallon.

Tyler made his way to the ICU and found Dallon in the hallway. He ran over to his superior and startled the other man.

“Tyler, how did it go with your patient?” Dallon asked as Tyler tried to catch his breath.

“Fine, fine - she's fine, but, I was hoping you had updates on one of the critical patients,” Tyler said, “the guy who went through the windshield, he's her brother and she wants to know how he is.”

Dallon nodded. “Well, I can tell you he is stable condition right now, but he's not conscious. We had to stitch up the gash on his stomach and also performed a reduction in his knee, but he will need surgery after Neuro is done checking out his head injury.”

“Oh thank God,” Tyler said, glad that he would be able to give Abigail good news.

“So your patient is his sister?” Dallon asked, “did she mention his name? He had no form of ID on him, so right he's just a John Doe.”

“Uh no, she didn't tell me his name, but I can go ask if you need me to, sir,” Tyler answered.

“If it's no problem, yes. I would like to see if we have any of his medical history,” Dallon said, “He's got some surgical scars and other...pre-existing injuries, so I need to find his file so we can make a clear examination from the accident.”

Tyler nodded. “You got it, sir.”

Hurriedly, Tyler went back down to the waiting room and looked for the blonde haired girl. When he spotted her, he noticed she still had blood and grime in her hair.

“You know you can use the bathroom to wash all that out,” Tyler told her as he walked up to her.

Abigail fingered her hair and shrugged. “It can wait,” she stated, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Anyway, do you have any news on my brother.”

“He's in stable condition, but he is unconscious. They've given him some stitches and are currently examining the head injury he sustained. He’s going to need surgery as soon as that's over so you can't visit him just yet,” Tyler explained, “but he's breathing and from what we can tell right now, he's fine.”

Abby sighed in relief and wiped a hand over her face. “Thank God,” she said, giving Tyler a smile. “That's amazing, thank you so much Dr.Joseph.”

“Of course, but do you mind telling me his name? We need to get to his medical files so we can make a clear examination,” Tyler said, Dallon’s words echoing in his head and through his mouth.

Abigail nodded. “Josh, Josh Dun.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I now have way too much medical knowledge just from writing this fic. Despite all my effort to research everything, always remember I'm not a doctor so don't come at me with pitchforks if I get something wrong. Also, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to keep up with daily update anymore, but I'll do my best!  
> Well I hoped you guys enjoyed this update! As always, let me know what you guys think!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise no cliffhangers for this chapter my frens x

Tyler’s eyes widened at Abigail’s words. “I'm sorry, but did you say Josh Dun?” he asked, earning him an odd look.

“Yeah, you did asked me his name,” Abigail replied, laughing nervously.

A never ending pit formed in Tyler’s stomach and the room started to turn. “Josh Dun? Like, works at a bar and gas station Josh Dun?”

Abby furrowed her eyebrows. “How do you know my brother?” she asked, almost defensively.

“Well, uh, I don't know if he's mentioned me, but I'm Tyler,” he said, swallowing hard. “I'm, um, dating Josh.”

Abigail made an ‘o’ shape with her mouth. “Holy shit, you're Tyler?” she asked, staring at Tyler with wide eyes.

“And you're Abby,” Tyler replied, wanting to kick himself for being so ignorant. “I would have liked to meet you under better circumstances.”

Abby chuckled and gave a small smile. Tyler’s vision went a little dizzy because she shared that smile with Josh.

“Likewise,” Abby said, running her fingers through her hair.

“You'll be staying here tonight, right?” Tyler asked, awkwardly shoving his hands into his pockets.

Abby nodded. “Yeah, I need to be there when Josh is awake.”

“Well, I'll try and keep you updated, okay?” Tyler told her, to which she nodded once more.

“Okay, just - please, take good care of him,” Abby said, biting down on her nails. Tyler hated how the action reminded him of Josh.

“Hey, he's going to be fine. I'm going to make sure nothing happens to him, I promise,” Tyler assured once more.

Abby smiled again and tilted her head to the side. “I'm glad my brother found a guy like you,” she said, “you're pretty alright, Tyler.”

Red tinged Tyler’s cheeks. “Does that mean I have the sister stamp of approval?” he asked, cheekily.

“For now,” she winked.

Tyler laughed under his breath and bid goodbye to Abby, going back down to the ICU to check on Josh. He was probably down in Neuro and most likely in surgery.

A wave of nausea hit Tyler as images of Josh coming through the ER came back to his mind. Even though he had been wrapped with dressing, Tyler could see his face this time as he recalled it. Tyler stopped in the middle of the hallway and leaned against the wall.

Tyler didn't want to lose Josh. The time they had spent together wasn't enough for Tyler to be ready to let go. He wanted more.

“Tyler, are you alright?” a voice said, pulling Tyler from his thoughts.

Tyler looked up and saw Dallon staring at him with a worried gaze. Tyler blinked a couple times before nodding. “Yeah, fine, just felt a little sick for a second there,” Tyler replied, forcing a smile.

Dallon nodded, too distracted to look past Tyler’s artificial assurance. “Did you get the patient’s name from his sister?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah, it's Josh - Josh Dun,” Tyler answered, still a little frazzled.

“Josh Dun? Huh, sounds familiar,” Dallon muttered to himself. “Anyway, Josh just finished up in Neuro and is currently getting prepped for his knee surgery. Do you mind looking through records while I help Dr.Wilson operate?”

“Of course, sir,” Tyler nodded. “Oh, um, did Neuro have any news on his head injury?”

Dallon sighed. “Nothing of immediate danger was shown on the MRI scan or in the examination we could perform while he was unconscious. If there is any damage, we won't be able to know until he wakes up.”

“Okay, thank you sir. I'll get to work on finding those file,” Tyler said before walking back down to the hospital.

Going down to Registration and went over to one of the computers. Sitting down, his eyes stayed glued to the screen as his fingers travelled across the keyboard.

“Joshua William Dun,” Tyler mumbled to himself as he pulled up the file. He drummed his fingers against the computer mouse as he read through the file.

Joshua William Dun - June 18th, 1998

‘He's only nineteen?’ Tyler thought to himself, ‘how the hell is he working in a bar?’

As much as Tyler wanted to continue to read his file, he knew he couldn't. He was only a resident nurse, not Josh’s doctor. He had no right to do so. He clicked print and walked over to the printer, placing the file in a folder.

A couple hours passed and Josh was finally finished in surgery. Tyler gave the Josh’s PHR file and other records to Dallon and he was able to perform a clear examination.

After surgery, Josh was placed into a medically induced coma to help ease the swelling in his head. Once Dallon completed Josh’s physical examination, Tyler stepped into the room to get briefed.

The sight was terrifying to say the least. Josh was laying in the hospital bed, a feeding tube shoved down his throat and an IV sticking out of his wrist. He wore a cast on his leg and a bandage around his forehead, his faded hair sticking in all directions

Stitches littered his chest, arms, and face. His skin was almost translucent, making his veins too visible. Eyes sunken in slightly, his dark circles were more prominent than ever. He was like glass and it terrified Tyler. The only thing he found uplifting was that steady beat that come from the heart monitor.

“You alright Tyler?” Dallon asked, giving Tyler another concerned look.

“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine,” Tyler assured before clearing his throat. “So, what did you find?”

“Well, according to his records, the scar on his torso is from a previous car accident several years ago. The scar on his shoulder is from an unknown accident around the same time. We have the obvious injuries from tonight, but there's a few other minor injuries that seem recent,” Dallon explained, seeming tentative.

“What is it?” Tyler asked, the pit in his stomach making itself known again.

“He has these...bruises and scratches scattering all over his arms, legs, waist, and neck,” Dallon answered, “I have my assumptions, but I don't want to make any conclusions without performing any tests.”

“What kind of tests?” Tyler asked, though part of him knew the answer. He's seen this before and he couldn't believe he didn't see the signs. Or maybe he did, but he just didn't want to believe it.

“I want to bring in one of our sexual assault examination nurses,” Dallon said, his voice low and pained. “Unfortunately we cannot perform any of those kind of tests without his consent, so we will have to wait until he wakes up.”

“Until then, you can let his sister know that she is allowed to visit him now,” Dallon told him, “would you like to debrief her on the situation or would you like me to do it?”

Tyler swallowed hard. “I would really appreciate it if you could sir. I'm not quite sure how to handle this kind of situation.”

Dallon nodded. “Of course Tyler, I understand.”

Tyler gave him a grateful smile and gave one last look at Josh before exiting room. Instead of heading to the waiting room, he stumbled into a bathroom and locked himself in one of the stalls.

Hunching over the toilet, Tyler’s stomach turned uncomfortably and he waited for the inevitable vomit. Nothing came up and the ache soon found itself deep in Tyler’s chest.

Tyler leaned against the stall wall and pulled his knees up, resting his chin on top. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to focus his breathing, but a sob would choke his air before he could breathe it in enough.

The thought of Josh being hurt in such a way felt like a deep cut in Tyler’s chest. Tyler hated himself for not figuring it out, for not helping Josh.

Tyler thought back to all the times Josh flinched at his touch. To the bruise he sported on his jaw for a week. How terrified he looked at the bar when his boss was there….

He should have known.

Taking a deep breath, Tyler wiped his hand across his face and stood up. He left the bathroom and started making his way to the waiting room.

In the waiting room, Abby sat curled in the uncomfortable chair, her head resting on the wall as she slept. Some of the blood and dirt had been washed off her hair and face, but she still looked pretty rough.

Tyler kneeled down and gently shook her shoulder. “Hey Abby, wake up,” he urged.

Amber eyes fluttered open and stared at Tyler groggily. “Hmm, what?” she asked, voice thick with sleep.

“Josh is out of surgery so you can visit him,” Tyler answered, “but you should know the doctors have had to place him into a medically induced coma to help the swelling in his head, but he should wake up once it goes down.”

Abby nodded, still a little out of it. Tyler helped her get up and began taking her to Josh’s room.

“How are you holding up?” Abby asked as the two stepped into the elevator.

“M’fine,” Tyler waved off, “I should be asking you that question.”

“You're allowed to be worried about him, ya know,” she stared, “I know you haven't been together long, but it's okay if you're scared.”

Tyler smiled softly. “You're a lot like him.”

Abby seemed to beam at his words. “Thank you.”

Once he took Abby to Josh’s room, Tyler stayed outside as Dallon explained his condition to Abby. Tyler just couldn't go through hearing it again. Seeing Josh was a bad enough reminder as it was.

After a few minutes, Dallon stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him.

“How’d she take it?” Tyler asked.

Dallon shrugged. “Pretty okay, considering,” he replied, “but, uh, there's something I need to tell you about our patient.”

Dread began to pool in Tyler’s chest. “What is it?” he asked, hesitantly.

“Well, looking through the file you gave me, I found a police report,” Dallon began. “It was a missing child report from three years ago.”

“According to the report, Josh and his sister, Abigail, ran away from home when they were sixteen and fourteen years old,” he continued, “since Abigail is still a minor, we need to call their parents.”

“Ran away? Are you sure calling their parents is a good idea?” Tyler asked, his gut feeling telling him something was off about the situation.

It wasn't that Josh never told Tyler about running away from home, but it was the why that bothered Tyler. Tyler knew that for whatever reason they ran, it was serious.

“What do you mean?” Dallon asked, knitting his eyebrows together as he folded his arms over his chest.

“Look, I hate to be the pessimist, but we need to look at this through the half empty lenses,” Tyler said, “we need to consider why they might have run away from home.”

Dallon nodded understandingly. “Alright, what do you suggest we do? Josh has no custody over his sister, nor is he even capable of taking care of her at the moment. And we need to make it known that neither one of them are still a missing child.”

Tyler thought for a moment. “They have an older sister, maybe we can contact her.”

“Okay, we’ll consider that as an option, but how about we ask Abigail,” Dallon replied.

Tyler nodded and the two walked back into the room. Abby had taken a spot in the chair next to Josh’s bed, both her hands clasped around Josh’s hand tightly. She was chewing down on her lip as she kept her eyes on Josh.

“Abby?” Tyler called, trying to get her attention. Abby lifted her gaze from Josh to Tyler.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, worry lacing her voice.

“Josh is fine if that's what you're thinking,” Tyler quickly assured. “But it has to do with your parents.”

Abby visibly became tense. “What about them?”

Dallon cleared his throat. “To put it simply, we found the missing child report your parents filled out for you and your brother from several years ago,” he said, “obviously we need to report both of your reappearances, but more importantly, we need an adult who’ll be able to take care of you and your brother.”

“I can take care of me and my brother just fine,” she spat, narrowing her eyes at Dallon.

“I'm not questioning your ability, but this is more of legal matter, ma’am. We are aware you ran away from home and we just need to know if it's safe for us to call your parents,” Dallon explained.

Abby shook her head frantically. “No, no, you can't call them. You can't. He’ll hurt him, he’ll hurt him, he’ll hurt him again.” Abby’s breathing grew rapidly again as she started trembling.

“Okay, okay, we won't,” Dallon told her, “you have nothing to worry about.”

Abby sighed in relief, but her shoulders continued to shake. “What about your sister? Ashley? Would it be alright if we call her?” Tyler asked, keeping his tone gentle.

Abby thought for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, that's fine,” she answered, giving Tyler a small smile.

“Then I will go and call her,” Dallon said before leaving the room.

Tyler scratched the back of his neck as he kept his gaze on Abby. “Did he ever tell you?” she asked, her eyes now back on Josh.

“About what?” Tyler asked.

“Our brother, our dad - running away and ending up on the streets,” she said, her voice toneless. “About his b-boss.”

“He told me about your brother; nothing else after that,” Tyler answered. “I had no clue about everything else.”

Abby nodded, but remained silent as she stared at Josh’s sleeping figure.

Tyler wished he could've pushed a little more for Josh to talk to him. Or maybe just try a little harder to get him to trust him. It killed Tyler to know the truth now. Tyler promised himself he was going to fix all of this.

He’ll help fix Josh.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this update! Let me know what you guys think! Your guys' comments on the last couple of chapters have been my absolute favourite thing to read, so thank you for all your wonderful feedback! <3


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't the greatest which sucks cause it took me so long to get it up. I just off of break and I'm already crazy busy so sorry for the infrequent updates

Tyler waited in Josh’s room until Dallon finished calling Ashley. Abby had started nodding off again, her head swaying as she continued to struggle to stay awake.

Looking at both Josh and Abby, the two were broken pieces that made a complete mess. Despite his stable condition, Josh looked like he had been touched by death. Abby was still in her blood and dirt stained clothes, hair matted and tangled with grime.

“Hey Abby,” Tyler said, getting her attention. She lifted her head and blinked sleepily at Tyler. “There's a shower in the bathroom right there if you need to take one. Also, I can get you some clean clothes from the gift shop if you want.”

“Are you sure? You don't have to,” she replied, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand.

“I know I don't have, I want to. I know it's not a lot, but anything to ease the situation ya know?” Tyler said, giving her a small smile.

Abby nodded. “Alright, but - uh, what do I do about this?” she asked, gesturing to the splint on her wrist.

“Oh, uh, we just have to wrap it up with a bag,” Tyler answered. He went over to the cabinets in the room and found some white plastic bags.

“Do you think you’ll be able to manage it by yourself?” Tyler asked, handing the bag to Abby.

“Yeah, I'll be fine. Thank you Tyler,” she replied, taking the bag and stepping into the private bathroom.

Leaving the room, Tyler quickly made his way to the hospital’s gift shop. Guessing Abby’s sizes, he grabbed a sweatshirt and sweatpants. After paying, he returned to the room and knocked on the bathroom door.

“It's Tyler, I have clothes,” Tyler said, raising his voice slightly so she'd hear him over the running water.

“It's unlocked!” she shouted back.

Tyler opened the door and quickly set the clothes on the small counter. Closing the door behind him, he watched as Dallon came back into the room.

“So?” Tyler asked, raising his eyebrows.

“She's on her way, but she lives a bit away. She’ll probably be here within an hour or so,” Dallon answered.

Tyler nodded. “Good, good.”

Tyler listened as Dallon sighed heavily, wiping his palm down his face. “Can I ask you something, Tyler?”

Tyler looked at him oddly as a slip of anxiety began pooling in his stomach. “Uh, of course.”

“Do you know them? Josh and Abigail?” Dallon asked, “I've seen you with patients in similar situations and this one is different, which makes me think you're close to them.”

Tyler sighed. “Yeah, I uh, have known Josh for a little over a month now. We’ve gone out a couple times.”

“Tyler, you know it's not good for nurses or doctors to perform on people they care about,” Dallon told him, “are you sure you want to do this?”

Tyler glanced over at Josh and felt his chest began to ache. It was terrifying to be the one that makes sure he’s okay - make sure he stays alive. It was hard, but Tyler couldn't bear putting his life in the hand of anyone else.

“He's gonna be scared when he wakes up,” Tyler began, walking over to Josh’s bed and tracing his fingertips over Josh’s hand. “I don't want him to wake up to complete strangers, ya know? I know he may not want me as his nurse when he wakes up and that's fine. But for now, I want to be there for him.”

Dallon nodded, understanding. “Alright, but you let me know if it just becomes too much, okay?”

“Yessir,” Tyler replied.

“Well, I need to go check on the other patient. You go ahead and stay with Josh and Abigail, I'll grab you if I need you,” Dallon said, giving Josh’s vitals a quick glance over. Tyler nodded and gave him a quick goodbye as he left the room.

Tyler slowly wrapped his fingers around Josh’s hand, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a soft kiss against his knuckles. He set his hand down when he heard the bathroom door opening.

Abby stepped out of the bathroom, the sweats hanging a little loosely on her thin shoulders. She gave Tyler a small smile as she climbed back into the chair next to Josh.

“Did Dr.Weekes call Ashley?” Abby asked as she smoothed hair away from Josh’s face.

“Yeah, she's on her way,” Tyler answered, “she should be here in the next hour.”

Abby nodded. “It's gonna be so weird to see her,” she mumbled, pursing her lips as her eyebrows drew in together.

“Were you guys on good terms the last time you saw each other?” Tyler asked, leaning against the wall across from Abby.

Abby shrugged. “I dunno. After Jordan died and everything with our dad happened, she just kinda left us to deal with the situation. I think there's definitely a bit of resentment from that.”

“What happened with your guys’ dad? I mean - if you don't mind me asking,” Tyler questioned, playing with some loose thread on his scrubs.

Abby sucked in a shaky breath. “He just fell off the tracks after we lost Jordan. He found solace in alcohol and...well, let's just say he wasn't a nice drunk,” she answered, a distant look in her eyes.

“Oh,” Tyler replied, dumbly. “I'm so sorry you guys had to go through that.”

Abby waved him off. “It's in the past now, no need to worry.”

The two sat together as the hour went by. They listened to the comforting sound of Josh’s heartbeat, providing a little ease to their anxiety. Abby filled any silence with stories told with fond smiles and a nostalgic tone.

“In the house we used to live in, there was this small lot of trees right behind the backyard. Josh and I would go out there all the time,” Abby began to tell Tyler, playing with Josh’s fingers as she spoke. “Josh’s favorite game to play was tag and one time when I was like ten he wanted to play it when it was absolutely pouring outside.” Tyler chuckled when he realized where she was going with the story.

“So Josh was it and I was trying to run away from him and I ended up slipping on this giant puddle,” Abby laughed as she recalled the memory. “I fell face first into the mud and twisted my ankle. I started screaming my head off and Josh had to carry me on his back all the way home.”

“Mom and dad weren't home, which meant Ashley had to deal with taking me to the clinic. She shouted at Josh the whole drive there - I had never seen her so mad,” Abby continued, her face falling a little. “Josh had already felt pretty bad too so that definitely didn't help the situation.”

“She was probably just scared and it came off in anger,” Tyler commented, “one time my little brothers thought it was a good idea to try to longboard down the stairs when it was just me watching them. They both cracked their heads and one them broke their arm. I had never yelled at them before, but I just couldn't help it when I saw them. I was terrified.”

Abby smiled and rolled her eyes playfully. “You older siblings are too over-protective,” she said.

“Well when you pull shit like this, we kinda have to be,” an unknown voice said.

Tyler turned his attention over to the sound of the voice. At the doorway stood a woman in early twenties. She had dark blonde hair like Abby and warm eyes like Josh.

“Ash?” Abby questioned in disbelief. She stood up quickly from her spot next to Josh and rushed over to her sister.

Abby threw her good arm around Ashley’s neck, who immediately wrapped her arms around Abby’s shoulders. A strangled cry shook Ashley’s shoulders and she clung tightly to Abby.

“I'm so glad you're okay,” Ashley said, her voice muffled by Abby’s hair. “I've missed you both so much - I'm so sorry I ever left you guys at home. I should have done something, I'm so sorry Abby, I'm so sorry.”

“It's okay, you don't have to apologize. We’re fine now - well, more or less,” Abby replied, taking a glance over at Josh.

  
Ashley then turned her attention to Josh and her face went a little pale. She looked over to Tyler. “Is he okay?”

Tyler nodded. “He's just fine, the accident caused some trauma to his head so they've placed him into a medically induced coma so ease the swelling,” he answered, “he should be waking up within the next day or so.”

Ashley let out a breath of relief. “Oh thank God,” she said.

Tyler bit down on his lip and scratched the back of his neck. “Well I'll give you guys some space so you can catch up and...whatnot,” he said, coughing awkwardly.

“I'm sure Josh would want you to stay, Tyler,” Abby told him, her voice soft. Ashley gave her a questioning look, but Abby just smiled. “I'm sure Ashley would love to hear all about the guy Josh wasn't shut up talking about for the last couple of months.”

Ashley’s eyes widened as she understood. “Wow, really?” she asked, her gaze traveling up and down Tyler, making him a little uncomfortable.

The three sat together next to Josh’s bed, Ashley taking the chair as Tyler and Abby sat on the ground. The two pounded Tyler with what felt like a thousand questions at a time. Despite his exhaustion, he answered each one as best as he could, the only motivation to keep him awake was Josh’s hand in his.

“So what made you like him?” Abby asked, not looking at Tyler as she focused her attention on braiding Ashley’s hair.

Tyler smiled softly. “I dunno, it was just everything about him. He's so kind and sweet and he has the most beautiful smile I've ever seen,” Tyler began to ramble, “but he has shit opinions on music.” Ashley laughed and nodded in agreement.

Tyler’s chest fluttered as he felt Josh squeeze his fingers around Tyler’s hand.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed it! If you did, make sure to let me know! I love reading your guys' comments, they always make my day x


	26. Chapter 26

Josh saw nothing but pitch black, stuck in some sort of room that only contained nothingness. He walked through the room, searching for any sign of light. He found nothing, only finding more darkness within the room.

He could hear some sort of beeping in noise next to him, but he couldn't find the source of it. The noise was familiar, but Josh couldn't figure out what it was.

Opening his mouth to speak to the darkness, Josh choked on his words, something preventing him from speaking. Wrapping his hands around his throat, Josh coughed and struggled to breathe.

Once the suffocating sensation seized, he continued to search through the empty space. He kept his hands in front of him, stopping when he felt something cold in front of him.

Taking a step back, he was no longer surrounded in darkness. Instead, he found himself in the bar’s storage room. Panic setting in his veins, he rushed over to where he door normally was, but only saw a blank wall.

Josh’s breath quickened and he slowly backed away, finding himself into that corner that had become too familiar to him. Sinking to the ground, Josh wrapped his arms over his neck protectively as the walls moved in closer.

A cry escaped Josh’s lips as he felt pain cover his arms and back. Fingertips pressed deep into his skin, leaving scratches and bruises all over his body.

Unknown hands wrapped around Josh’s neck and he immediately began clawing at them. He found no air as the hands made their grip tighter, the lack of oxygen making his vision fuzzy. When he no longer found the strength to fight, his eyes fluttered shut.

Opening his eyes, Josh saw a bright light. Moving figures were blurred through his foggy eyes, unable to make out what it was. Trying to breathe, the same suffocating feeling came back and he began to choke.

Josh saw a figure moved frantically over him, whatever was causing the choking sensation being slowly pulled from his throat.

Voices surrounded Josh, watered down by the flood in Josh’s head. He coughed violently and he could feel a gentle grip on his hand.

Josh had no time to listen to the voices before the darkness pulled him back in.

The darkness took form of the night sky this time around. This time there were times giving off light, illuminating the world around Josh.

Looking around, Josh saw the familiar abundance of trees around him. Twigs and leaves decorated the ground, broken by whatever caused the muddy footprints that sat next to them.

Josh followed the footprints, hearing the distant sound of laughter in the distance. He ran towards the sound, eventually coming up to the clearing in the woods.

The source of the laughter came from two kids running around the treehouse, giggling as they attempted to tag one another.

The girl stopped when the boy eventually caught up to her as the Jordan smacked her arm. Her lip began wobbling as she gripped her arm.

“Jordan! That hurt!” she whined, rubbing the spot where he hit her.

The boy stopped running and rushed over to the girl. “Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean t-” the boy was interrupted as the girl’s whimpers turned to cries.

She ran away from the boy and towards Josh. She looked up to him and sniffles sadly as she held out her arm to Josh.

“Jooosh, Jordan h-hit me,” Abby cried, pointing to the spot that hurt.

Josh kneeled down and gingerly took Abby’s arm into his hands. “I'm sure it was just an accident, Abby. No need to be upset,” Josh told her.

Abby wiped her sleeve across her nose. “But it h-hurts,” she whimpered, “can you kiss it better?”

Josh nodded and pressed his lips against her arm, offering her a smile afterwards. She smiled back before throwing her arms around Josh’s neck, squeezing tight.

“Thanks Joshie,” she giggled. Josh shut his eyes closed, savouring the embrace of this version of his little sister. The one that still saw Josh as something unbreakable, something that would protect her.

When she pulled away, Josh was blinded by white light and no longer found himself in the woods. Instead he found himself in a hospital room.

Standing up, he looked over at the hospital bed and saw Jordan laying in it. His skin was sickly and near transparent. There was no rise and fall of his chest, the gash in his shoulder still visible.

Abby looked over to Josh with a terrified look in her eyes. She tugged on Josh’s sleeve. “You can kiss it better right?”

Looking between Jordan and Abby, his vision grew blurry once more as air struggled to reach his lungs. He could hear Abby’s voice echoing in his ears as he was blinded by a familiar bright light.

“Josh? Josh? Can you hear me Josh?” he heard Abby continue to call to him, her voice muffled and distant.

The figures moved across Josh’s vision again and Josh coughed as he struggled to speak.

“Is h-he o-okay?” he managed to choke out, his voice raspy from lack of use. “Is Jordan o-okay?”

Josh didn't manage to hear a reply as his eyes fluttered back closed, darkness greeting him like an old friend.

Darkness took form of his old house’s living room. The moon shone outside their living room and all the lights were shut off.

Josh stood at the top of the stairs, watching as Ashley came from her room and into the living. She had a suitcase in one hand and keys in the other.

“You're leaving already?” Josh asked, though the voice didn't seem connected to him. It sounded weird, like a recording.

Ashley stopped in the living room and looked up at Josh sadly. “Come on, Josh, you knew I wasn't staying forever. I've got a home to go back to.”

“You're honestly just going to leave us here?” he asked, “how could you just leave us with him? You saw what he did to me, what he hurts Abby?”

Ashley shook her head. “He's just going through a hard time, dealing with Jordan’s death and everything. I'm sure he’ll be fine soon, you just need to give him time.”

“I'll never forgive you if you walk out that door,” Josh told her, folding his arms over his chest and narrowing his eyes.

Ashley sighed and looked to the door. “I'm sorry Josh,” she said before walking to the front door and leaving.

Josh choked on his words as he tried to call out to Ashley again. A pain in his wrist pricked his veins and hissed as he gripped his arm. The ache forced him to look back up at the bright light.

“I'm sorry Josh,” he heard Ashley say again, but this time it was different. Her voice was shaky and soaked in pain.

Josh had no time to react before he shut his eyes again, being met with a different light when he closed his eyes.

The light came from eyes that shined like honey and were warm like a fireplace. They stared at Josh with a sparkle that would put the stars to shame.

They seemed familiar but Josh couldn't put his finger on it.

Josh felt fingers intertwine with his and watched as the boy smiled softly, those warm eyes now on Josh’s lips.

“Is this okay?” the boy asked, his thumb tracing over Josh’s mouth. A small squeak came from Josh’s lips, making the boy chuckle.

Josh nodded, leaning into the boy’s touch and letting him press his lips against his. His kiss was gentle and soft, keeping the pace slow and steady.

When the boy pulled from the kiss, Josh stared at him dreamily. The boy smiled again. “You need to wake up, Josh,” the boy told him, his voice echoing. “I miss you.”

Josh’s eyebrows furrowed together. “What do you mean?” he asked.

The boy had no time to reply before the bright light came rushing back.

 

It was six days after Josh’s first waking when he finally came to it fully. Over the course of those days, he had woken up three more times. Each time was short, and barely lasted a couple of minutes.

He only managed to speak once, the words causing concern to both Ashley and Abby.

“Jordan was our brother,” Ashley had explained to Dallon after Josh’s second waking. “He died three years ago.”

Dallon had brushed it off, explaining that coma patients typically wake confused, not aware of what's happening.

The next couple times, Josh said nothing. In fact, he hadn't waken up for a long enough time to say or do anything.

On the sixth day, Josh woke fully alert. His eyes had flown open, moving in every which direction. The EKG had picked up pace as anxiety caused Josh’s heartbeat to quicken.

Tyler was quick to Josh’s aide, Ashley and Abby staying on the side as Tyler attempted to calm down Josh.

“Josh? Can you hear me? Can you understand me?” Tyler asked, placing Josh into an upright position as he put a gentle grip on Josh’s shoulder.

Josh nodded, his eyes clouded with confusion and fear as he began to hyperventilate. “Good, good, Josh, do you know where you are?” Tyler asked.

Josh shook his head. “You're in a hospital Josh. You're safe, okay? You just need to calm down, steady your breathing.”

Tyler breathed with Josh, slowly helping him ease his panic. Josh eventually was able to calm himself and Tyler handed him a glass of water.

“Do you remember what happened, Josh?” Tyler asked as Josh finished the water.

“Uh, there was a car crash,” Josh answered, his voice still raspy. He looked over at Abby and his eyebrows furrowed together. “What happened to your arm, Abbs?”

“Oh, my wrist got fractured in the crash, that's all. No big deal,” Abby assured, smiling gently.

Her answered seemed to only cause Josh more confusion as his expression deepened. “B-but you weren't in the c-car,” Josh told her, stuttering over his words. “It was just me, Ash, and Jordan - where is Jordan anyway?”

Dread began to pool in Tyler’s chest once again, his heart dropping as Abby and Ashley’s faces fell. “What are you talking about, Josh?” Abby asked, the fear clear in her voice.

“Josh, what year is it?” Ashley asked, swallowing hard.

“2013, why?” Josh asked, his eyes searching his sisters’ expression for an answer.

“Josh, do you recognize me?” Tyler asked, knowing he wasn't going to get the answer he wanted.

Josh shook his head slowly. “No, am I supposed to?”

Tyler didn't have a chance to keep questioning Josh before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his body completely slumped down.

Josh began to convulse violently as his heart monitor went sporadic. Within minutes, Dallon and a couple more nurses barged into the room. One of them quickly ushered Ashley and Abby out of the room.

Tyler helped move Josh onto his side as he continued to seize. Dallon shouted orders at the other nurse, ordering her to grab Valium. The nurse obeyed and returned quickly with a syringe.

Dallon took the medicine and injected the drug into Josh’s vein. After a few moments, the seizure ended and Josh returned to unconsciousness. The heart monitor returned to a steady beat and the dread remained in Tyler’s chest.

After the other nurses left and Ashley and Abby came back, Dallon checked over Josh and announced it was another false waking.

Dallon looked over to Tyler who had gotten pale. “Are you okay Tyler?” he asked.

Tyler nodded and excused himself out of the room. He hurriedly stormed down the corridor and found himself in the bathroom. He didn't make it to a stall and ended up bending over a trash can, emptying the contents on his stomach.

Ache settled deep into Tyler’s bones, his chest throbbing every time he closed his eyes and saw the look of unfamiliarity Josh gave him.

Josh didn't remember him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you all hate me because woah cliffhanger, but I promise it'll make it up to all of you  
> ANYWAY I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, feel free to yell your feelings at me in the comments, I love reading all of them x


	27. Chapter 27

The air felt cool in Josh’s lungs when he was jerked awake, the bright light blinding his eyes.  The beeping noise he heard in the darkness louder and clearer, hurting his head.

 

Blinking away the fog around his vision, Josh could see the blurry figures of his sister to his side and someone else to his other side.

 

The unknown figure gripped Josh’s shoulder and helped put him into an upright position. The touch was soft and somehow familiar.

 

“Josh? Can you hear me? Can you understand me?” he heard someone asked. He nodded, unable to speak, too focused on trying to get as much as breath as he can.

 

“Good, good, Josh, do you know where you are?” the voice asked. Josh shook his head, vision too blurry to take in his surroundings.

 

“You're in a hospital, Josh. You're safe, okay? You just need to calm down, steady your breathing.”

 

The unknown figure took slow, deep breaths, encouraging Josh to do the same. Josh focused on their. breathing, trying to sync his with it.

 

When he finally was able to steady his breathing and the cloud around his vision went away, he saw the concern looks of his sisters and a stranger with warm familiar eyes.

 

The stranger, who Josh assumed was a nurse with his scrubs, handed Josh a paper cup of water.  Josh took it gratefully and quickly downed the cool liquid.

 

“Do you remember what happened Josh?” the brown eyed boy asked, his voice gentle.

 

Josh thought for a moment and headlights flooded his memories. Ashley’s shouting was clear in his head and the image of Jordan hitting against the window, glass embedding his skin.

 

He swallowed the bile that rose in his throat. “Uh, there was a car crash,” Josh answered, the use of his voice bringing pain to his throat. He looked over to his sisters and his face scrunched together when he saw Abby, who didn't look quite right.

 

“What happened to your arm, Abbs?” Josh asked, glancing at the splint that covered her arm.

 

“Oh, my wrist got fractured in the crash, that's all. No big deal,” Abby smiled, reassuringly.

 

Josh knotted his eyebrows together, puzzled.  “B-but you weren't in the c-car,” he stuttered, a tingling sensation rising in his chest and making him uncomfortable.  “It was just me, Ash, and Jordan.”

 

Josh peered around the room for a second. “Where is Jordan anyway?”

 

Josh watched as Ashley and Abby’s faces fell, making panic arise in Josh’s veins.  He wanted to ask more, but the uncomfortable feeling spread from his chest to his bones.

 

“What are you talking about Josh?” Abby asked, her eyes wide with fear.

 

Josh didn't have time to answer her before Ashley asked another question. “Josh, what year is it?”

 

He thought for a moment, a headache beginning to tease his temples. “2013, why?”

 

The boy next to him looked at him with searching eyes. “Josh, do you recognize me?” he asked, almost like a plead.

 

Something in Josh urged him to say yes, knowing he had seen those warm eyes before.  Josh tried to recall any memory of seeing them before, but nothing came to him.

 

Moving in slow motion, Josh shook his head. “No, am I supposed to?” he asked, hoping the boy would give him some sense of clarity.

 

The pressure in his bones and muscles became to much to bear and Josh felt his eyes roll back as soon as the boy opened his mouth to speak.

 

The familiar pool of darkness took captive of Josh once again, the sensation sending panic down his spine.  Stuck in the emptiness, Josh’s bones ached and the metallic taste of blood soaked his mouth.

 

He could feel hands all over his skin, but he couldn't see the source of them.  The pressure in his chest didn't seize. If anything, it got worse.

 

Constantly being pulled into and out of oblivion, Josh was finding it exhausting.  The image of his sisters’ faces plastered into his head, the fear and confusion causing the panic to swell even more.

 

A dim light slowly lit the dark room, bringing a little clarity to Josh’s surrounding.  He found himself back in the hospital room, standing at the doorway.

 

A doctor and a couple nurses surrounded the bed. The figure lying on the bed convulsed and shook violently, the nurses struggling to keep them still.

 

Josh saw the nurse with the doe eyes, helping push the figure onto their side.  His movements were robotic, as if he was on autopilot.  

 

A wave of nausea hit Josh like a hurricane when he could see the figure on the bed and recognized the face of the person.  Josh couldn’t help but noticed how different he looked.  His hair wasn’t dyed pink anymore, half faded and half grown back to the dark brown he hated so much.  His face also looked a little more defined, a little less awkward and gawky.  It was odd seeing yourself and not quite recognizing it as you.

 

He watched uncomfortably as the doctor took a syringe and pierced Josh’s vein.  Josh hissed as he felt something pinch his arm. Slowly, the pressure was released from his chest and he watched as his body relaxed on the bed.

 

The nurse with the warm eyes helped settle Josh back into a comfortable position on the bed, checking to make sure his IV hadn't ripped out.

 

The doctor gave a concern look to the nurse. “Are you okay Tyler?” he asked.

 

“Tyler,” Josh repeated, the name strangely comfortable on his tongue.

 

Tyler nodded and excused himself out of the room, leaving Ashley and Abby with the other doctor.

 

The doctor looked over to Ashley and Abby and gave them an apologetic smile.  Ashley narrowed her eyes at him, folding her arms over her chest.

 

“What the hell just happened?” Ashley asked, her voice echoing in Josh’s head.

 

“I'm going to have to ask one of neurologists for an opinion,” the doctor answered, before stepping out of the room.

 

Ashley sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. Abby sat down in the chair next to the hospital bed and gently grasped Josh’s hand into her hand.  Josh felt a sudden warmth wrapped around his fingers and felt the panic slowly ease down.

 

Keeping her gaze towards Josh, Abby bit down her lip as it began to tremble.  A broken cry came from her throat and she squeezed her eyes shut.

 

“I can't do this, Ash, I c-can't,” Abby said, curling her lips in as tears began to track down her cheeks.  

 

Ashley walked behind Abby and wrapped her arms around her, rubbing her shoulders soothingly. She pressed a kiss into her hair.

 

“How about after Dr.Weekes updates us on Josh’s condition, you and I check into a nearby hotel.  Ya know, to get away from all the craziness here,” she suggested.

 

Abby sucked in a harsh breath. “I can't just leave him here, Ashley,” she said, tracing circles on Josh’s knuckles.

 

“There's nothing you can do to help him, Abbs, you'll just drive yourself crazy if you stay here,” Ashley told her. “Please, I'm sure Josh would want you to rest - to take care of yourself.”

 

Josh felt himself nodded, even though he knew Abby couldn't see him. Abby sighed and moved her hands from Josh’s to Ashley’s, making Josh cold again.

 

“Just for one night, yeah?” Abby asked, looking up to Ashley, who nodded.

 

After a few moments, the nurse - _Tyler_ \- came back into the room. He looked pale and the pain in his eyes made Josh’s chest ache.

 

“Tyler?” Abby asked, her eyebrows scrunched together in concern.

 

A weak smile was forced onto Tyler’s lips as he choked out a breath.  “I’m fine, don’t worry about me,” he told her, massaging the palm of his shaking hand.

 

Abby gazed over Tyler, obviously not buying into his artificial words, but she remained silent.  Ashley sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.  “Dr.Weekes went to go speak with one of the neurologists to get a second opinion on his condition.”

 

Tyler nodded wordlessly, busying himself by checking Josh’s drip and going over all his vitals.  Josh noticed they kept a breathing tube up his nose, the sensation weird in his head.  After a few moments, the doctor from earlier - who Josh guessed was Dr.Weekes - came back into the room.

 

“Well?” Ashley asked, chewing down on her nails.  Looking down at his own nails, Josh noticed he had picked up the same habit as her.  

 

“Well, as you could probably tell, he still hasn’t fully woken up yet - at least, not technically,” Dr.Weekes began to explain, “There’s still some swelling that hasn’t gone down yet, which is most likely the cause of the memory loss he experiences when he woke up.”

 

_Memory loss?_

 

Well shit.

 

“Unfortunately, he will most likely have a few more episodes like this before the swelling completely dies down and he’s able to awake fully,” Dr.Weekes finished, to which Josh groaned.  He was really getting tired of this waking up and then immediately falling back to sleep shit.  

 

“Will he experience any more seizures each time he wakes up?” Tyler asked, his voice void of any emotion, making Josh uncomfortable.  

 

Dr.Weekes hesitated.  “I’m not sure, seizures with T.B.I have always been unpredictable.”

 

“Is the memory loss temporary?” Abby asked, “Will it go away once the swelling does?” She held Josh’s hand once again, this time gripping it like a lifeline.  Josh felt her fingers squeeze around his palm and he wished for nothing more than to do the same.  

 

“There’s no way for us to tell, all we can do is hope for the best,” Dallon replied, smiling apologetically.

 

Ashley nodded and wiped a hand over her worn face, making Josh notice how much older she looked then he last remembered.  “Thank you Dr.Weekes.”

 

The dim light that illuminated the hospital room slowly faded away, making dread rise in Josh’s chest as that too familiar darkness came back to him.  He could still hear the voices of his sisters and Tyler, though they sounded far away, as if he was underwater.  

 

Josh tried to move through the darkness, but everything went in slow motion.  His bones felt like lead, anchoring him and preventing him from moving.  The pressure in his chest returned and adrenaline rested in his veins, turning to panic when it was left unused.

 

He stood there with his eyes squeezed shut, finding comfort in the darkness behind his eyelids instead of the darkness surrounding me.  When the pressure eventually released in his chest, he opened his eyes, no longer seeing darkness.

 

Josh felt warm arms around his shoulders and heard the steady beat of a heart beneath his head.  Glancing around, he saw he was in someone’s living room.  He looked up at the owner of the arms around him, those honey eyes crinkling with a smile when he saw him.

 

“You okay, Josh?  Is this okay?” the warm eyes asked, tracing his fingers through Josh’s hair, making him shiver.  His voice too was watered down and echoing.  

 

Josh nodded wordlessly, still staring into the eyes that begged to be recognized.  He watched as the eyes lost their sparkle and sadness overcame them.

 

“Do you remember me?” he asked, his hand dragging down Josh’s cheek and tracing circles on his jaw.  Josh leaned into the touch as he shook his head.  “You have to remember, Josh.  We just got started - I can’t lose you when I just got you.”

  


It took three days for Josh to wake up again, the only activity being another seizure.  Other than that, Josh had remained completely dormant over the course of those days.

 

Only Tyler continued to stay with Josh for long periods of time.  Ashley had convinced Abby to stay each night at a nearby hotel, still visiting when they could.  It had taken both Tyler and Ashley to assure her that Josh would be fine if she wasn’t there 24/7.  

 

Tyler mostly stayed in Josh’s room, occasionally getting sleep in one of the on-call rooms nearby the room.  He always sat by Josh’s side, ready for any moment he may have another seizure or wake up.  Holding Josh’s hand, he’d try to think of things to talk to him about.  He remembered reading in one of his school books that coma patients can hear their surroundings.

 

“Ya know, today marks the day we met three months ago,” Tyler said, playing with Josh’s slim fingers.  “It’s funny to think that if it hadn’t been for Brendon’s drunk and fucked up ass, I would have never met you.  Funny how things work out like that.”

 

“I wonder if it’s a coincidence,” Tyler began, “I was never one to think things happen for a reason, but I dunno.  Too many things had to happen for us to meet for me to try and think it just happened to be a coincidence.”

 

Josh’s face and hand remained still as Tyler ramble, making a lump form in Tyler’s throat.  He choked out a watery laugh.  “I wonder if you even remember Brendon - or anything that’s happened since the first accident,” he said, chewing on his bottom lip.  “Do you remember me?”

 

“You have to remember, Josh.  We just got started - I can’t lose you when I just got you.”

 

The lump in Tyler’s throat prevented any words from escaping, so he sat in silence with only the sound of the heart monitor, hand still around Josh’s.  After almost of an hour of staying like that, Tyler had begun to get up when he felt Josh’s fingers weakly squeeze Tyler’s hand.

 

Now alert, Tyler watched with wide eyes as Josh knitted his eyebrows together as a groan left his lips.  Slowly, his eyes opened and he narrowed at Tyler as he stared at the older boy.  

 

“Tyler?” Josh asked, voice quiet and small.

 

Tyler’s chest fluttered and he sucked in a breath.  “Yeah, it’s Tyler, I’m here.”  

 

Josh smiled softly.  “I w-won’t forget you, I pr-promise,” he vowed before his eyes fluttered back closed.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See guys? I'm not thaaaat evil. Too much shit is happening, aint nobody got time for amnesia shit. Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! If you did, be sure to let me know! Your feedback means the world to me xx


	28. Chapter 28

Josh blinked wearily as a bright light flooded his vision, the act of waking up becoming too familiar for his liking.  He recognized the low sound of the heart monitor to his left and the warmth that embraced his hand.

 

Slowly, Josh turned on his side and was met with wide eyes.  He smiled weakly, glad to see the familiar face.

 

“Hey Abbs,” he rasped out, his bones managing to find the strength to give her hand a squeeze.

 

Josh watched as her shoulders relaxed and she let out a sigh of relief. “Hey Joshie,” she replied, smiling softly as pushed some hair away from his eyes.

 

“How long have I been out?” he asked, the tingling sense of pins and needles prominent in his arms from lack of use.

 

“According to Tyler, the last time you woke up was two days, but it’s been over two weeks in total,” she answered.

 

“Tyler’s the nurse right?” Josh asked, narrowing his eyes as he searched his sister’s expression.  She stared at Josh with worn eyes and chewed on the inside of her cheek.

 

“Yeah, do you remember him?” she asked, tilting her head to the side as she waited for a reply.

 

Josh thought for a moment, remembering the warm eyes that constantly flooded his vision when he slept.  He remembered the promise he made, her chest aching when he realized he may not be able to keep it.  “I think so,” he said, unsure.  “He’s important to me, right?”

 

“I would say, he’s all you would ever talk about,” she replied, laughing quietly under her breath.  “How about other memories?  Do you remember the year?”

 

“It’s 2016 right?” he asked, to which she nodded.  “It’s weird, I guess.  Like, I remember everything, it’s just… fuzzy I guess.  Like what happened weeks ago feels like older memories from years ago - harder to reach and get to.”

 

Abby smiled sadly and pressed a kiss onto Josh’s forehead.  “I’m sure it’s just gonna take some time, no need to worry about it,” she assured before standing up from her spot next to Josh.  “I’m gonna go get Tyler and Ashley and let them know you’re awake, okay?”

 

Josh raised an eyebrow.  “Ashley is here?”

 

Abby nodded slowly.  “Yeah, do you not remember?”

 

“I dunno - lots of dreams and memories are blurring together, I figured her being here was just a dream,” he explained, playing with the thin material of the blanket that laid on top of him.  

 

Abby sighed.  “You’re not still angry with her, are you?” she asked, biting down on her bottom lip that was already worn and torn from the weeks of anxiety,

 

“Well I’m not exactly pleased with her,” Josh scoffed, a bitter feeling setting in his chest.  

 

Abby curled her lips and squeezed Josh’s hand one last time before leaving the room.  Josh only had time to sit up into an upright position when Abby returned with Ashley and Tyler.  Josh met eyes with Ashley for a moment, a whirlwind of emotions twisting his chest.

 

She sighed quietly and rushed over to Josh’s bedside.  She immediately pulled Josh into her embrace, which made him tense up.  As she ran her fingers through his hair, he relaxed beneath his touch.  

 

He remembered that touch from all the times he ran without looking and fell down, her comfort always there to tell him it was okay.  The touch that hugged him at the hospital the first time around, assuring him she didn’t blame him.  The touch that held his hand when the doctor dug glass out of his shoulder from his father’s beer bottle.  

 

“I missed you so much,” she told him, clinging tightly to his shoulders.  Josh’s fingers wrapped desperately around the fabric of her shirt, terrified she’ll be gone the second he let goes.  

 

“I missed you too, Ash,” Josh admitted, scrubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands when she released him of her hold.  

 

Josh peered over to the doorway where Tyler stood, awkwardly shuffling his feet as he avoided looking at Josh’s direction.  Josh noticed he wasn’t in scrubs this time, instead he was wearing a yellow hoodie that illuminated his honey eyes and made Josh’s chest fluttered.  He remembered that hoodie from when they first met and Tyler had picked Brendon up from the bar.

 

“Ty?” Josh said, his voice soft and quiet, barely audible.  

 

Tyler lifted his head up and he looked at Josh with wide eyes.  “Yeah?” he asked, gently, making Josh’s heart do gymnastics.  He had missed the boy’s unique voice, the sound that Josh had found solace in.

 

Josh motioned Tyler to come to him, waving him over.  Slowly, Tyler came to Josh’s side.  Josh gripped the hem of Tyler’s hoodie, gingerly pulling him down to his level and pressing his lips against Tyler’s.  His heart pounded wildly, the action terrifying and exciting him.  Tyler squeaked in surprise before relaxing into the kiss, cupping his hand over Josh’s cheek.

 

Josh pulled away for air and rested his forehead against Tyler’s.  “‘Missed ya,” Josh hummed, tracing his fingers across the stubble that was beginning to appear across Tyler’s jaw.  

 

Tyler smiled and curled his lips.  “I missed you too, Jishwa,” he said, running his fingers through Josh’s dirty hair.  “I should probably get Dallon in here, to check up on ya and all.”

 

Josh nodded and watched as Tyler stepped out of the room.  Josh turned his attention  to Abby, who had taken resident in the chair next to the bed.  Ashley stood behind her, her fingers playing with Abby’s hair.

 

“How’s the wrist Abbs?” he asked, stifling a yawn.  For someone who had been mostly asleep for over two weeks, he felt exhausted.  

 

Abby shrugged and smiled.  “Still broken, but fine,” she answered, “how’s that knee?”

 

Josh looked down and saw the splint that wrapped around his knee.  The pain in his leg was dulled by the sensation of pins and needles as his leg was still trying to wake up with the rest of him.  “Still broken, but fine,” he echoed, making her smile.

 

Tyler soon returned with Dallon in his tow, he wore a hopeful smile despite the obvious exhaustion in his eyes.  “Hi Josh, it’s good to see you awake and well,” he greeted, walking over to Josh’s bedside.  “How ya feeling?”

 

“A little tired, ironically enough,” Josh chuckled, “but alright considering.”

 

Dallon nodded.  “Good good, well now that you’re awake, there’s something I need to ask you,” he began.  He looked up at Ashley and Abby with uncertainty and cleared his throat.  “Um, if you girls don’t mind stepping outside with Tyler, please?”

 

Ashley hesitated and Abby nodded, understanding.  Tyler escorted the two girls outside the hospital room and closed the door behind them.  Sitting alone with the doctor, Josh felt panic begin to rush through his veins and make his fingers tremble.

 

“Hey, no need to worry Josh, you’re okay,” Dallon assured as the beeping from the monitor began to speed up a bit.  “I just want to help you, okay?  But to help you, I need you to trust me.  Do you trust me Josh?”

 

“I don’t really know you, how am I supposed to trust you?” Josh asked, folding his arms over his chest.

 

“Tyler trusts me,” Dallon told him, “and I would’ve had him stay, but I’m not sure this is a matter you would want to discuss in front of him.”

 

“Just spit it out, please,” Josh urged, his anxiety getting the better of him and forcing his words out aggressively.  

 

Dallon sighed.  “While performing your physical examination, I found some bruises and scratches that I’ve seen too many times on too many patients,” he started.  Josh felt his heart thundering against his chest, already knowing where this was going.  “Josh, I need you to be a hundred percent honest with me - did someone sexually assault you?”

 

Josh tried to swallow the lump in his throat that was preventing him from reaching any air, but it refused to go away.  He felt those hands around his throat, suffocating him, demanding he didn’t tell another soul.  Memories once clouded became vivid and all too real, overwhelming Josh.  Josh decided the worst part of remembering was the bad memories that came with it.

 

Josh’s hands subconsciously came to his throat and he rubbed it soothingly.  He opened his mouth to speak, but the hands prevented him from speaking.  He settled on nodding frantically instead.  Dallon nodded and his expression remained unchanged.

 

“Do you know who did it?  Was it someone you know?” Dallon asked, to which Josh nodded again.  “Can you tell me who it was?”

 

The hands tightened around his throat and shook his head violently.  “I c-can’t, not right n-now.  I j-just can’t,” he replied, nails digging into his throat.

 

Dallon slowly brought his hand to Josh’s and lowered it away from his throat.  “That’s okay Josh, you don’t need to give me all the answers right now.  But can you tell me if you’re still in any danger?  Will this person be able to find you?” he asked and Josh shook his head.  “Good, that’s good.”

 

“I know you can’t tell me everything at the moment - and that’s fine, but I have to file a police report, okay?  So they will need answers from you - do you think you’ll be able to do that?” Dallon asked, keeping his voice steady and gentle.

 

Josh dreaded the thought of having to tell the police everything.  He didn’t want them to know the horrors he’s been through - he didn’t want anyone to know of it.  But he was also terrified that Justin was still out there, ready to pounce on any other naive kid who just needs to make a quick buck.  Josh couldn’t let him stay out there.

 

Josh nodded.  “Yeah, I can do that.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just kinda a short filler chapter for today, but important things will be happening very soon. Unfortunately this means this fic is slowly coming to a close. I'm not sure how many more chapters there will be, but the end is coming soon sadly.  
> Though I was wanting to start doing prompts on here so if you ever want to send me a prompt (or just say hi!) my Tumblr is skittles-trash.tumblr.com  
> Anyway! I hope you enjoyed! If you did, be sure to let me know! x


	29. Chapter 29

“What do you mean you're sending me home?” Tyler asked, folding his arms over his chest as he stared at Dallon indignantly. 

 

They stood in the hallway outside Josh’s room as he slept peacefully. Dallon wanted him to get some rest before the police came for questioning.  Tyler still made sure to keep his voice low so he wouldn't disturb Josh by any chance. 

 

Dallon sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I mean you need to get home. Take a proper shower and get some proper sleep,” he replied, “you haven't left this hospital in over two weeks, Tyler - you need to go home.” 

 

Tyler narrowed his eyes at the older man.  “Did Brendon put you up to this?” 

 

Dallon hesitated. “I can tell you that he's been bugging me about since the first night you didn't go home,” he began, “but I'm the one that's telling you you need to go home. You know Josh is gonna be alright.” 

 

Tyler glanced between Josh’s room and Dallon, his face scrunched into a torn expression.  “Fine, but only because I know how annoying Brendon can be and I don't need you leaving him because of it,” Tyler gave in, defeated. 

 

Dallon snorted. “I've been aware of how annoying Brendon is since day one, I definitely won't be leaving him for that.” 

 

Tyler smiled to himself and nodded. “Just call me if Josh needs me, please?” he asked, curling his lips under his teeth.  He tucked his hands underneath his arms tightly, rocking back and forth on his feels.  

 

“Of course I will, but please Tyler, try not to worry,” Dallon said, patting Tyler on the shoulder.  “Josh is a big boy, he’ll be just fine.  Now go home before I personally throw you out of this hospital”

 

Tyler held his hands up in defense as he began to walk away.  “Fine, fine, I’m going - I’m going.  Don’t get Brendon’s panties in a twist,” he said, sending Dallon a wink and watching the man’s cheeks darken in colour as Tyler erupted into giggles. 

 

Tyler made his way down the corridor of the ICU and into one of the nearby on-call rooms.  Opening the door, he squeaked loudly before quickly trying to close the door.

 

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Tyler called as he shut his eyes.  He frowned as Debby giggled loudly after pulling the shirt onto his shoulders.  

 

“Calm down, Tyler, it’s not like I was completely naked - just changing my shirt,” Debby laughed, motioning Tyler to come in.  Hesitantly, Tyler fully opened his eyes and stepped back into the room once he saw she was wearing more than a bra. 

 

“Still, sorry for just walking in like that,” Tyler said, coughing awkwardly. 

 

Debby shrugged as she pulled her hair up into a ponytail.  “It’s a call room, not a bathroom,” she pointed out, “don’t sweat it, okay?” 

 

Tyler nodded and moved over to the small table where he kept his belongings.  Debby sat down on a bottom bunk to throw on her white sneakers as Tyler gathered his keys, wallet, and phone.  Debby looked over to Tyler as she tied the laces of her shoes. 

 

“Is it true your patient is Josh Dun?” she asked, “the teenage runaway from like three years ago?” 

 

Tyler smacked his lips and nodded.  “Uh yeah.” 

 

Debby pursed her lips and nodded as well.  Her fingers traced across the thin linen of the bed sheets, occasionally creating some sort of shape.  “Is he okay?” she asked, gripping to the fabric. 

 

“Yeah, he’s doing just fine for the most part,” Tyler answered, eyeing Debby carefully.  “Why do you ask?” 

 

Debby laughed quietly to herself and began twirling a piece of her hair between her fingers.  “Oh, it’s just that me and Josh were friends back in high school till he - well, you know,” she began to trail off, turning her gaze back to the sheets.  “It’s good to hear he’s okay though.” 

 

Tyler wanted to laugh himself cause he recognized that look in Debby’s eyes and of fucking course she once had feelings for him too.  The two must share a type of something.  

 

Tyler popped his lips and shoved his stuff into his pockets.  “Well I’ll see ya later, Debby,” he said, leaving the room when she waved him goodbye. 

 

Walking down to the elevators, Tyler headed down to the lobby and left the hospital with a heavy heart.  He made his way to the parking lot and sat down at the bus stop.  His fingers tapped against his thigh as he waited for the bus, the image of piano keys in his head.

 

The bus slowly came to a halt in front of the stop and Tyler quickly climbed on board.  He sat in the closest seat in the front and leaned his head against the window, the sunlight warm against his cheek.  The quick arrival of June had the sun sitting sweetly in the sky and keeping the mornings warm.  

 

Though the sunshine was nice, Tyler had never been a fan of summer.  He liked rain and cold, which wasn’t really the taste in weather you should have when living in California.  Maybe he should move to somewhere where it’s always gloomy and rainy.

 

Tyler was pulled out his thoughts when the bus came to a sudden stop.  Seeing it was his stop, Tyler stood from his seat and hopped off the bus.  He travelled down the pavement till he reached his apartment building.  Climbing up the stairs, he took his keys from his pocket once he reached his apartment.  

 

Opening the front door, Tyler was immediately greeted with a pillow to the face.

 

“What the hell Brendon?” Tyler asked, staring at the boy incredulously.  He slowly set his keys and wallet on top of his pillow as he looked at where Brendon kneeled on the sofa. 

 

“Oh don’t you ‘what the hell Brendon’ me, mister,” Brendon squawked, promptly throwing his hands on his hips.  “It’s been over two weeks since you’ve been home!   _ Two weeks  _ and I barely managed to get a text from you!  I had to ask my fucking boyfriend to tell me what the fuck was happening!  I’m your best friend, Tyler!  How could you worry me like that?” 

 

Tyler lifted his eyebrows in surprise.  “So Dallon is your boyfriend now, huh?” 

 

Brendon’s eyes widened in disbelief as he began to pelt Tyler with every pillow that littered the couch.  “That’s what you got out of that?!” Brendon practically shrieked.  Tyler was very grateful looks couldn’t kill, cause if they did, he’d be dead where he stood. 

 

“I’m sorry!  I’m sorry!” Tyler shouted, shielding his arms in front of his face as Brendon continued to throw things at him.  “I know I’m terrible friend, but you can you  _ please  _ stop throwing things at me!”

 

Brendon shot him a glare, but shoved his shoe back onto his foot before he had a chance to throw it at Tyler.  “I agree, you are a terrible friend,” he said as he climbed over the sofa edge and threw his arms around Tyler’s shoulders.  “But I missed you too fucking much to stay mad at you for very long.” 

 

Tyler sighed and squeezed Brendon tightly.  “I missed you too, Bren.” 

 

“It has totally sucked not having someone to complain to about my awful students,” Brendon told him, making him snort.  “Like, my students are the _ fucking worst _ near the end of the year - the shit they pull is just ridiculous dude.” 

 

Tyler patted Brendon on the shoulder as the two released from the hug.  “Oh c’mon, you have Dallon to complain about students to now, you don’t need me anymore.” 

 

Brendon gasped dramatically and gripped his chest.  “Tyler Robert Joseph - how dare you even imply that I’d ever replace you,” he said, “no man or woman will ever take your place as my best friend, Tyler.  And best friends always get first dibs on the good student stories, got it?” 

 

Tyler laughed and nodded.  “Got it.” 

 

“Good, now you go take a shower and then we’re going to stay in bed for the rest of the day cause momma knows my baby needs some rest,” Brendon said, rubbing his hand over Tyler’s hair and pressing a kiss onto his forehead.  “Also you smell like a hospital - which I know this might come as surprising to you, but it’s not the most pleasant scent in the world.”

 

Tyler snorted and shook his head.  “Thanks mom,” he said as he walked over to the bathroom. 

 

Quickly, Tyler stripped off the grimy clothes he had been wearing for a couple days.  Turning on the water, he stepped in and let the hot water burn his back.  Taking his time, he scrubbed himself clean and let the steam of the water wrap around him.  Once he finished, he shut off the water and grabbed a towel.  Tucking it around his waist, he made his way to his bedroom.

 

Throwing on some sweats, Tyler stepped into the main room where the smell of popcorn and chocolate filled his senses.  He threw himself onto the couch as Brendon returned from the kitchen, balancing a large bowl of popcorn and two mugs of cocoa in his two hands.

 

“Are you only capable of making hot chocolate and popcorn?” Tyler asked as he gratefully took the warm mug into his hand.

 

“Yup,” Brendon replied, popping the ‘p.’  He set the bowl of popcorn and his mug onto the coffee table before walking over to the shelf of movies.  “What’cha wanna watch?” 

 

Tyler shrugged.  “I dunno, what’s the shittiest movie we got?” he asked, not wanting something he needed to give his full attention to to watch.  He was far too exhausted and distracted for any complex movie. 

 

“The shittiest movie you own is Galaxy Quest,” Brendon answered, flipping through every movie case.

 

Tyler made an offended choking noise.  “How dare you call Galaxy Quest shitty, it is an amazing satirical movie that was years ahead of it’s time.” 

 

Brendon snorted as he pulled the DVD case off the shelf and placed the disc into the player.  “Whatever you say Ty,” he said, snatching the remote off the top of the TV and sitting down next to Tyler on the sofa.

 

As the movie played, Tyler and Brendon soon found themselves in the familiar position of tangled legs and awkwardly placed arms.  Brendon threw out sarcastic comments about the stupidity of the film whilst Tyler fought him with every fiber of his being because it’s a good movie  _ dammit _ .

 

Somewhere in the middle of the movie, Tyler felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.  Tugging it out, Tyler furrowed his eyes at the unfamiliar number.

 

**Unknown:** Hey Tyler it’s Josh, Dallon gave him your number 

 

**Tyler:** how is it that i’ve known you for three months and dating you for one and i’m just now getting your number? 

 

**Josh:** I don’t actually have a phone, I’m borrowing Ashley’s phone so I can talk to you 

 

**Tyler:** ah okay is something up ? you okay ? 

 

**Josh:** I’m fine I guess, the whole police thing definitely wasn’t the highlight of my day

 

**Tyler:** were they mean to you? cause i’ll totally beat em up if they were

 

**Josh:** Aha I’m sure you would, but no, it’s just not a fun thing to have to deal with 

 

**Tyler:** did it all work out ? do they have enough evidence ? 

 

**Josh:** Definitely.  They’ve got stuff from building and work permits to workplace violence on him, I highly doubt he’ll be able to get out of this 

 

**Tyler:** that’s so good babe, how you feeling about all of it ? 

 

**Josh:** Relieved I guess?  I don’t know, it’s just weird I guess 

 

**Josh:** I never thought it would end and now it has and I don’t know what to think

 

**Tyler:** well at least you won’t have to worry about him ever again and that’s all that really matters

 

**Josh:** I guess you’re right 

 

**Tyler:** you wanna talk about it babe?

 

**Josh:** Not really

 

**Josh:**  I mean, it’s not that I don’t trust you it’s just….

 

**Josh:** I just don’t want to think about it right now, it’s all I was forced to think about today.  Sorry.

 

**Tyler:** hey don’t apologize, it’s totally okay if you don’t want to talk about it.  don’t worry about it okay? 

 

**Josh:** Okay.

 

**Josh:** So what did you get to do today? 

 

**Tyler:** i got pillows and other various items thrown at my face by actual satan 

 

**Josh:** Awe did Brendon miss you? 

 

**Tyler:** apparently.  right now we’re watching one of the greatest movies to ever exist (despite whatever Brendon says cause he’s wrong)

 

**Josh:** And what movie would that be? 

 

**Tyler:** galaxy quest

 

**Josh:** Never seen it 

 

**Tyler:** WHAT

 

**Tyler:** OH M Y GOSH

 

**Tyler:** YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT 

 

**Josh:** Calm down Tyler, we can make it a date

 

**Tyler:** deal 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another fluffy filler chapter because boy oh boy do i need a break from pain and despair (and I'm sure all of you can agree) and also i have missed Brendon so much like let's be real, he's the real star of this fic   
> Also I just wanted to let you guys know there will be about five more chapters + an epilogue to this fic. I'm working on another fic right now so if you like my writing, that's something you can look forward to after the end of this one. Also, you can send me prompts on my tumblr (skittles-trash.tumblr.com) and I'll write em on here!  
> Anyway! I hope you enjoyed this update! If you did, make sure to let me know! I love reading all the sweet comments you guys send me, they make my day! xx


	30. Chapter 30

_ Several days later _

 

Josh soon figured out sitting in a hospital bed is one of the most boring things you can ever do in your life.  It made him miss being in a coma cause at least that was  _ interesting _ .  Ashley occasionally would give him her phone to entertain himself, but he mostly just texted Tyler, which would end when she would have to go. 

 

Right now Tyler was still at home and Ashley and Abby went to get food, leaving Josh alone in the plain room.  As he sat there staring at all the walls and floors, Josh was starting to resent the colour white a whole lot.  The shade was too bright and gave him a never ending migraine.  

 

The only thing Josh was able to look forward to for each day was his physical therapy sessions.  The room was painted a calming shade of blue and it meant he actually got to get up and leave his forsaken hospital room.  It also certainly helped that  the therapist was really cute. 

 

Not as cute as Tyler though. 

 

Unfortunately for Josh, he had already had his session that day, which meant he was stuck sitting in the blinding hospital room.  His fingers tapped against the railing on the bed, trying to mimic a drum beat that he had stuck in his head.

 

At the sound of the door opening, Josh turned his head so fast he’s pretty sure he gave himself whiplash.  “We’re back!” Abby announced in a sing-song tone.  The two held a couple bags from taco bell and some water bottles. 

 

Ashley sat down in the chair next to Josh and Josh squeezed to the side of the bed so that Abby could climb in next to him.  She technically wasn’t allowed to do that, but no one seemed to really care all that much.  She passed him a water and his food, to which he took gratefully and gave his thanks to Ashley.  

 

“How was your therapy session?” Ashley asked in between bites. 

 

Josh shrugged as he sipped on his water. “Fine, I guess. Knee really hurts now though. They won't let me keep the brace on afterwards which sucks.” He looked down at his knee that was decorated with bruises and the ugly surgical scar he acquired. 

 

“If you keep it on, you'll become reliant on it,” Abby commented, mouth full of taco. 

 

“That would beat trying to keep my knee straight on my own,” Josh replied, slowly trying to reposition his legs. 

 

“You need some more medicine for the pain?” Ashley asked, her eyebrows knitted together in concern. 

 

Josh hesitated. “Yeah, but I don't wanna bother Dallon,” he muttered, playing with the sheets absent-mindedly. 

 

“Well I don't mind bothering him so I'll go get him,” Abby said, hopping off the bed and making Josh grimace when she shook the bed. She mumbled an apology and exited the room. 

 

The two sat in silence as they ate.  Josh would've called it comfortable if Ashley didn't look so deep in thought, her expression scrunched together in concern. 

 

“I can hear you thinking, Ash,” Josh said,making Ashley look up, “what's up?” 

 

Ashley began to bite down on the tip of her thumb as she stared at Josh.  “I, uh, wanted to ask you something - it’s about Abby,” she answered, licking her lips.

 

“What about her?” Josh asked, his chest tightening. 

 

Ashley sighed and ran a hand through her hair.  “I want her to stay with me,” she began, her words starting to run a mile a minute out of her mouth.  “I mean - I know she’s turning eighteen in a couple months, so she can do what she wants then, but I want what’s best for her now.  I know things have been hard between us, but I think I could give her best chance right now.  I can put a roof over her head, put food in front of her - maybe even help her catch up on school and all that.  I understand if you want her to stay with you, but will you please at least think about it?” 

 

Josh wanted to say no.  He wanted to tell her that  _ he  _ was the one that had taken care of Abby for the last three years whilst Ashley walked out on the two of them.  He was the one that went through hell and back just to make sure she had food to eat.  He put a roof over her head - more or less - and they had been fine. 

 

But she was right, Ashley would give her her best chance.  And Josh just wanted what’s best for her.  “You can come to, but ya know, I live all the way in San Francisco.  I wasn’t sure if you would want to be that far from Tyler.” 

 

“I want her to go with you,” Josh admitted, if somewhat reluctant.  “I can’t take care of her as best as you can.  If she wants to go with you, then please, take good care of her.” 

 

Ashley’s expression softened and she took a hold of his hand.  “Of course I’ll take care of her, Josh,” she assured, squeezing his hand tightly.  “I’ll do better this time around - I promise.” 

 

Josh smiled softly and placed his other hand on top of their joined ones.  After a moment, Abby came back into the room with Dallon in her tow.  The doctor did his usual round of asking Josh how he was doing and if he needed anything besides more medicine.  

 

“So Josh, I’ve actually got some good news for you,” Dallon said after he gave Josh more painkillers.

 

“Really?  That’s different,” Josh joked, to which Abby lightly smacked him on the arm. 

 

“Well, it looks like your knee and head have been healing up just fine so we’ll be able to release you in a couple days,” Dallon explained, smiling comfortingly to the younger man.  

 

Josh nodded understandingly.  “Awesome - uh, what about the bill?” he asked, hesitantly.  The dread he had been feeling over the subject for the last few days coming at him with full force.  He knew there was no way he was going to be able to cover the cost of everything.  

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Ashley quickly said, patting Josh’s hand.  “I’ve got it covered.” 

 

Josh opened his mouth to protest, but Ashley quickly stopped him.  “Well Ashley, if you don’t mind stepping out with me, I have some paperwork I’ll need you to sign and looked over,” Dallon told her. 

 

Ashley nodded and stood from the chair.  “Of course.” 

 

The two began walking over to the doorway and Dallon paused to look over to Josh.  “Oh also Josh, you have a visitor,” he said before leaving the room with Ashley. 

 

Only a few seconds pass before warm eyes appeared at the doorway and stared at Josh like the stars and moon.  Josh’s stomach did a backflip and he had no control over his lips as they formed a gentle smile.  Abby cleared her throat and turned on her heel. 

 

“I’m - uh, gonna go get some fresh air or something,” Abby coughed, passing Tyler as she left the room. 

 

Once Abby was out of the room, Tyler made his way over to Josh’s side.  Josh reached out to him and Tyler gladly took his hands into his.  “Hi,” Tyler said, a little breathlessly as he stared at Josh.

 

“Hi,” Josh echoed, enjoying the warmth of Tyler’s calloused and cracked fingers.  

 

“Is it okay if I kiss you?” Tyler asked, his eyes wide as he bit down on his lip.  Josh nodded shyly and Tyler leaned down to his level, scooping his cheek into his head.

 

Pressing their lips together softly, Josh’s hand made it’s way to Tyler’s hair and he moved his fingers through it.  Tyler moaned slightly as Josh gave a strand of hair a little tug.  Tyler continued to ask for Josh’s permission as his kiss began to move across his lips and down to his jaw.

 

Josh wanted to say yes, tell him he was always okay with Tyler.  But the blue eyes that danced around his vision began to make his skin crawl and he had to say no.  

 

“I’m sorry - it’s just, I’m sorry, I can’t,” Josh said, focusing his gaze away from Tyler and onto the bed sheets.  

 

“Hey, no need to apologize.  I want you to feel as comfortable as you need to be, okay?  I understand if you don’t want to do certain things or just want to take things slow.  You never have to tell me sorry,” Tyler quickly reassured, pecking Josh’s cheek. 

 

Josh’s cheeks burned red and he smiled lightly.  He was too lucky.  “You’re amazing,” Josh told him, his fingers tracing Tyler’s collarbone that was exposed by the loose tank top he wore. 

 

Josh then scooted to the other side of the bed and motioned Tyler to lay next to him.  Carefully, Tyler crawled next to Josh and wrapped his arms around Josh when he said it was okay.  Josh rested his head against Tyler’s chest, finding solace in Tyler’s steady heartbeat. 

 

“Hey Josh?” Tyler said after a few moments of comfortable silence.

 

“Yeah?” Josh hummed, his fingertips gliding across the faint scars that littered Tyler’s wrists.  The sight made him sad, knowing such a beautiful boy once caused himself harm, but also happy that he was no longer in that place.  Part of Josh wanted to ask him about it, ask him why, but he didn’t want to push something he may not want to talk about. 

 

“When you leave the hospital, I don’t want you to go back to living under an overpass,” Tyler began.  ‘Abby must have told him,’ Josh thought as the other boy paused to take a shaky breath.  “I want you to come stay with me - Abby too, if she wants.” 

 

Josh turned his head to look up at Tyler with wide eyes.  “You want me to move in with you?” Josh asked, to which Tyler nodded.  “Geez Tyler, we’ve barely even dated for a month.  You could at least buy me a drink first.” 

 

Tyler rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless.  “You’re not even old to drink yet,” Tyler shot back, making Josh cringe slightly.  “And I understand that it’s moving somewhat quickly, but I want you to have a safe place to stay - for you and Abby.” 

 

“Abby’s actually probably gonna stay with Ashley, so you don’t need to worry about her,” Josh said, “but are you sure?  I don’t want to intrude.” 

 

“I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t sure,” Tyler giggled, “unfortunately I still have Brendon there, but he just crashes on the couch.  Or he could just stay with Dallon so you can have the bed to yourself.” 

 

“I wouldn’t mind sleeping with you,” Josh said, his face turning a shade darker as he realized how that sounded when Tyler laughed at him.  “I mean - sleeping in the same bed with you.  I don’t - uh - mind sharing a bed with you - _ stop laughing at me _ !”

 

Tyler gasped as he tried to breathe, too busy laughing to take in any air.  “I’m sorry, but - oh babe, you’re just too cute,” he said as he stared fondly at Josh.  

 

Josh shot him a glare.  “I hate you.” 

 

Tyler laughed and shook his head.  “Nah, you don’t.” 

 

Josh pouted and crossed his arms over his chest.  “You’re the worst.”    
  


“So I’ve been told,” Tyler replied before leaning down to plant another kiss against Josh’s lips.  Josh wanted to reject to kiss because  _ dammit  _ he’s stubborn.  But Tyler’s lips were also really soft and felt really nice against his. 

 

Pulling away from the kiss, Josh rested his forehead against Tyler’s and narrowed his eyes.  “I still hate you.” 

 

Tyler simply smiled.  “Mmhmm, I’m sure you do, babe.” 

 

Josh’s chest fluttered the same as when the two texted and Tyler called him that.  The nickname was nice and Josh wanted Tyler to say it all the time.  Josh settled back down onto Tyler’s chest and they rested once in silence.  Josh’s skin didn’t crawl when Tyler’s fingers traced around the scratches that littered Josh’s arms, instead he felt himself relax further into the touch. 

 

He felt safe as long as he was in Tyler’s arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's making me sad as we slowly come to the end of this fic. I'm really gonna miss writing it.  
> But since it's coming to an end, I was wondering if there's any questions you guys would like me to address in one of the future chapters like if I left any holes in the plot or just something you're curious about. Let me know in the comments!  
> Anyway! As always, I hoped you enjoyed it, and if you, let me know! All your feedback means the world to me! xxx


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cant believe this has over 200 kudos that's completely unbelievable  
> thank you so much for all your guys' support, it's been so overwhelming x

Back in elementary, Josh remembered being so jealous of kids who would break their foot or leg and get to walk around with crutches.  When Josh got discharged and needed to walk around, he very quickly learned crutches weren’t as great as he thought they were. 

 

“These fucking suck,” Josh told Tyler as he repositioned the crutch under his arm for the hundredth time that time.  

 

Tyler laughed as he guided Josh through the parking lot, his hand ghosting around Josh’s arm.  He twirled Josh’s car keys on his fingers as they walked up to Josh’s beat up car.  The front had been completely smashed and the front window was gone, but the car still drove and that’s all that mattered to Josh. 

 

Tyler opened up the passenger door for Josh and carefully helped him climb into the car.  Once Josh was situated, Tyler walked around to the driver’s side and hopped into the car.  Turning on the ignition, he pulled out of the parking lot.  

 

“Hey Ty - do you think we could stop by somewhere before going to your place?” Josh asked, drumming his fingers against his thigh as he gazed out the window.

 

“Of course, where do you wanna go?” Tyler asked.

 

“To the abandoned bridge on Phun street,” Josh answered, “there’s some people I gotta say goodbye to.” 

 

The overpass was quite a ways from the hospital, leaving Josh and Tyler plenty of time to sit in complete silence.  Unfortunately for Josh, since the windshield was completely gone, someone had taken to steal his car radio.  Which meant there was no music to fill the silence the two sat in. 

 

When they arrived at the shelter, Josh saw two familiar figures sitting on top of the bridge, the two tangled together in their shared embrace.  As the car came to a stop, Josh watched as the two began scrambling down the ladder bolted to the side of the overpass when they saw Josh’s car. 

 

Slowly, Josh got out of the car, denying any help from Tyler.  Josh hobbled over to Pete and Patrick, giving them a reassuring smile when the two stared at him with worry painted expression. 

 

“What the fuck happened?” Pete asked, rushing over to Josh’s side.  Patrick followed close behind, inspecting the small stitches that covered Josh’s face.  “You’ve been gone for over two weeks and you come back on crutches and a destroyed car?  And where’s Abby?  Seriously dude, what the fuck did you do?”    
  


“We got into a car crash - and Abby’s at a hotel with my sister right now,” Josh answered, the worry never leaving the couple’s faces.  “Everything is fine.” 

 

Patrick glanced over at Josh’s car.  “Who’s that in the driver’s seat?” 

 

“Oh, uh, that’s Tyler,” Josh said, “I’m actually going to be living with him now.”  

 

“Oh,” Pete replied, blinking in surprise.  “Oh - uh, wow.  T-that’s so great, Josh, I’m really happy for you.” 

 

Patrick smiled brightly and gingerly pulled Josh into a warm hug.  “That’s so amazing to hear, Josh!  I’m so glad you and Abby finally got back onto your feet.” 

 

“Me too,” Josh said, “but I’m gonna miss you guys a lot.” 

 

“We’ll miss you guys too,” Patrick said, his eyes crinkling as his smile turned a little sad. 

 

Josh cleared his throat.  “I wanted to thank you guys, I don’t know what we would have done if you guys hadn’t taken us in,” Josh told them, curling his lips as his eyes became misty.  “I owe you both so much and I’ll never be able to repay all that you’ve done for me.” 

 

“No need to thank us, Josh - guys like us gotta stick together, right?” Pete said, patting Josh on the arm.  “I’m real proud of ya, you’ve grown so much from that scrappy kid I found on the side of the road.” 

 

The three of them shared last hugs and Josh gathered his and Abby’s stuff from the shelter before Josh departed back tearfully to the car.  He waved them once last goodbye as Tyler drove away from the place he called home for a year. 

 

“Who were those guys?” Tyler asked as he began to head towards his apartment building. 

 

“Oh, that’s Pete and Patrick.  They took me and Abby in a year ago,” Josh answered, resting his head against the pane of the window.  “They’ve been living at the overpass since they were like seventeen, I think.” 

 

“Wow - how come?” Tyler asked as he turned the car down a corner of the street. 

 

“It’s the typical story - it’s the summer of 2001 and Pete meets Patrick at some camp their parents forced them go to.  They fell in love and started dating, but of course their asshole parents didn’t approve and said they weren’t allowed to see each other anymore.  Asshole parents found out and Pete ran away with Patrick after Patrick’s dad tried to ‘beat the gay out of him’,” Josh retold the story Pete told him after Josh had asked the same question.  He remembers the ache that shone painfully in Pete’s eyes when he told Josh, but how that pain changed into love when he looked over Patrick.  

 

“That’s fucking terrible,” Tyler commented, his expression contorted into one of pain and empathy.  “My mom was like that when I told her I was bisexual.  Luckily she never tried to hit me like that, but she definitely continued to set me up with girls after I told her.” 

 

Josh winced sympathetically.  “Wow, that’s rough.” 

 

“Yeah, it makes me glad she’s not around anymore,” Tyler stated, bitterly as he pulled up to the front of the familiar apartment building.  Josh nodded understandingly, sharing the emotion Tyler felt.

 

Parking the car, Tyler hopped out and walked over to Josh’s side.  He opened the door and helped him get out.  “We should probably take the elevator instead of the stairs,” Tyler said as Josh adjusted the crutches under his arm. 

 

The two walked over to the elevators together and Tyler hit the ‘2’ button once they got inside.  After barely a second, the doors opened and they headed towards to Tyler’s apartment.  Pulling his key out of his pocket, Tyler unlocked the door and they entered the cozy room.  Greeted by the cozy atmosphere, Josh smiled - he loved Tyler’s apartment. 

 

“Luckily Brendon is over at Dallon’s place right now watching his daughter so you don’t have to worry about him bugging you,” Tyler told Josh, teasingly.  “Imma go set your stuff into my room, okay?  Go ahead and make yourself comfortable.” 

 

Josh nodded and sat down on the soft sofa as Tyler walked into his room.  As Josh melted into the comfort of the sofa, Tyler came back to the main with his phone in his hand, the screen illuminating the small smile on his face.

 

“Who ya texting?” Josh asked as Tyler settled down next to Josh. 

 

“Oh, just my sister,” Tyler answered, his fingers flying across the keyboard on his phone.  “She’s coming up to California for work so she wants to come and visit.”

 

“That’s nice,” Josh said, struggling to get his stupid leg as comfortable as the rest of him.  “Where does your sister live?” 

 

“She lives back home with my family in Columbus,” Tyler said, locking his phone and shoving it back into his pocket.  “I had moved to California when I graduated high school because I prefered the school here than the one back home.”

 

“Huh, that’s funny, I’m originally from Columbus too,” Josh stated, “we had to move to California when I was like nine because my dad had gotten a new job.” 

 

“Wow, that’s crazy,” Tyler said, his eyes widening in surprise.  “To think, we could’ve met when we were kids maybe.” 

 

“You wouldn’t have liked me as a kid - eight year old me was emo way before it was cool,” Josh said, making Tyler laugh loudly.  

 

“Well you certainly didn’t look emo in all the baby pictures Ashley showed me,” Tyler told him, smirking cheekily.  Josh groaned and ran his hands over his face as Tyler continued to laugh obnoxiously.  “Aw calm down, Jishwa, you were absolutely adorable - now your pictures from  _ high school _ are complete different story.”  

 

Josh grabbed one of the pillows and pressed it against Tyler’s face, muffling his words that wouldn’t stop coming out.  Unfortunately, Tyler was a lot stronger than Josh and was able to get out from under his grasp quite easily, making Josh pout. 

 

“Tell your sister to bring lots of old pictures of you so then we’re even,” Josh said, folding his arms over his chest petulantly as he glared at Tyler.  

 

“Fine by me - I was an absolutely adorable child,”  Tyler remarked, smugly.  

 

“What about in high school hm?  You had to go through an awkward phase at one point,” Josh said, pointedly.

 

“I’m still in an awkward phase,” Tyler replied, making Josh snort.  “But not in high school, I was like fucking Troy Bolton in high school.” 

 

Josh immediately bursted in a round of giggles.  “Hold on - did you play basketball?” he asked, to which Tyler nodded.  “Holy shit, I can’t believe  _ you  _ were a  _ jock _ .”

 

Tyler scoffed, offended.  “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

 

Josh held his hands up in defense.  “Look, it’s just a little hard to believe that the same guy who cried after watching Titanic and dedicated a day of his life of learning My Heart Will Go On on piano also played basketball and was the school jock.” 

 

Tyler gasped dramatically and clutched his heart.  “I told you that in confidence you wouldn’t use it against me - how could you betray my trust like that?” 

 

Josh rolled his eyes, but gave Tyler a fond smile.  “Ya know, I’ve never heard you play piano before - or sing,” he pointed out.

 

Tyler raised an eyebrow.  “Is this your way of asking me to play for you?” Josh nodded and Tyler rolled his eyes, but got up from the couch anyway. 

 

Tyler walked over to the piano and sat down on the bench in front of it.  He cracked his knuckles before resting his fingers on the black and white keys.  “I haven’t played in awhile, so don’t expect anything great.” 

 

“Just play,” Josh told him, softly as a small smile played on his lips.

 

Tyler nodded and his fingers began moving against the keys.  A simple melody of only a couple keys started off the song and he used the same pattern as he traveled down the piano.  After a progression, Tyler opened his mouth to sing. 

 

“ _ I know where you stand, silent in the trees _

_ And that’s where I am, silent in the trees.” _

 

Tyler’s hand traveled further up the piano, the melody becoming a little more complex as the notes strung together beautifully.  Josh felt his chest flutter at the sound of Tyler’s voice.  It was higher than most guys and a little gravelly, but it was beautiful. 

 

_ “Why won’t you speak where I happen to be? _

_ Silent in the trees in, standing cowardly.” _

 

The notes turned to chords as Tyler began to pound the piano, his voice becoming a little louder as he sang.  He sounded desperate, as if he was pleading to the words.

 

“ _ I can feel your breath _

_ I can feel my death  _

_ I want to know you, I want to see _

_ I want to say _

_ Hello.” _

 

His fingers repeated the melody from before as his voice faded away from the piano.  After repeating the notes a few more times, his hands settled on the last chord and he stood still once the song ended.  Josh sat there a moment, staring at Tyler with awestruck eyes. 

 

“Please say something, I can’t stand silence,” Tyler said, giving a nervous a chuckle, his voice a little strained.  When he turned around, Josh noticed his eyes were a little glossy. 

 

“That was… incredible,” Josh said, “that song is beautiful, who is it by?” 

 

“Oh, uh, it’s by me.  I wrote it when I was seventeen - I think,” Tyler answered, his cheeks becoming tinted with a blush.  

 

Josh’s eyes widened in surprise.  “That’s amazing, I absolutely loved it, Tyler.  You’re really good,” he told him, sincerely.  Josh’s heart burned with the desire to hear more from the boy. 

 

Tyler ducked his head down and rubbed the back of his neck.  “Thanks,” he said, shyly.  

 

“Have you written anymore songs?” Josh asked, hopefully.  Tyler nodded.  “Can I hear them?” 

 

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Tyler said, rubbing his fingers over his knuckles as he turned back to face the piano.  

 

Pressing his fingertips onto the piano, the sound was much different than the last.  It was happier - more hopeful.  It started off with a simple two note melody like the last, but escalated much quicker. 

 

“ _ You say things with your mouth, cobwebs and flies come out  _

_ I hear a second voice behind your tongue somehow _

_ Luckily I can read your mind, flies and cobwebs unwind _

_ They will not take you down, they will not cast you out.” _

 

The notes on the piano grew faster as the words began to come out faster, taking Josh by surprise. 

 

_ “Dear friend, here we are again pretending to understand how you think your world is ending _

_ Sending signals and red flags in waves, it’s hard to tell the difference between blood and water these days _

_ I’ll pray that one day you’ll see, the only difference between life and dying is one trying _

_ And that’s all we’re called to do, so try to love me and I’ll try to save you.” _

 

The melody slowed back down and turned more joyful as Tyler’s finger danced across the piano.  

 

“ _ Won’t you stay alive?  I’ll take you for a ride _

_ I will make you believe you are lovely.”  _

 

Tyler repeated the words, this time with more force and emotion behind them.  He watched as his fingers pressed harder against the keys, making them louder and more powerful.  

 

“ _ Your redemption won’t grow stale, we are now just setting sail  _

_ On the seas of what we fear, reason now is growing near to me.”  _

 

The sound of the song quickly changed as his playing and singing became slower, the timing much different to how it’d been during the rest of the song.  Tyler’s voice became soft, but never lost its power.  

 

“ _ I’m coming clean  _

_ God, hit me straight on _

_ God, hit me straight on.”  _

 

_ “Don’t be gone, don’t be gone. _

_ Don’t be gone, don’t be gone.”  _

 

Tyler continued to repeat those words before going back to the first line of the song.  His playing became harder once more as he travelled back to the chorus.  Josh was back to staring at him in awe when his hands played the final chord of the song.  

 

“Did you like it?” Tyler asked, biting down on his lip as he looked at Josh hopefully.

 

Josh nodded vigorously.  “Yes, absolutely, I loved it - it was so sick.”

 

Tyler giggled and looked back down at the ground.  “Well that’s good since I kindawrotethesongforyou,” Tyler said, saying the last part so fast Josh almost didn’t understand what he said. 

 

“Oh,” Josh said, dumbly, taken back.  He quickly recovered when he saw Tyler’s face fall a little.  “Wow, really?  You wrote that song for me?” Tyler nodded shyly, his face completely taken over by a blush.  

 

Slowly, Josh stood from the sofa and hobbled over to the piano.  He leaned down to Tyler’s level and pressed his lips against Tyler’s.  Tyler squeaked in surprise, but quickly melted into the kiss.  Josh took the liberty to deepen the kiss, gripping to Tyler’s hair desperately and making him whimper under Josh’s touch. 

 

Josh immediately pulled back and looked at Tyler with wide eyes.  “Oh I’m sorry - was that too much?” Josh asked, voice small. 

 

Tyler’s face scrunched together into a confused expression.  “What?  No, of course not, that was incredible Josh,” he assured, stroking Josh’s hair gingerly.  “I promise I will let you know if I’m not okay with something, just like you let me know - okay?” 

 

Josh nodded.  “Good, now let’s go back to the couch, yeah?  You shouldn’t be standing without your crutches babe,” Tyler told him, standing up from the piano bench.  Josh whined childishly as Tyler guided him back to the sofa.  “Hey, doctor’s orders, mister.” 

 

Josh rolled his eyes.  “You’re not even a doctor, Tyler,” he pointed out, but Tyler waved him off.  

 

“Whatever, nurses do more shit than doctors,” Tyler stated, before plopping down on the couch next to Josh.  “Anyway, how about I order some pizza and we can watch a movie, yeah?” 

 

“Sure, what movie?” Josh asked.

 

“Don’t you remember?  You told me you would watch Galaxy Quest for our next date,” Tyler winked as he pulled out his phone to order pizza. 

 

Josh soon found himself resting in Tyler’s embrace, a pizza box sitting on his lap as the two shared.  His attention was split on actually watching the movie and listening to Tyler explain why the movie is a lot more clever than appears.  He decided it would be in his best interest not to tell Tyler he thought the movie was completely stupid. 

 

“Did you like it?” Tyler asked, staring at Josh with excited eyes.  Josh nodded wordlessly and the boy beamed.  “Do you want to watch another movie or do something else?” 

 

“Hmm, I don’t care, whatever you want,” Josh hummed, snuggling closer into Tyler’s chest.  Tyler laughed lightly and ran his fingers over Josh’s arm. 

 

The two agreed to watch another movie and Josh told Tyler to pick again.  He picked one Josh had never heard of called ‘Donnie Darko’ and said it was probably his favourite movie.  Josh watched with all his attention, soon understanding why the movie was Tyler’s favourite.  

 

“The Donnie dude reminds me a lot of you,” Josh told him, his voice low so he wouldn’t interrupt the movie.    

 

Tyler laughed quietly.  “Maybe I’ve just subconsciously absorbed his personality with the amount of times I’ve seen the movie.” 

 

Exhaustion soon swept over Josh as the movie slowly was coming to the end.  He struggled to keep his eyes open, wanting to see the end for Tyler.  Despite his best efforts, Josh soon melted into a peaceful oblivion.  

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another fluffy chapter ??? who even am i anymore   
> Hope you liked it! If you did, be sure to let me know what you think! x


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter ever, almost 4K words. Can you believe it? Cause I certainly can't

After living in Tyler’s apartment for a few days, Josh learned several things:

  1. Tyler is an insomniac and Josh will wake in the middle of the night to him playing video games at four in the morning and screaming at the tv
  2. Tyler owned more movies than anyone in the world and Josh had already seen twenty new movies within the span of a few days
  3. Brendon had the worst habit of stumbling home at two a.m after being out with Dallon and coming into Tyler and Josh’s room and flopping on top of them
  4. Tyler is a morning person and likes to make pancakes
  5. Tyler makes the best pancakes in the whole damn world
  6. Brendon can consume fifteen pancakes in one sitting



Josh discovered three of these things one morning when he woke to an empty bed, the sweet aroma of pancakes, and the sound of Tyler and Brendon singing obnoxiously. Peeling his eyes open, Josh squinted when he was greeted by sunlight streaming from the window on the right of Tyler’s room.

Sitting up slowly, Josh stretched out his limbs and yawned loudly. Wiping the sleep from his eyes, he gingerly moved his legs to the edge of the bed. Grabbing his crutches, he hopped out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen.

Tyler stood in front of the stove, pouring pancake batter onto a burning griddle. Brendon sat on the counter next to him, swinging his legs back and forth as he belted out lyrics. He stopped his loud singing when he saw Josh enter the kitchen.

“Good morning Jishwa!” Brendon greeted, which earned him a smack by spatula from Tyler. “Ow! What the hell was that for?”

“Get ya own nickname for him, Breadbin,” Tyler replied. He looked over to Josh and smiled softly. “Go sit down babe, I’ll bring you some pancakes, okay?”

Josh did as he was told and bounced over to Tyler’s small dining table, leaning his crutches against the wall once he sat down. After a few minutes, Tyler and Brendon came to the table, a plate of pancakes and several forks in Tyler’s hands.

Tyler set the plate of pancakes in the center of the table and handed a fork and paper plate to Josh. Tyler sat down on the chair next to Josh and Brendon remained standing, leaning against the wall as he shoved pancake after pancake into his mouth.

“Hey babe,” Tyler said, making Josh look up from his plate of food. “Ashley texted him a little bit of you and told me to have you call her when you can. She said it’s nothing urgent, so don’t be worrying about it.”

Josh nodded and told him thank you in between bites. Long after Tyler and Josh finished their few pancakes, Brendon continued to shovel pancakes into his mouth, not even stopping to breathe. Josh curled his nose in disgust and asked to borrow Tyler’s phone to call his sister.

After several rings, Ashley eventually picked up. “Hello?”

“Hey Ash, it’s Josh,” he greeted, unable to look away as Brendon finished his twelfth pancake and proceeded to start on another one.

“Oh hey Josh, how you feeling?” Ashley asked, her voice sounding a little distant as he heard rustling and slight banging from the other side of the phone.

“Fine - albeit a little disgusted at the moment, but that’s not important,” Josh replied, resisting a gag as he watched Brendon managed to fit two whole pancakes into his mouth. “What did you need me to call you about?”

Josh heard as Ashley sighed through more rustling. “So basically, work called and I need to head back to San Francisco as soon as possible,” Ashley explained, “and I know Abby wanted to wait until after your birthday next week to leave, but I have to leave late tonight so I can be home by tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, well that sucks,” Josh said, his stomach twisting as disappointment settled in.

“I’m really sorry Josh, I know it’s super last minute and it totally sucks, but Abbs and I still want to celebrate your birthday with you,” Ashley began, “would you be cool if I took you and Abby out for dinner tonight before we leave?”

“Uh, yeah, that’d be great,” Josh answered, picking at the skin around his nails.

“You sure? You and Tyler aren’t doing anything tonight are you?” Ashley asked.

Josh nodded before he realized she couldn’t see him. “Yeah, I’m sure. Tyler’s sister is actually coming to visit him tonight so no, we’re not doing anything.”

“Great! How does six o’clock sound?” she asked, and Josh could hear the smile in her voice, subsequently making him smile as well.

“It’s sounds great, I’ll see you then.”

“See you then, talk to you later Josh.”

“Bye Ash,” Josh said before hitting the end button. He handed the phone back to Tyler who looked at him expectantly. “Ashley’s work needs her to go back to San Francisco, so she’s taking me and Abby out for dinner for like an early birthday celebration I guess.”

Tyler smiled, but looked at Josh with knitted eyebrows. “That sounds like fun babe,” Tyler commented, “what’s with the long face then?”

Josh shrugged and continued to pick at his nails that were struggling to grow back. “I dunno, it just sucks I guess, having to say goodbye to both of them - one of them I barely even got to say hello to in the first place.”

Tyler’s smile became softer, but Josh noticed he still had a sad look in his eyes - almost guilty. “It’ll be okay Josh, you’ll still get to see them. I’ll take you to San Francisco whenever you want,” Tyler told him, making Josh smile.

“Thanks Ty,” Josh said, leaning over and pecking him on the cheek. “Well, I’m gonna go take a shower, but I’ll keep the door unlocked just in case Brendon has to throw up all the pancakes he consumed.”

Brendon winked and gave him a weak finger gun as Josh grabbed his crutches and hobbled over to the bathroom. “Don’t forget to wrap the brace up! You don’t want it to get wet!” Tyler called out to Josh, to which Josh replied with a thumbs up.

Brendon groaned as he flopped onto the chair Josh had previously been sitting in, wrapping his arms protectively around his stomach. “I think I may die.”

“We’re all gonna die,” Tyler deadpanned.

Brendon rolled his eyes. “Shut the fuck up you emo piece of shit,” he said, grinning from ear-to-ear. “Anyway Tyjo, there’s something Beebo’s gotta tell ya.”

Tyler raised his eyebrows as he leaned into his chair. “Is this something good or bad?”

“Good, very good,” Brendon grinned, “I have finally found a place and will be getting out of yours and Josh’s hair very soon.”

  
“Oh that’s great!” Tyler exclaimed, “where you staying at?”

Brendon’s cheeks became rosy. “I’m actually gonna stay at Dallon’s place - he, uh, asked me to move in with him.”

Tyler blinked in surprise. “Wow, really? So soon?”

“It was his idea. He figured since I’m already spending a majority my nights there anyway and the fact I need a place to live, he thinks there can’t be any harm in me officially moving in,” Brendon explained, nervously twirling a strand of hair between his fingers.

“And how do you feel about it?” Tyler asked.

“Well, obviously I’m excited for it, but I’m so fucking scared - like what if I fuck it up and this ends badly again?” Brendon began questioning, running his hand over his face. “And oh gosh - his daughter, Amelie - she means so much to me. I don’t want to break her heart too if I do something stupid.”

Tyler’s eyebrows furrowed together as he stared at his rambling friend. “Why do you assume you’ll mess things up?”

Brendon sighed. “Cause that’s what I do, right? Every time I have something good, it’s me who has to go and fuck it up. Sarah was amazing - she was everything any guy would’ve ever wanted and I cheated on her. Ryan was incredible and I still managed to fuck it up with him too. And every other relationship beforehand? I was the reason they ended - I inevitably find a way to mess good things up.”

Tyler smiled sadly and shook his head. “Maybe that’s why you fuck it up - cause you think you will. If you tell yourself you’re going to do something, you’re going to end up doing it. You can’t let yourself think like that, Bren. You and Dallon are amazing together, don’t overthink it, okay?”

“Have I ever told you you’re the greatest best friend ever?” Brendon asked, the corner of his lips quirking into a small smile.

“Actually, last I recall, you said I’m a terrible friend,” Tyler pointed out, smirking.

Brendon immediately hushed him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, to which Tyler rolled his eyes. “Anywho - since Maddy is coming over, I’m gonna guess you’ll want me out of your hair tonight?”

“Well as much as I just adore your obnoxious charm - I think that would be for the best,” Tyler replied, smiling cheekily.

“Fine by me - Amelie is spending the weekend with her mom so that means me and Dallon have the house all to ourselves so we c-”

“Lalala! I can’t hear you!” Tyler shouted, covering his hands over his ears, making Brendon howl with laughter.

After a few minutes, Josh emerged back into the room on his crutches, wearing only his boxers. His skin was still shimmering with water and his hair was a lot curlier than usual. Tyler tried not to look at the giant scar on his torso from the accident, and the many other scratches that covered his body.

“Hey Ty, do you have like nice clothes I can borrow? I only have t-shirts and like one pair of ripped jeans,” Josh said, a small chuckle lacing with his words.

Tyler smiled. “Of course. Here, lemme help you out.”

  
Tyler stood from the table and guided Josh over to his bedroom. Opening his closet, he dug through his shirts, searching for something that would fit Josh and pulled out some black button up. He also grabbed some skinny jeans that would hopefully fit Josh as well. He handed the clothes and helped Josh keep his leg straight whilst putting on the pants. Of course it didn’t help when Josh jerked his leg when Tyler tried to touch it.

“Sorry babe, I should’ve asked,” Tyler said, quickly making sure he didn’t hurt his knee any worse from the sudden movement.

“No, no, it’s fine. I’m the one being ridiculous - I should be over it by now anyway,” Josh muttered, buttoning up the jeans and strapping the brace back onto his knee.

“Don’t say that,” Tyler immediately told him as Josh began buttoning up the shirt. “Babe, someone hurt you okay? Someone violated your body and did one of the worst things a human being could do to another human being. Absolutely no one expects you to be over it. You’re not ridiculous babe, you’re so brave. You went through so much babe, and you’re still here. That’s so amazing babe - I’m so proud of you.”

Josh began chewing on his nails once he finished putting on the shirt, blinking away tears that were beginning to form in his dark eyes. “Thank you,” he said, his voice barely audible.

Tyler smiled and used his thumb to wipe the tears away from Josh’s cheek, pressing a quick soft kiss where the tear stained his skin.

 

When six o’clock rolled around, Tyler found himself alone in his apartment waiting for Maddy. Ashley had already picked up Josh and Brendon left for Dallon’s hours ago. Luckily for Tyler, Maddy offered to pick them up takeout, which meant he didn’t have to worry about making anything.

At around six thirty, Tyler unlocked his front door when Maddie sent him a text telling him she was there. After a moment, the door handle clicked as Maddy entered the apartment, a bag of Chinese food in one hand and a gift wrapped in another.

Tyler hopped off the couch and walked over to Maddy, taking the bag out of her hand and setting it on the table. She set the gift down next to it and then threw her arms around Tyler’s neck, standing on her tippy-toes to reach his height.

“You’ve gotten taller,” Maddy noted when they pulled away from the hug.

“Or maybe you’ve just gotten shorter,” Tyler teased, earning him a punch in the arm.

“Keep up with the jokes and you won’t get to keep your present,” Maddy told him, smirking, looking quite pleased with herself.

“Oh yeah, I was gonna ask - what’s with the present?” Tyler questioned, picking up the large, but relatively flat gift.

Maddy shrugged. “Just because - go ahead, open it.”

Tyler obeyed and gingerly peeled back the plain wrapping paper, revealing a black vinyl cover that was decorated with many different designs.

“Oh it’s the new Bon Iver album!” Tyler exclaimed, tearing off the rest of the paper and staring at it with wide, childlike eyes. “Thanks Mads, I love it.”

Tyler quickly set the vinyl onto one of the bookshelves and then came back to where Maddy was standing. “I got you what you used to get back home, so sorry if your taste has changed,” she told him, pulling the white paper containers out of the bag and setting them onto the table.

“Nah, this is perfect, thank you,” he said, sitting down at the table and grabbing his food. “So how’s work going? Why did they bring you up here for California?”

“It’s going pretty good, they sent me up here as a representative to discuss a contract with another company,” Maddy said, plainly, sounding bored. “What about you? Aren’t you graduating from the residency program soon?”

Tyler nodded as he slurped his chow mein. “Yeah, I just have to take my last exam and then I’m done.”

“So what’s your plan for afterwards? Are you going to keep working at St. Ruby’s or do something else?” Maddy asked, pushing her rice around with her fork.

“Well, actually, my boss had me apply for this fellowship grant at another hospital,” Tyler began, biting down his lip. “And, uh, the hospital ended up choosing me.”

“That’s so great Tyler!” Maddy exclaimed, grinning widely. However, her smile deflated when she noticed the look on Tyler’s face. “What’s wrong Tyler? Isn’t that a good thing?”

Tyler hesitated. “Of course it’s good thing - it’s amazing, really. It’s just… the hospital is all the way in Seattle.”

Maddy's eyes widened and she leaned back in her chair. “Oh, wow, that’s… far,” she said, unsure of what to say.

“Yeah, and of course I wouldn’t mind moving - it’s an incredible opportunity - but I don’t want to be that far from Josh and I don’t think I could ask him to come with me, that’s just too much to ask for,” Tyler rambled.

Maddy shrugged. “You’ll never know if you never try, Ty,” she pointed out, “if he cares for you as much as you care for him, I think you’ll be surprised what he’ll say.”

 

  
As much as Josh wanted to be grateful for the nice dinner Ashley took them to, he always had a deep hatred for fancy restaurants. It was always lit weirdly, the room was too quiet, the staff was typically rude and snobby, and it was ridiculously expensive. Josh would have rathered just gotten pizza or taco bell again.

Josh had no idea what Ashley’s job was, but apparently it paid a shit ton.

“Are you as uncomfortable as I am?” Abby asked, keeping her voice low as they waited in the entry of the restaurant. Josh nodded frantically as he tried to position his arms comfortably on his crutches. “I think she’s still trying to buy your approval.”

Josh rolled his eyes, “She doesn’t need my approval, she’s my sister.” No matter how pissed Josh tried to remain with her, the statement was still true. Ashley didn’t need to buy something she already had.

Eventually a waiter with a high nose came and directed them to a table under the most useless lightbulb Josh had ever seen. For a place that demanded fifty bucks a meal, they were pretty shit at paying their electricity bill.

“Are you excited to go to San Francisco, Abbs?” Josh asked once they got settled down into their seats, setting his crutches against a nearby wall He watched as Ashley took the cloth napkin in front of her and placed it her lap, Josh copying her actions.

Abby nodded as she grinned brightly. “Yes! Ash was telling me about this one district where all the houses and apartments are completely covered in murals - I can’t wait to see it.”

Josh smiled softly as he listened to Abby gush about all the things Ashley told her. His chest ached as he realized how happy Abby seemed, finally able to move on from all the shit that’s happened in their life.

Unlike him.

“Are you interested in doing art, Abby?” Ashley asked, gazing up from the menu in her hand.

“Definitely,” Abby answered, smiling brightly.

“San Francisco has this really great art school if you’re interested,” Ashley told her, smiling as the younger one nodded and begged her to tell her more.

Listening to his two sisters talk about San Francisco, Josh’s head began to grow foggy as he spaced out. His skin crawled uncomfortably and he sipped on the water the restaurant had set out, not really feeling it when the cool liquid hit his lips.

“You okay Josh?” Josh heard Abby ask, her voice gentle. Josh nodded wordlessly, giving her an assuring smile to ease her worry.

The waiter returned and asked for their orders, Josh simply getting whatever Abby got. Once the waiter left, Ashley and Abby went back to talking about their plans for San Francisco and Josh sat back and watched.

The evening passed in slow motion. Conversation flowed over the three once their food came out, Josh only piping in when he was directly spoken to. Before Josh knew it, Ashley was sending the check back and the three of them were leaving.

Guilt settled deep into Josh’s bones when they climbed back into Ashley’s car. His sister had taken the liberty to try and treat Josh to a nice dinner and he wasn’t even there to enjoy it. When they came to Tyler’s apartment building, all three of them got out of the car to give their last goodbyes.

“There’s something I want to give you,” Josh told Abby, digging into the pocket of the jacket Tyler let him borrow. Despite being the beginning of June, it was fucking freezing outside.

Abby gasped quietly as Josh pulled out the cracked album, the green label on top projecting the words ‘Pet Sounds.’ “I couldn’t let you leave without you taking this with you,” he said, smiling lightly as Abby took the album into his hand.

Abby immediately threw her arms around Josh, holding him tightly as Josh tried to wrap his arms around with the crutches. Josh’s fingers made a fist around the fabric of Abby’s shirt, clinging onto it desperately.

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” Josh said, his words muffled by her hair.

A small cry escaped Abby’s lips as she deepened the hug. “I’ll miss you too,” she said, wiping her eyes when they pulled away reluctantly. “I love you, Joshie, make sure you take care of yourself - please.”

Josh gave a watery chuckle. “I love you too.”

Looking over to Ashley, Abby stepped to the side as Ashley wrapped her arms around Josh’s shoulders. Josh tucked his arms under hers and pulled her close.

“Please take care of her, and don’t you dare walk out on her again,” Josh said, forcefully and quietly so that Abby wouldn’t hear. The image of Ashley walking out the door was still fresh in Josh’s mind, as if it had happened merely days ago.

“I promise I will - I will make it up to both of you, I love you both so much,” Ashley whispered back, her voice broken with a silent sob.

Josh sighed. “I love you too, Ash,” he told her before pulling away.

The two finally got back in the car, Josh and Abby waving to each sadly as they drove away. Once they were out of sight, Josh hobbled over to the elevators and travelled up to his and Tyler’s apartment. He took out the key Tyler gave him a couple days ago and shoved it into the lock. When it clicked, Josh stumbled in and lazily threw his crutches against the wall.

A vinyl Josh had never heard was playing on his player, the sound encapturing the room. All the lights had been turned off, the only thing illuminating the room being a couple candles Tyler lit on the table. Tyler sat at the couch, lazily strumming his ukulele that sat in his lap

Luckily Tyler’s sister had already left, which meant Josh had him all to himself. Josh limped over to the sofa and threw himself down next to Tyler. Tyler looked up at Josh and set his ukulele to the side.

“Hey Josh, how’d it go?” Tyler asked, the fire from the candle brightening his warm eyes. His face contorted into an expression of concern when Josh said nothing. “You okay babe?”

And like that, the dam broke and Josh could no longer hold back the sobs he had been keeping in. Tyler was instantly by Josh’s side, embracing his shaking shoulders into his arms.

“What's wrong baby?” Tyler asked, tracing soothing circles in Josh’s back as the boy sobbed.

“S-she doesn't need me anymore,” Josh cried, pathetically. “Abby doesn't need me anymore. She's leaving with Ashley - Ashley who she can just somehow forgive and I don't understand how. I still look at her and see everything she's done wrong and Abby just doesn't. I don't know how I'm supposed to let her go with her.”

Tyler hushed him gently and rubbed his back. “Well you know the saying, if you love something, let it go, yeah? You gotta let her go, babe. You've taken such amazing care of her and now it's time to let her take care of herself.”

“I'm sorry I'm acting like such a fucking child - tonight was just so awful,” Josh began to ramble, his voice breaking. “The whole time we were out, it felt like I wasn't there and I thought I wouldn't feel like that after he was gone, but I still do and I hate it - I hate it so much Ty, I just want it to end.”

Tyler pulled Josh closer to him and pressed a kiss into his hair. “I know baby, I know it sucks, but we’re gonna get through it, okay? One day it's gonna be okay, I know it feels like it won't be - but I know it will be.”

“How can you know?” Josh asked, his sobs turning into hiccups.

“Because I've been there, Josh. I've been stuck in a dark hole that seemed like I could never get out of and now I have. So please believe me when I say it’ll be okay,” Tyler said, intertwining his fingers with Josh’s.

After a few moments, Josh’s cries finally died down and he was able to relax into Tyler’s arm. And laying there in Tyler’s embrace, Josh could believe him. Maybe everything might be okay.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little sadder than the last few updates , but I promise the last chapters will be full of fluff!  
> Hope you liked it! Be sure to let me know what you think! x


	33. Chapter 33

Two months later

  
Josh loved his and Tyler’s apartment. He loved all the fairy lights and candles that danced all around the apartment. He loved how nice the blanket Abby got him for his birthday looked on their sofa. He loved how their apartment was always warm and cozy.

He also loved that it was their apartment.

“So how’s San Francisco treating you?” Josh asked, tucking the phone between his ear and shoulder as he cleaned the dishes that sat in the sink.

Josh listened as Abby sighed dreamily. “It's absolutely amazing - oh my gosh it was so cool, the other night this dude outside the apartment was totally high and he just started stripping off his clothes and screaming about aliens.”

“Oh, uh, wow - super cool,” Josh coughed, chuckling at how excited Abby sounded. “How’s school going?”

“Meh, okay I guess. It's definitely a lot, but luckily it's online so I don't have to worry about dealing with other people,” Abby said, making a gagging noise. “How about you? Find a new job yet?”

“Nah, I’m still just working at the gas station,” Josh answered, placing his phone into his hand and limping over to the couch. “Ty keeps telling me not to worry about helping with rent, but I dunno, I still feel bad about it.”

“Just don't worry about it, okay?” she said, as if saying that would make him stop. “Where is Tyler anyway?”

“Oh he's at the hospital, he had to go there today to get his exam results,” Josh explained, playing with a loose thread on his jeans. “He should be home soon, I think.”

Abby hummed. “How it's been going with you guys?”

“It's been good, I think, I dunno - Ty has been acting weird I guess,” Josh replied, biting down on his nails.

“Weird how?” Abby asked, concern lacing her words.

Josh hesitated. “I'm not really sure. He just kinda avoids conversation with me I guess. He doesn't like talking about work or school anymore - like every time I bring it up, he dodges it,” he answered, ripping off the nail of his thumb. “I dunno, maybe I'm just paranoid.”

“I wish I could tell you something to make you feel better, but I honestly don't know. Just trying talking to him, Tyler seems like he'd be a pretty shit liar anyway,” Abby said, making Josh laugh through his nose.

“Okay, I'll talk to him tonight or whatever,” Josh sighed, tightening the straps on his brace.

“Cool - well Ashley keeps yelling at me to get back to studying so I'll talk to you later, okay?” Abby told him, the rustling of papers and books heard in the background.

“M’kay, love ya Abbs.”

“Love you too, bye,” she said before all Josh heard was white noise from the phone’s speaker.

Josh sighed as he laid down on the sofa, boredom quickly settled in. Even though his knee had healed enough that he didn't need those damn crutches anymore, he still needed the brace and the pain in his knee was too annoying to walk around with.

So Josh picked up one of Tyler’s textbooks that was lying on the coffee table and lazily began flipping through it. He was in the middle of reading about heart valve replacements when Tyler finally walked through the apartment.

He opened the door rather loudly, startling Josh and making him jerk his leg rather painfully. He wore a shit eating grin on his face, making Josh subsequently smile.

“Why are you all smiley?” Josh asked, setting the textbook back down onto the table.

“I passed my exams, so I am now a licensed nurse,” Tyler replied, walking over to Josh with a swing to his step. “Which means we have to go out to celebrate.”

Josh raised an eyebrow. “Does it now?” he asked, smiling fondly.

Tyler nodded and hummed. “Yeah, if you don't mind,” Tyler said, walking to the back of the couch and wrapping his arms around Josh’s shoulders from behind.

Josh leaned into his touch. “I'm cool with going out - where did you have in mind?” Josh asked, running his fingertips over Tyler’s arms.

“There's that pizza place by the hospital that we went to for your birthday,” Tyler replied, his fingers intertwining with Josh’s. “Wanna go there?”

“Yeah sure, lemme just get some shoes and a jacket,” Josh said, patting Tyler’s arms off of his chest. Limping over to their bedroom, he heard Tyler click his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

“If you want your knee to get better, you have to stop limping or you’ll be stuck with that brace for longer than a month,” Tyler told him, pointedly, as Josh grabbed some banged up sneakers. As he tied up the laces, Tyler grabbed Josh’s camo jacket that Tyler had found at a thrift shop for him.

Tyler tossed him the jacket and Josh shrugged it on as he stood back up. Tyler took a hold of his hand and the two walked out of the apartment together. Tyler forced them to use the stairs, saying shit like “it would be good for your knee” or “it’ll never get better if you never use it.”

Sometimes dating a nurse was fucking annoying.

Once they made it to the ground, Josh handed Tyler the keys to the car. Luckily, Tyler had gotten the windshield replaced and the front - somewhat - fixed for Josh. Even though he was grateful, Josh couldn’t help but feel guilty anytime Tyler spent money on him. He really didn’t deserve it.

Tyler opened up the passenger door for Josh and helped him get into the seat without irritating his knee. Once Josh was situated, Tyler walked over to the driver side and hopped in. Turning on the car, he pulled from the pavement and drove away from the building.

“So babe, what's the plan now that you've got your nursing license? You just gonna keep working with Dallon?” Josh asked, looking over at Tyler who kept his eyes firmly on the road in front of him.

“Uh, I'm not really sure - it doesn't really matter right now so yeah,” Tyler quickly said, licking his lips before curling them under his teeth.

Josh sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Is there something wrong Ty?” he asked, nervously chewing on the inside of his cheek. “You keep avoiding the topic of work, is there something you wanna talk about?”

Tyler blew out a heavy breath. “A couple months ago, Dallon had me apply for a fellowship grant at this amazing hospital - and they chose me for it,” he explained, all the words rushing out in one breath.

“Tyler, that's incredible! Why didn't you tell me? Aren't you going to accept it?” Josh asked, furrowing his eyebrows together.

“The hospital is in Seattle, babe,” Tyler replied, pulling into the parking lot of the pizza place and stopping the car. “I could never ask you to move so far, so I figured I just wouldn't accept it and I'd find something else.”

“You should've asked me, Ty,” Josh told him, softly.

Tyler raised his eyebrows. “Are you saying you're willing to move all the way to Washington just for me?”

Josh hesitated. “I'm saying I'll think about it, but you should've told me.”

Tyler sighed, but smiled nonetheless. “I know, I was just too busy overthinking it all,” he said, turning off the car and hopping out. He walked around the car and helped Josh out the passenger seat.

Hand and hand, they entered the pizza parlor and Josh grabbed a table whilst Tyler ordered their pizza. Tyler came back shortly, two sodas in his hand, and sat across from Josh.

“Thank you,” Josh said, taking his drink gratefully. “So what makes this hospital in Seattle so great?” Josh asked, genuinely curious.

“It's just so advance unlike every other hospital I looked at. Their research is incredible and their technology is so surreal,” Tyler explained, his eyes wide like a child. Josh smiled fondly as he listened to Tyler babble about things he didn't quite understand.

“Wow, it sounds like you really want this,” Josh commented, chuckling nervously.

Tyler sighed. “Yeah, of course I do - but you're more important. It's whatever you decide, okay?”

Josh nodded, guilt pooling uncomfortably in his stomach. He didn't want to be the person to take such an amazing opportunity away from Tyler, but he wasn't sure if he was ready for such a big step.

Eventually a server brought their pizza to the table - half Hawaiian and half pepperoni.

“I still can't believe I'm dating a man who puts pineapple on his pizza,” Josh said, grabbing himself a slice of pepperoni.

Tyler rolled his eyes as he shoved his own slice into his mouth. “Oh hush, it's delicious and you're just stuck in the past of boring, old pepperoni and cheese - pineapple is the future.”

Conversation flowed between the two easily, bringing up any and all subject topic they could before bouncing to the next within minutes. Josh would've said things were going well until Tyler's expression changed into one of a deer in headlights.

“What's wrong?” Josh asked, scrunching his eyebrows together. “What are you looking at-”

“No, no, don't turn around Josh,” Tyler told him quickly, jerking Josh’s arm and having Josh look at him. “I need you to keep your eyes on me, okay?”

Josh swallowed thickly. “What's going on Ty? You're scaring me.”

Tyler bit down on his lip. “There's another thing I needed to tell you,” Tyler began, “remember when the police told you there was a chance Justin would be released earlier than his original sentence?”

Josh felt the blood in his veins go cold. “I remember.”

Tyler’s expression fell as he sighed. “Babe, they let him out last week - I'm so sorry.”

Josh blinked slowly as his skin began to crawl with fingertips. They eventually reach Josh’s threat and tighten their grip. “Is h-he here? Is that why won't let m-me turn around?”

Tyler nodded silently. “I wanna go home,” Josh said, emotionless. “I want to leave - now, please.”

Tyler quickly scrambled to his feet and took Josh into his arms, keeping his head low as they exited the restaurant. Josh stared at the ground the entire time, terrified of seeing blue.

They made it to the car and Josh practically threw himself in. Tyler hopped into the driver’s seat and immediately locked the doors.

Josh stared out the front window as Tyler stared at, shivering as he suddenly felt cold. He tried to take in s breath, but air never came.

“Josh? Baby? You okay?” Tyler asked, leaning over the center console. “Tell me what's happening - let me help you.”

“I c-can't breathe,” Josh gasped, digging his nails into his thighs. “P-panic attack.”

“Okay baby, okay - is it okay if I touch you?” Tyler asked, to which Josh shook his head frantically. “Alright, that's fine. Can you clench your fists for me babe?”

Josh nodded and curled his fingers into a fist. “Good, good, now just hold it for ten seconds, okay? I'll count and you try counting down with me when you can.”

Josh focused his attention on keeping his fists closed and on Tyler’s gentle voice, slowly steadying his breath and being able to countdown with Tyler. The attack soon seized and Josh was left with the migraine his anxiety always left him.

“Better?” Tyler asked, his fingers hovering over Josh’s hand. Josh nodded and grasped Tyler’s fingers.

“I c-can't believe they can just release a m-monster like that,” Josh stuttered out, the panic soon being replaced with anger. “It's not f-fair he got to ruin my life and he just gets to l-live his.”

Tyler sighed and rubbed his thumb across Josh’s hand. “No babe, it's not fair at all. It fucking sucks and I'm so sorry.”

Josh sniffed and wiped his sleeve across his face. “I c-can't do this, Ty - knowing he's still out there. It terrifies me.”

Tyler looked at him with a gentle expression. “Then what do you want to do babe? What can I do to make it better?”

“I wanna move to Seattle with you.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh only one more chapter and the epilogue left yIKES  
> thank you all for your support, your comments and kudos have been meaning so much to me xx


	34. Chapter 34

It was warm September morning when a small moving truck was parked in front of their apartment building.  Dallon and Brendon had come over that to help, carrying all the heavy furniture down the set of stairs, making them all very grateful Tyler and Josh only lived on the second story.  Tyler and Josh stayed in the apartment, busying themselves by packing boxes with the smaller things. 

 

Josh had taken to filling boxes with Tyler’s books, movies, and vinyls while Tyler took to packing all their clothes.  Brendon and Dallon struggled as they tried to carry out Tyler’s piano.

 

“A person really shouldn’t be allowed to own so many books, Ty,” Josh said as he filled a third box with books.  He grabbed the packing tape and wrapped the box up before writing ‘BOOKS’ on the front of the box.

 

“I think what you mean to say is that I need to own more books,” Tyler replied, walking into the room with a large trash bag full of the contents of their closet and drawers.  He brought the bag over to the front door and set it down.  

 

“You have a problem,” Josh shook his head, grabbing a handful of movie cases and setting them into a box.  Tyler simply shrugged before walking back into their bedroom to pack up the rest of that room’s contents.

 

After an hour of filling boxes with books, movies, and vinyls, Brendon and Dallon were finally able to take down the bookcases.  Without all of their furniture and decorations, the apartment somehow felt smaller.  

 

Once everything was packed into boxes and bags, everyone got to work on bringing it all down to the moving truck and Josh’s car.  Even though Josh’s knee had fully recovered and he no longer had a brace, it left him with a limp that was not fun to deal with when going up and down stairs. 

 

Josh collapsed on his back when they finished filling both vehicles with everything, sprawling out starfish style onto the sidewalk.  

 

“I fucking hate packing,” Josh announced, a little breathless, 

 

Brendon rolled his eyes dramatically.  “I don’t know why you’re complaining - you didn’t have to carry all that furniture down the stairs cause the elevator is too damn small.” 

 

Josh narrowed his eyes.  “You spend three hours of your life packing books and movies and see how exhausting it is.”  Brendon just rolled his eyes again. 

 

“We should probably get going soon or we’ll get caught on up in bad traffic,” Tyler said, leaning against the hood of Josh’s car.  “The drive from California to Washington is already long as it is.” 

 

“I don’t see why you guys didn’t just decide to fly there,” Dallon commented, wrapping an arm around Brendon and resting his head against Brendon’s.  

 

Tyler shrugged.  “Roadtrips are fun and I’m terrified of planes so yeah.” 

 

Brendon raised an eyebrow at Tyler.  “Didn’t you want to be a pilot when you were like eleven?”

 

“Well we saw how well that turned out,” Tyler retorted, making Josh snort.  “Anyways, let’s get the tearful goodbyes out of the way so we can go.” 

 

Brendon scoffed and clutched his heart.  “Gee Tyler, why are you so eager to leave me?” he asked, leaving Dallon’s embrace to walk over to Tyler. 

 

“Well, when someone bums on your couch and eats all your food for six months, you tend to grow a little spiteful,” Tyler told him with a giant grin.  

 

Brendon shared the same grin as he captured Tyler into a tight hug, dipping his head into Tyler’s neck as he gripped his shirt.  The hug was beautiful and meaningful until Brendon whispered something into Tyler’s ear, prompting Tyler to immediately push him away.

 

“You’re a disgusting man, Brendon Urie,” Tyler shook his head as Brendon cackled loudly.  Tyler glared at him forcefully as he pointed a finger at Dallon.  “You too, Weekes.” 

 

Dallon stared between Brendon and Tyler, looking completely lost.  “What the hell did I do?” he asked, but Tyler merely shook his head in disgust before turning back to Brendon.

 

“You’re the absolute worst, you know that?” Tyler said, folding his arms over his chest. 

 

Brendon just continued to grin.  “Awe, you know you’re gonna miss me.”

 

Tyler’s expression softened.  “Oh hush - just don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone, okay?”

 

“I give you my word I won’t do anything stupid,” Brendon vowed, giving Tyler a firm salute. 

 

Tyler turned to Dallon.  “Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid, please,” he said, making Brendon scoff in offense. 

 

Dallon laughed and nodded.  “I’ll take good care of him, I promise.” 

 

Tyler moved over to Dallon and the two began giving their goodbyes.  As they talked, Brendon walked over to Josh and pulled him to the side. 

 

“Well Josh Dun, you’ve been a great bartender and even greater friend.  I’m gonna miss you,” Brendon told him, offering a soft smile. 

 

“You’re just gonna miss the alcohol I served you,” Josh replied, the corner of lip quirking up into a cheeky smirk.

 

Brendon barked out a laugh.  “That may be true, but the sentiment is still there,” he argued, grinning widely.  Josh laughed under his breath as Brendon turned to look at Tyler, letting out a small sigh.  “Just - just take good care of Tyler, okay?  His heart is too big and he has a tendency to let it get trampled, so please, take good care of it.” 

 

Josh’s smile softened - he was glad Tyler had a friend like Brendon.  “Of course, I promise I’ll take care of Tyler.” 

 

“Oh- and remind him to take all his medication, he has a tendency to forget,” Brendon said, wringing his hands as he glanced over at Tyler again with concerned glazed eyes.  

 

“I will - don’t worry about him, okay?  He’s gonna be just fine,” Josh assured, to which Brendon nodded in reply.

 

Once all goodbyes were given and tears were shed - mostly from Brendon - Tyler and Josh finally hopped into the car.  Josh got into the passenger side after Tyler insisted on driving at least for the first part of it.  Putting on his seatbelt, he looked over to Tyler.

 

“Ready to go?” Tyler asked, driving away from the apartment building when Josh nodded. 

 

Josh stared out the window as he watched Dallon, Brendon, and the apartment slowly fade away from sight.  His chest tightened as he watched all the familiar buildings and landmarks pass him by in a blur, but it wasn’t a painful ache.  The ache grew stronger when they drove past the neighborhood Josh once called home.  He blinked away tears when he saw a familiar blue house at the beginning of the street, that big window illuminated from the light inside.

 

Tyler glanced at him as Josh sniffled quietly.  “You okay babe?” 

 

Josh nodded as he wiped his eyes.  “Yeah, I’m fine - it’s just weird, that’s all.”

 

“What’s weird?” Tyler asked, spinning the wheel as he drove into the highway that would take them away from the small city.  

 

“It’s just - the last time I left home, I remember being so terrified.  I was so scared because I didn’t what I was gonna do and what was gonna happen,” Josh began, his fingers finding their way to Tyler’s hand.  “But leaving this time, I’m not scared at all.  I still don’t know what I’m gonna do or what’s gonna happen, but I’m not scared.” 

 

Tyler smiled as he lifted his fingers to his lips, pressing a kiss into his knuckles.  “I love you, Josh Dun.” 

 

Josh’s heart thundered against his chest as butterflies exploded in his stomach.  Who knew just simple words would cause such a sensation inside of him.  

 

“I love you too, Tyler Joseph,” Josh replied, squeezing Tyler’s hand tightly. 

 

When they got off the highway and back onto the road paved with trees at either side, Josh couldn’t help but noticed the puzzled look in Tyler’s eyes as he made a second right turn.

 

“Hey babe,” Josh piped up, “are we lost?  Do you want me to pull up the directions?” 

 

Tyler scoffed as he made a third right turn.  “No, I do not need directions.  I know exactly where we’re going.” 

 

Josh curled his lips under his teeth as he raised his eyebrows.  “Alright then Ty, whatever you say,” Josh said, turning his attention back to the view outside the window. 

 

Leaning his head against the cool glass, his eyes fluttered shut and he slept soundly.  The first time he woke up, the car was jolted by a pothole in the road.  He immediately went back to sleep when Tyler started muttering about taxes and the government.  

 

The second and last time he woke up, the car wasn’t moving and they were parked on the side of the road.  Tyler was biting down on the tip of his thumb as he stared at his phone, his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. 

 

Tyler looked over at Josh at the sound of him waking up and offered a bashful smile.  “Hey Josh?” 

 

“Yes Tyler?”

 

“I think we’re lost.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short little fluffy last chapter before the epilogue. The epilogue probably won't be up for a bit because I have a lot planned for it and I want it to be perfect. So I hope this will be enough till then!  
> Hope you liked it! Be sure to let me know what you think! x


	35. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the end of in the morning.  
> I will save all sappy goodbyes for the end notes, for now, here's the long awaited epilogue x

_One Year Later_

 

The airplane window was cold against Josh’s forehead, his gaze downcasted to all the lights of San Francisco as they flew over the city.  They danced across the water on the bay, dazzling the sky above.  Josh wanted to move so he could get a better view, but with Tyler’s head resting upon his shoulder, his movement was very limited.

 

Turning his head slightly, Josh looked to Tyler’s resting face and smiled softly.  With pouted lips, little snores escaped and his hair was sprawled against his forehead.  He gently pressed his lips against Tyler’s temple, causing the boy to stir in his seat.

 

Tyler blinked blearily as he looked up at Josh, yawning widely.  “Sorry babe, didn’t mean to wake you,” Josh said, his voice low and quiet.  Many other passengers on the plane had fallen asleep and Josh didn’t want to wake them as well.

 

Tyler hummed and waved him off, slowly picking his head off of Josh’s shoulder and leaving it cold.  “S’fine - we there yet?” he asked, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles.

 

“Almost, I think.  Probably just a few more minutes till we get to the airport,” Josh answered, smoothing Tyler’s hair out of his face.

 

Tyler nodded and smacked his lips together, stretching out his limbs as much as the cramped seat allowed him to.  “Are you excited to see Abby and Ashley?” he asked, scratching the back of his neck as another yawn interrupted his words.

 

“Yeah, it just sucks we only get to see them for tonight before we have to head out tomorrow,” Josh replied, “why couldn’t Brendon just have his wedding in San Francisco?  It would have been more convenient.”

 

Tyler rolled his eyes and laughed lightly.  “I’m so sorry that my best friend getting married is such an inconvenience to you.”  

 

Josh opened his mouth to make a remark, but was interrupted by the pilot announcing they would be landing in several minutes.  He immediately grabbed Tyler’s hand as he watched the older boy’s face grow a little pale.  

 

“It’s okay Ty, we’ll be on the ground soon and then the flight we’ll be over,” Josh assured as Tyler squeezed his eyes shut.

 

As the plane touched the ground, Tyler winced and gripped Josh’s hand a little tighter as the plane jerked suddenly.  Once the plane began gliding smoothly on the ground, Tyler relaxed and let out strained breath.

 

“You know, we didn’t have to fly, we could’ve just driven here like the first time,” Josh pointed out, undoing his seatbelt when the plane flashed the lights that it was okay to do so.

 

“Oh absolutely not, we almost ended up in Las Vegas cause I got so lost,” Tyler stated, laughing as he recalled the memory

 

“Well if you had used a map like _I told you_ to, that wouldn’t have happened,” Josh remarked, to which Tyler pressed a finger against his lips and began to shush him.  Josh laughed and shook his head.  

 

Soon the plane came to a complete stop and they were given the greenlight to go.  Tyler and Josh quickly grabbed their things and exited the plane, their legs groaning from lack of use.  Walking through the gate, they were met with a couple of familiar faces.

 

“Josh!” Abby squealed, throwing her arms around Josh once the two came up to them.  The two laughed happily as Josh immediately wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him.  “I missed you so much.”

 

“I missed you too,” Josh replied, slowly pulling away from the hug to get a good look at his little sister.  She looked different than from the last time he had saw her.  She had dyed her hair ginger and blonde, gotten more piercings in her ears, and was wearing makeup.  

 

She also looked happier.

 

“You look so great, Abbs,” Josh swallowed, overwhelmed by how much older his baby sister looked.  It both broke and warmed his heart.

 

Abby grinned widely.  “Thanks Josh - so do you, I see you dyed your hair red again,” she noted, curling a strand of his bright hair with her finger.  “The purple is still my favorite you ever did, though.”

 

“Maybe next time,” Josh shrugged, before turning to Ashley who was standing patiently next to Abby.  “Hey Ash.”

 

“Hey Josh,” Ashley greeted, pulling Josh into a hug.  A small smile made its way onto Josh’s lips as he sunk into her warm embrace.  Things were still tight between the two, but not as suffocating as it used to be.  They released from the hug and Ashley gave him a warm smile as she pushed hair away from his eyes.  “We should probably get going, yeah?”

 

Josh nodded and the four of them left the airport, Josh keeping Tyler close to his side as they shoved through the overcrowded building.  They eventually made it out of the airport and began the walk towards the parking garage.  Reaching Ashley’s car, they quickly threw their stuff in the back and sat down.  With their legs still stiff and sore from the flight, the two were grateful to sit down in the comfortable car.

 

“So how was the flight?” Ashley asked as she climbed into the driver seat and turned on the ignition.  

 

“Well we didn’t die, so I would say pretty good,” Tyler answered, sliding into the center seat so that we would be sitting right next to Josh.  

 

Abby snorted.  “That’s definitely good.”

 

Since the drive from the airport to Ashley’s apartment was about an hour long, they filled it with plenty small talk.  Josh told Abby about his job at Guitar Center and how he started playing drums again.  He told him about their neighbor who owns five dogs that the landlord has no idea about.  Abby told him about how she finished her schooling and started applying for colleges.  She told him about how her boss at the store she works at looks just like Brendon.  

 

It made Josh’s chest tightened with an ache as he listened to Abby speak.  He would never guessed that either one them would be where they were a year ago.

 

Soon enough they reached Ashley’s apartment building and she parked the car next to the sidewalk.  Climbing out of the car, Tyler and Josh grabbed their things out of the back of the car.  Walking inside and hopping onto an elevator, they travelled up to the apartment.

 

Once Ashley unlocked the door, Abby took them to her room where the two would be staying for the night whilst Abby just stayed on the couch.  Tyler and Josh immediately flopped down on her bed, to which she laughed loudly.

 

“I’m guessing you two are pretty tired, so I’ll just leave you to your own devices,” Abby said before exiting the room and closing the door behind her.

 

Tyler rolled next to Josh and tucked himself against his torso, humming happily.  “I can’t believe Brendon is getting married,” he commented, tucking his head into the crook of Josh’s neck.

 

Josh hummed.  “Me neither.”

 

“I haven’t written a best man speech yet,” Tyler admitted, curling his lips under his teeth.  “Do you think I can use the same one I used for his and Sarah’s wedding?”

 

Josh rolled his eyes.  “No, I don’t think you can use the same one,” Josh replied, “I’m sure you’ll think of something to say.”

 

Tyler groaned loudly.  “You’re no help at all.”

 

Josh sighed and stroked Tyler’s hair.  “How about you sleep on it, yeah?  Then when you wake up, you’ll have plenty of ideas to write about.”

 

“You’re just saying that so I’ll let you sleep,” Tyler said, narrowing his eyes at his boyfriend.  Josh smiled slyly as she shut his eyes, curling into a more comfortable position beside Tyler.

 

“That may be true, but I still mean it,” Josh retorted, “just go to sleep, babe.  You can worry about it when you see Brendon’s stupid face tomorrow.”

 

Tyler sighed, but acquiesced.  Along with Josh, his eyes fluttered shut and he wrapped his arms around Josh’s torso, pulling him close until oblivion took both of them.

  


Morning came too soon and wasn’t long before Josh had to give his sisters another hesitant goodbye.  They made promises of travelling to Seattle to see them when they weren’t busy and Josh already was longing for those moments.  

 

The sun had barely even crossed the horizon when Tyler called a taxi cab to take the two of them back to the town they once called home.  Josh’s stomach twisted itself into knots when tall buildings and city lights slowly transformed into large oak trees and dim neon signs on old stores.

 

Josh watched Tyler’s face soften with nostalgia as they passed the familiar hospital, Josh’s doing the same when they drove away from the gas station.  They soon drove passed the downtown area of the city and came to a residential area that wasn’t too familiar to the two.  

 

After Dallon and Brendon got engaged, the two quickly found a cozy little home off a street called Vices.  Brendon had called Tyler when they got it to tell him all about it, talking about the incredible large backyard that had a treehouse for Amelie to play in and a “motherfucking fireplace” - as Brendon had put it.

 

The taxi came to a halt when they reached a house with a blue painted door.  After paying and thanking the taxi driver, the two hopped out of the cab and head towards the house.  Tyler barely had a chance to knock on the door before a familiar head of floppy hair swung the door wide opened.

 

“You’re late,” Brendon stated, folding his arms over his chest and narrowing his eyes at the two - mostly Tyler though.  

 

“Sorry, there was bad traffic,” Tyler explained, holding his arms out for a hug from Brendon, but he just intensified the glare.  

 

“I’m getting married in five hours and the best excuse you could give me is bad traffic?  Fuck you, Tyler Joseph,” Brendon said, before his face split into a giant grin.  He dropped his arms away from his chest and enveloped Tyler into a hug.  

 

“I should really be blaming Josh, he was the one that wanted to stay the night in San Francisco to see his sisters instead of coming straight here,” Tyler said, patting Brendon on the back as they released the hug.  

 

Brendon clicked his tongue against the top of his mouth and shook his head.  “Well then, fuck you Josh Dun.”

 

Josh rolled his eyes and laughed.  “It’s good to see you too, Brendon.”

 

Brendon soon invited the two the come in and directed them to a guest bedroom.  They set the few bags they had down and began undressing out of their clothes when Brendon left the room.

 

“You think of speech yet?” Josh asked, buttoning up Tyler’s shirt as Tyler tied Josh’s tie.

 

Tyler shook his head.  “Nah, I think I’m just gonna wing it” Tyler answered, finicking with his hair as he stared at a mirror in the corner of the room.  

 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Josh winced, “Brendon may actually kill you if you ruin his day with a shitty speech.”

 

Tyler waved him off.  “Nah, it’ll be fine.”

 

Once they were all suited up, they left the room and looked around the house.  They eventually came across to Dallon and his daughter, Amelie.  As Tyler began catching up with his former boss, Josh kneeled down to Amelie’s level.

 

“Hi Amelie, I’m Josh.  We met a few months, ago - do you remember me?” Josh asked, resting his arms on his knees as he tilted his head at Amelie.  When Dallon and Brendon got engaged, Tyler and Josh had flown down here for their bachelor party.  While Tyler went out to the party to make sure neither Brendon nor Dallon did anything stupid, Josh stayed behind to watch Amelie.

 

Amelie nodded, her curled blonde hair flinging everywhere.  She wrung her tulle skirt between her hands, clutching the fabric tightly.  “That dress you’re wearing is so pretty, you look like a princess,” Josh told her, smiling when she blushed.

 

She giggled and looked down shyly.  “Thank you!  Honey got it for me after Daddy proposed to him,” she said, her brown eyes sparkling, the shade a true reflection of her dad.

 

Josh’s brows scrunched in together.  “Honey?  Are you talking about Brendon?”

 

“Daddy always calls him Honey, so that’s what I call him too,”Amelie explained, smiling softly.

 

Josh’s heart clenched sweetly because that’s just _too fucking cute_.  “Well, he has very good taste in dresses.  Are you the flower girl in the wedding?” he asked, noticing the pail of roses in her hand.

 

“Yup!  Honey told me I should throw some at you and Tyler,” Amelie giggled, grabbing a couple and tossing it at Josh’s face.

 

Josh smiled and shook his head.  “Well, that’s not very nice now is it?”

 

“No, but it’s funny!” she laughed, throwing her head back.

 

After a few hours of helping Brendon and Dallon get together a few more things, Josh headed to the backyard where the wedding was taking place.  The two had decided on a small wedding, only inviting close family and friends.  

 

Several dozen chairs were set up in front of the backyard treehouse, which had fairy lights wrapped around the trunk.  One of Dallon’s friends - who just remembered his name being Spencer - had agreed to ordain the wedding and was standing in front of the tree.  A vase of orange and yellow flowers stood at the end of each row of chairs, the dewey spring glass making the glass wet.

 

The seats were soon filled with Dallon’s family members and Brendon’s friends.  Since Brendon’s parents didn’t approve of the relationship, only a few of his siblings had come to the wedding.  One of sisters had actually taken to sitting next to Josh - who he was pretty sure was trying to flirt with him.

 

Luckily the orchestral music soon started and Dallon walked down the center of the chairs, Amelie holding his hand and throwing petals across the aisle.  When they passed where Josh sat, Amelie made sure to toss a handful in his face.

 

Once Dallon and Amelie made it to the treehouse, Dallon leaned down to Amelie’s level and she gave her a dad a big kiss on the cheek before standing off to the side.  Dallon gave a nervous smile to Spencer before turning to look down the aisle.

 

Brendon soon made his way down the aisle, his arms linked together with Tyler, who agreed to walk him down when he learned that Brendon’s father wouldn’t be coming to the wedding.  Josh watched as Dallon’s expression softened lovingly when he set his eyes on Brendon.

 

Tyler gave Brendon a tight hug when they reached the treehouse, then stepping off to the side of Brendon.  Brendon turned to face Dallon and the two shared hands, Dallon nodding to Spencer to begin.  

 

“Dallon and Brendon, today you are surrounded by your friends and family, all of whom have gathered here to witness your marriage and to share in the joy of this special occasion,” Spencer began, Josh zoning out as Spencer continued his whole welcoming fluff.

 

“Now both grooms have chosen to write their own vows, so Dallon, if you may,” Spencer said once he finished his whole bit.

 

Dallon smiled and looked to Brendon.  “It was an inexplicable force that brought us together - when I first saw you and saw how wonderful you were, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to always be your loving husband and to feel that kind of love every day of our lives,” he began, slowly choking on his words as tears welled in his eyes.  

 

“I will give you all I have - the stars and the moon and all my wishes, and as your husband, all I long for in return is the touch of your hands on mine as we sit and watch the sun gently set on the horizon, and whisper to each other, this is going to be the best day of our lives. Each and every night.”

 

“I believe in you, Brendon, and in everything you want to be. I believe in us - in our power as a couple, in our future as a family, I believe in myself, that within myself I am capable of loving you the way you deserve. I believe that you and I should spend all our days together, me as your husband, I believe in you as mine. I believe we were meant to be and I love you so much,” Dallon finished, tears streaming down both his and Brendon’s face.

 

Brendon wiped his eyes and pulled out a piece of paper when Spencer nodded to him.  “Dallon, when I first met you, I honestly never thought I’d be here now, giving you my heart and my soul,” Brendon began, his hands beginning to shake a little as he read off the piece of paper that was covered with messy handwriting.

 

“But then I got to know you and I found myself quickly falling in love with you like I never had before.  Dallon, you are so kind, smart, funny, and just an overwhelming wonderful person and I can’t believe I even managed to find someone like you.”

 

“I fell in love with every part of you.  I fell in love with your quiet laughs, your sweet smile, your intelligent mind, how beautiful you look when you cry, and I fell in love with how amazing of a father you are to your amazing little girl, whom I have grown to love as well,” Brendon said, looking over to Amelie and taking a hold of her hand, quickly kneeling to her level.

 

“Amelie, I want you to know that I dearly love your father.   As you have so graciously shared this wonderful man with me, so will I share the love I feel for him with both of you.”  

 

“I promise also to be fair and to be honest, to be available for you as I am for your dad.  I will not attempt to replace anyone, but to make a place in your hearts that is for me alone. I will be father and friend, and I will cherish my life with both of you. On this day when I marry your dad, I marry you, and I promise to love and support you as my own,” Brendon finished telling her, standing back up to Dallon’s level after Amelie gave him a big hug.  Dallon was covering his mouth with his hand as quiet, happy cries shook his shoulders.

 

Dallon removed his hand from his mouth and placed it on his chest.  “Thank you,” he told him, his vow barely audible.

 

Brendon nodded and smiled.  “Dallon,  I promise to love and care for you, and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love.  I will always be honest with you, kind, patient and forgiving.

But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you.  I love you.”

 

Spencer nodded.  “Now for the exchanging of rings.”

 

Both Tyler and Amelie pulled out a ring and handed it to their respective groom.  Dallon took Brendon’s hand and slid the silver band on his left finger.  “I give you this ring as a visible and constant symbol of my promise to be with you, for as long as I live.”  Brendon then grabbed Dallon’s hand and placed the ring on his finger, echoing Dallon’s words.

 

“Dallon and Brendon, we have heard your promise to share your lives in marriage. We recognize and respect the covenant you have made here this day before each one of us as witnesses,” Spencer began, “Therefore in the honesty and sincerity of what you have said and done here today and by the power vested in me by the State of California, it is my honour and delight to declare you married and partners in life, .for life.  You may seal your vows with a kiss.”

 

Dallon cupped Brendon’s cheek in his hand and the two shared a kiss in front of everyone.  Amelie began clapping wildly, the rest of the witnesses soon joining in.  After they parted from their kiss, everyone headed over to a large table they had sat up.  Since there weren’t many guests, everyone was able to fit at the one table.

 

Tyler sat down next to Brendon and Josh sat down next to Tyler.  Josh noticed a few tear stains on Tyler’s cheeks and laughed under his breath.

 

“Awe babe, were you crying?” he teased, poking Tyler’s side.

 

Tyler gave a watery chuckle and gently shoved Josh’s hands off his side.  “I’m just so glad he’s happy now, like - he wasn’t like this with Sarah and especially not with Ryan.  Seeing him with someone who has changed him for the better is just - it just makes me happy.”

 

Josh smiled and grasped Tyler’s hand.  “Yeah, there’s definitely a contrast between Brendon now and the Brendon I met all that time ago.”

 

Tyler nodded and wiped his eyes.  “Yeah - plus, I just always cry at weddings.”

 

Josh raised his eyebrows.  “Really?”

“Yeah, I guess I’m just a sap at heart,” Tyler said before pausing for a moment.  “What’s your opinion of marriage and weddings?”

 

“Uh, I definitely don’t have a problem with them,” Josh answered, “I mean, it’s always something I imagined having.”

 

Tyler looked at him with those warm eyes and tilted his head to the side.  “Would you marry me?”

 

Josh blinked, taken aback by the sudden question.  “Are you proposing to me right now?  Like literally proposing to me?  At your best friend’s wedding?”

 

“Yes, yes I am,” Tyler nodded, a dreamy look softening his expression.  “Josh Dun, I love you so much and I want nothing more than to stand up in front of everyone I know and love give you my heart fully and proudly.  Will you marry me?”

 

Josh’s heart thundered against his chest and he inhaled a shaky breath.  “Yes, I would love to marry you, Tyler Joseph,” he replied, a giggle escaping his lips.  He leaned forward and pressed their lips together, his stomach doing a thousand backflips.

 

The two became completely wrapped up in each other as everyone else focused on the newlyweds.  Part of Josh felt guilty for doing so, but it was Tyler’s fault for proposing to him.  Soon enough, their moment fleeted and it was time for Tyler give his speech.

 

Tyler stood to his feet and tapped his utensil against the glass, stopping when he received everyone’s attention.  “Ladies and gentlemen, if there's anybody here this afternoon who's feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it's probably because you have just married Brendon Urie.”  Both Dallon and the rest of the company began laughing as Brendon sat there and shook his head, trying to hide a smile.

 

“To those of you who don’t know me yet. My name is Tyler and I would like to thank Brendon for finally confirming that I am actually the _best_ man,” Tyler continued, making Brendon laugh that time.  “I’ve actually looked forward to this moment for a long time. It will be the first time I’ve been able to speak for five minutes in Brendon's presence without being interrupted!”

 

“Now it’s not that I’m saying that Brendon is loud but he does seem to break a fundamental law of physics that light travels faster than sound because with Brendon, you very definitely hear him before you see him.”

 

“Anyway, I didn’t stand up here tonight to talk to about Brendon’s flaws - that’s what his last wedding for.  Instead, I’ve come up here today because I just watched my best friend marry a man who has made him the happiest I have ever seen him,” Tyler said, smiling as he looked over to Brendon and Dallon.  

 

“You both are wonderful people I have had the pleasure of knowing and I couldn’t be happier that you two are spending the rest of yours together.  So if you all would raise a glass with me,” Tyler said, lifting his own glass.  “And toast to the happy new couple.  I wish you many years of love and happiness.”

 

Everyone shared a drink as Tyler sat down and Brendon planted a sloppy - and a little drunk - kiss on Tyler’s cheek.  Dallon thanked him before turning to Amelie and explaining why she couldn’t drink the “sparkly” drink like everyone else.

 

Tyler looked to Josh and gave him a smug grin.  “Pretty good for winging it, am I right?”

 

Josh shook his head at his boyfriend - no, _fiance_ \- and sighed a laugh.  “That was fantastic, Ty, I’m quite impressed.”

 

The rest of the day went by smoothly, Brendon making it by with only getting slightly drunk.  Dallon and Tyler remained sober, wanting to witness Brendon’s antics.  He was still a rambling drunk like Josh knew, but this time the topic of his rambles were mostly centered around Dallon and how happy he made him.

 

Soon the few guests left the house, leaving Amelie, the newlyweds, and the newly engaged to their own  devices.  They were all sat in the home’s living room, Amelie sitting in Dallon’s lap as he brushed her hair and Brendon was sobering up with a glass of water.

 

“So when do you guys leave for your honeymoon?” Tyler asked, tangling his fingers in Josh’s hair as Josh laid his head on his shoulder.  

 

“In two days, Amelie’s mom will be here tomorrow to come pick her up,” Dallon said as he tied up Amelie’s hair into a messy bun on top of her head.  “When are you guys heading back to Seattle.”

 

“Our flight is scheduled for tomorrow night,” Tyler sighed, the dread of getting back on a plane obviously stated on his face.  “Which means we should probably be heading to bed.”

 

“No, no - wait,” Josh suddenly said, placing a hand on Tyler’s chest.  “There’s somewhere I wanna while we’re still out here - if that’s okay with you.”

 

Tyler laughed nervously.  “Uh sure.”

 

Dallon and Brendon gave them tired ‘see ya later’s as Josh dragged Tyler outside.  With Tyler’s hand in his, the two began walking down the sidewalk together.  Even though it had been a year since he had been there, Josh remembered the way like the back of his hand and guided Tyler effortlessly.

 

“Where we going, babe?” Tyler asked, looking at Josh with wide eyes.

 

Josh hesitated.  “Um, I wanted to go back to Vessel.  Ya know, just see what happened to it.”

 

Tyler paused on the sidewalk, causing Josh to come to a halt.  “Josh… do you really think this is a good idea?  That bar caused you hell and back, why would you want to go back there?”

 

Josh sighed and ran a hand over his face.  “Because it’s been almost two years, Ty, I want to be able to move on from it,” he began, “and besides, good things came out of that bar too - I mean, if it wasn’t for that damn bar, I would’ve never met you.”

 

Tyler smiled softly and pressed a kiss against Josh’s cheek.  “If that’s what you want to do, babe.”

 

Josh nodded and took Tyler’s hand back into his, making their way down the street.  They eventually made it to the downtown area and Josh searched for the familiar building.  When he found it, he was surprised to not see the pink neon sign he knew so well.  Instead, he saw a nice sign with the name “Donnie’s Diner.”

 

Josh turned to Tyler with a puzzled expression and the other boy just shrugged his shoulders before opening the door up for Josh, who walked in hesitantly as a small bell chimed throughout the room.  The building looked completely different than what Josh remembered.  It was no longer brown and dark, but instead painted blue and was lit up with lights all around.  The bar counter itself was smaller to opt for more room for tables and seats that now littered the room.

 

“Hey, welcome to Donnie’s D - _holy shit,_ is that Josh fucking Dun?”

 

Josh looked up at the sound of his name and his eyes widened in surprise at the familiar face.  “Patrick?” he questioned, walking closer to the blonde.

 

Patrick grinned widely as he pulled Josh in for a hug.  “Fucking hell dude, I never thought I would see your face again.”

 

Josh laughed as he patted Patrick on the back.  “Me neither - what the hell are you doing working at a diner?” he asked, pulling away from the hug.

 

“Pete and I owe this diner actually,” Patrick explained as Josh took in his appearance, which was no longer raggedy and dirty like he remembered.  He wore nice clothes, had a clean face, and was even wearing a _fucking fedora._ “This place went on sale like a year ago - it was practically steal, it was so cheap.”

 

“Hmm, interesting,” Josh hummed, “where’s Pete at anyway?”

 

“Ah he’s the back, cooking to his heart’s desire,” Patrick said, smiling proudly.  “Who would have thought Pete fucking Wentz knew how to cook?”

 

“I thought the only thing he knew how to make was a joint,” Josh replied.

 

Patrick laughed loudly.  “How about I take you and your boyfriend - Tyler was it? - to the back so Pete can see that punk rock hair of yours.”

 

Josh nodded.  “Yeah totally, and yes, it’s Tyler, but he’s actually my fiance.”  Josh loved being able to call Tyler his fiance.

 

Patrick’s expression became impressed as he guided the two to the back room.  Josh wanted to kick himself when his pulse sped up as he walked through the doorway he learned to dread.  The sinking feeling went away when he saw the back room was drastically different as well, now turned into a kitchen with a few appliances.

 

Pete stood behind a table, a knife in one hand and a head of lettuce in another as he cut away.  He looked up at the sound of the door opening and Josh held back a laugh as he watched Pete’s eyes nearly bug out of his head.

 

“Holy fucking hell - Josh?” Pete questioned, setting down the knife and walking over to Josh.  Josh nodded and was pulled into another hug.  “Oh shit dude - it’s been so fucking long.  Look at your hair!  You look like a proper punk brat now.”

 

Josh snorted.  “Thanks I think.”

 

“Dude, where the hell have you been these days?  I thought when we left the overpass we would run into you, but obviously we never did,” Pete stated.

 

“Oh, uh, I actually moved to Seattle with Tyler,” Josh explained, “we’ve been living there for a year now.”

 

“And they’re engaged,” Patrick piped in, making a blush crawl onto both Tyler and Josh’s cheeks.

 

“Holy shit - that’s incredible, Josh,” Pete said, clapping Josh on the arm.  “Look at you, you’re like a proper grown up now.”

 

“I could say the same to you,” Josh told him, making him laugh.

 

Pete looked over to Tyler and narrowed his eyes.  “I hope you’re taking good care of him.”

 

Tyler gave him a curt salute.  “Of course, sir.”

 

Pete barked before turning his attention back to Josh.  “Well how long are you guys gonna be here in California?” Pete asked, shoving his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the table.

 

“Oh, we’re leaving tomorrow actually,” Josh answered, a little sadly.  His heart ached as he realized he would be forced to say goodbye to someone too soon again.  He hadn’t realized how much he had missed Pete and Patrick until that moment.

 

“Well shit,” Pete sighed, “you’re breaking my heart here, Josh.”

 

Patrick wrapped his arms around Josh’s shoulders and gave him a pat on the back.  “It’s so good seeing you guys again, you want something to eat?  It’ll be on the house.”

 

Josh shook his head.  “No, no, we just ate, but thank you,” he said, “but it was so great seeing you guys too.”

 

After a few minutes of catching up, Pete and Patrick had to get back to work and Josh knew him and Tyler needed to head back to Brendon and Dallon’s place.  So they gave their goodbyes and Josh walked out of the diner.

 

Josh’s chest ached as he had to say goodbye again, but also because he was so happy, and overwhelmed by it.  It was so odd for him to not feel an ache in his bones and to not see the people around him suffering and trying to get by.  They were all moving on and finding their purpose in life.

 

Josh stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and pulled Tyler towards him.  He cupped his cheek and pulled Tyler’s lips to his.  Tyler immediately melted into the kiss and gently placed his hands on Josh’s hips,  becoming a victory for Josh when he didn’t flinch away from Tyler’s touch.  He loved how he still got butterflies every time he and Tyler kissed.

 

Pulling away for air, they rested their foreheads together and smiled to one another.  Josh grabbed Tyler’s hand and giggled to himself.  

 

“Hey Tyler?”

 

“Yes Josh?”

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too, Josh.”

 

And for once, Josh could say he was finally happy.  

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THERE YOU HAVE IT FRENS a super fluffy happy ending to a very sad story. I can't believe this story has come to an end, it has been my baby for the last month and now it's over.  
> Firstly, I have to spotlight @das-verlorene-kind who has not only given more some of the most amazing feedback, but also made fanart for this story and I encourage you all to check it out! http://tinyurl.com/zdbaxpa  
> Secondly, I'd like to thank all of you who have been so kind to me in the comments or have given me kudos or bookmarked this story! Your guys' support has been so overwhelming and I probably wouldn't have continued writing this if it wasn't for your guys' amazing feedback. I want to give a shoutout to every single one of you so badly, but there's just so many of you that I am so grateful for  
> Thirdly, as I have closed this fic I have also started another one! And I would love it if you all checked it out! I think you guys will like it x  
> Also, if you want to send me prompts or just talk, check me out on tumblr! @sleepless-peach.tumblr.com 
> 
> Once again, thank you all for supporting this story! It has helped me re-find my love for writing and I forever owe it to all of you. So thank you frens  
> Stay street and stay alive xx


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